Watching women in the process of a breakup with my husband, I saw almost all the pain and guilt. They go hand in hand. Pain
The pain lasts continuously, and it causes everything. Empty half of the bed. His things in the closet that he has not yet picked up. The sound of the machine under the window. The key turn in the door... in the neighborhood. 7 PM, 8 PM, 12 am... and everything is different now. Night, if you have a shred of imagination, and he went to the other night is the worst. I was afraid of them and didn't sleep.
Hurts past and future, I was between these two tenses, like chicken.
In the past it was poisoned. Turned off the phone. A friend's birthday, which for some reason he left without me. His later absence, new words, strange knowledge about women's perfume, inconsistencies and discrepancies, which have now acquired poisoning clarity. I etched the truth like a poison.
The future collapsed. I now grass widow, divorcee, and loner – all the unsightly definition "of the people" pop up in my head, and I couldn't forgive himself for it. From a happy woman I turned into a girl scared of a dog, eyes. I have a photograph of that period – I was smiling, and his eyes were frightened.
A friend who lived through it, one day called and told me to put it out of sight. I didn't believe her, but stupidly obeyed. Taking in the closet of his pants to put them in the bag, I noticed the pant leg is white wool. That cat! I cried, embracing our gray cat. I knew all along. But I didn't understand how he could exchange our unique cat, his pet, someone else's cat!
This is just an example of how off guard catches everything. By the way, removed the things I really feel better.
Present at this time, the woman has no.
I didn't have it until then, until the day I learned to live with updates.
I sat in the bathroom and cry yourself to sleep, as usual. You know, in family life every sound familiar. When one of us took a bath, the other is definitely knocking at the door – come in for a chat and to sit down. I habitually listened, then remembered that now no one will come, and aliwalas tears. At some point, I remember it distinctly, I was looking at a white cap of foam on his knee and realized that I can not continue. What I'm going to die right here, and I have a daughter. And then I said to myself – now you will wash your head and drink some tea, and then we'll see.
So I learned to live short dashes from five minutes to five minutes to think about all became quite unbearable. I really recommend it. Then out of this skill has increased almost real Zen, but more on that later.
Next thing falls on the woman left behind the pain, is a gigantic fault, which is suffocating. I was doing something wrong. I did everything wrong. He became ill, and he left. I started to hate myself, and hate I'm always very cold.
One night, accepting the fact that I was doing something wrong, I decided to figure out what I was wrong. Looking ahead, I will say that I still find out it, and it is useful. At that moment, I with a clear head I realized that she can not cope, and decided to go to a therapist.
Dear women, be sure to use this opportunity. I can assure you that it is necessary to make sure. In our country it is not accepted, but in our country for a long time, wipe with newspaper, sorry. A psychologist or family therapist will do two things: first, will remove an acute condition, and you will be able to think; and second, to think you in the right direction under his leadership. You'll find amazing discoveries and an irresistible desire to shout: "I did not understand before!"
As well as the desire to drag her husband because "now everything will be fine if we all understand?"
This cannot be done, of course. You work only with yourself. Look for the person of the therapist, the session at which you will weep and from which you leave with Poleschuk heart. If not, change specialist.
So, what can and should be done on this, the most acute stage:
- to clean up my husband's things out of sight, even if you hope that he will return tomorrow;
- find your psychologist;
- ask friends, so they you do.
And that's about it separately.
You know, away from everyone. But most often go where no... no... where you put yourself on the instrument as a woman. I'm not interested in the reasons for this, but at that moment, when my husband left her, I wore baggy clothes, hairdresser dyed me badly, and I weighed 10 kg more than necessary. I enthusiastically Vila nest and prepared pizza, and our daily menu took me much more than a new disc ......
When my sister grabbed me by the collar and dragged him to the shops, borrowed money, I resisted. What? Life is over.
Life came back on, when I went to the makeup counter. And not because I love the jars, although I love them. I was spit on jars. But I suddenly realized frantically that you don't remember how I like my lipstick. And I loved Nina Ritchie.
No: do not devalue the relationship!Know how to fall in love, and can't hold: What did I do wrong
To painful to recall its existence, it took me about five minutes. To understand what the bottom I fell, is five. After that I bought a hair dye and for the first time in the last year – sheer black stockings instead of the usual tights. I was back on the heels and on the same night, hating myself red, repainted black. And I feel better. And my Nina Richie, drunken until I threw myself to release stopped, so that's something.
And here's my third recommendation: shopping and hair salon.
Color hair and I sure as fast as you can!!! But to lose weight you will lose weight. Over the next five months I lost 11 kg. published
Author: Yulia Rubleva