Read all men! The role of the father in a child's life Bashny.Net

Increasingly, increasingly, increasingly I am faced with this question and the answer is "Yes with no intention dispense". It is clear that the mother, left alone, must somehow be protected from the idea that their child will not be a second parent. Moreover, when the mother thinks she is incomplete without her husband and as a woman and as a mother, it is also a kind of disaster, and the child is not good. In addition, a large number of biological fathers or they themselves grew up without a father, or only conditionally present, and then another and drinking so not always a good idea of what they can do.

Many of my clients, and just good friends are male, do not understand how they can be fathers, what they have to offer, why would they want a child and why do they need a child.

Answer.

This is an amazing creature like you, endlessly and constantly changing, makes a lot of funny, grows, loves, and rejoices in response to your love and joy — it is so incredibly beautiful and expensive.





©Ruby-Jayne

 

Why would he need a father? I'll tell you how to see it based on what I know of the psychotherapeutic experience. And yet — from the child.

Experience

The child comes into the world to learn to live in it. He doesn't know how different are women from men why you need to learn that interesting — history or chemistry as if you are trying to get a classmate with whom you should not play cards, how to answer the insult. And an infinite number of things.

Mother, grandmother is fine. But they were women. And look at the world like a woman, even if these views are very different. The father offers a different view of the world is male. And he talks about a man's world, how it works, what it valued, what is considered unimportant. What is interesting and what is not. And what he, the Pope, different from other men, what he is like them.

It is very useful and the boy and the girl. The most simple — the boy's father can tell you how to win a girl girl — what men need to fear. In my experience, my father always went easier and user friendly than my mother.

Interest

I believe interest in his child thing almost more important than love. Because you can love your child and nothing about him know. "What are you doing?", "Why?" "Why you yellow balls better than green?", "Why Leo hides under the couch from the Bunny? But the rabbit teeth longer?" — the child's world is filled with different from the adult world problems, discoveries, needs and news. They may seem strange to an adult, but if he's really interested in — the child he will open them.

And the father might tell the child that, interesting him. And the child will know more about it and maybe even link it to their lives.

I'll probably never use the ability to charge a gun, to score the rounds to look for partridges in a snowy forest. But I loved it growing up. And even more I like to go at the surprisingly beautiful snow-covered forest with my dad, listening to his stories about animals and fry over a campfire sausage or sausage. And drive to work for him, smelling gasoline in the garage. Because this is the world of my father, which he likes. So, it is very interesting.





Love

Men love different from women. Of course, that all individually, but my father allowed me to be myself. Sometimes it scares me because my character in adolescence was just the devil, and now I'm the relative of that period acting as a quiet angel. But all my childhood I knew that daddy loves me exactly for who I am. Not five (although they were very proud of them), not for help around the house (I always was lazy), but for stubbornness, incredible similarity to him in details and own opinion. I felt his permission to be yourself. And the knowledge that for what I am, I can love.Grandma and aunt it was denied. Sometimes they were joined by the mother. They often would lecture me on "good girl." But I knew the rights of my father.

When he died, I found a Brigadier in the bag, which he bequeathed to me, a small corner of the airplane, which he threw mom when she was in the hospital. It was written that he was waiting for me and mom, and likes us. I will never believe that doing such things is weakness. This is one of the most precious things to me. For me, this area is worth more than the apartment, which helped me to by my parents. It means my dad wanted me to be born.

When you grow up my daughter, I show her a poem that I texts sent by her father, when I was in the hospital, and pictures that he drew during my pregnancy. And she would know — we waited for her together. We wish she was. With this background to live in the world much easier. And much easier to forgive my parents for that stuff they do later. Instead of doing stuff they really can't.

Support

Mom and dad — people are different. They do different things with different success. There are problems that the mother decides? Is what she does best. When I was growing up, I knew that the money, for example, in the book, it's easier to beg of the Pope. Because mom's reading — something like sandwiches with chocolate. But for my father every book I read was pride. I knew I was in love experiences, dad's not going to judge me and will listen and talk about something else. For me it helped a lot.

He was worried, where and with whom I live. Sent me to the Dorm room half the content money and half the banks with red caviar, parcels with fish and venison, assuring mom that the money will end quickly, and delicious and healthy food is expensive I hardly buy it.

Respect

This is one more important thing is the respect for the child. His body. Time. Interests. The fact that he appreciates and loves, even if it's worn to the last destruction of the bear.

My father rarely praised me. But when praised, I knew it really. He knew that there are things that are important to me, and trying not to destroy them. When I read late, he swore he knew that in the morning I normally get up to school. He calmly react to the fact that I wear and listen to, even if it is not liked, he wasn't thrown out my tapes, and asked to turn it down. Did hush the TV, even if it was football, if I'm in my room doing homework and asked him to lower the volume. And he very rarely violated the agreement.

Thanks to my father I know that there are men who are interested in intelligent woman with ordinary looks are more than empty-headed beauty. That there are men who will never rape a woman. Not cheat on my wife because I respect her and love. It with this wording. There are men who love and can not only cook, but also wash the dishes and shopping for groceries. "Because they are heavy, and your mother is not heavy to lift". To make the linen, because it requires physical strength.

However, he was not the most enlightened person on the planet. It was not a drop of femininity. He finished eight classes, courses masons and driving courses. He served in the army. All life worked as the driver, and for a long time on the streets. Took the pipe, took "the tower", were transported gasoline. He wrote a very funny grammatical errors and did not earn much as other fathers in our city. Wore a plaid flannel shirt and jeans and was completely indifferent as to what color they are. It's called "a simple worker". He was broke and was throwing tantrums periodically, could fall into depression.He had a lot of disadvantages and is completely disgusting, his own father, and a very difficult childhood in which he wasn't especially needed. And sometimes it was very difficult, but I knew, somewhere deep down, even in the most difficult moments that he loves me.





And I gave examples of our relationship with him in order to make it clear: it can make every man to his child. It's not easy, but possible. If you wanted to.published

 

Author: Adrian IMI

 



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