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From love to hate or immature about love
How many problems arise in relationships due to the fact that someone to whom something was said or done, to understand not immediately wanted, freaked herself out, rashly went to look for support elsewhere, was to inform all relatives and friends about what a bad husband or wife how badly did the children, parents, colleagues at work, then the conflict is resolved, the relationship with the offender was adjusted, and the environment is the outcome of the situation refuses to accept.
Does this sound familiar? Yes every step is found.
Husband cheated and told everything to mom and dad, they, of course, furious, then my husband decided (not immediately, but within a year or two) decided to restore, to correct the error, but the rage of the parents will not go away. Wife "spree", took the kids to the country, told them in detail, then talked to neighbors, then to his closest friends, then it turned out that not so all was well in the family, and the husband is also to blame, began to understand, to try to cope at times of crisis, but how to handle them if chopped at the root, the result of so many people were involved in a personal story.
The habit of "not to wash dirty linen in public," often in favor of long-term relationships, and even better try "not to make quarrels in public," because fighting a lot of pent-up, emotional and fleeting. What today seems an incredibly important and very, very bad, tomorrow may not seem so unbearable, and the day after the incident, the conflict will seem "necessary shake-up" for your relationship.
When we in anger to a close person begin to seek support from their environment, that are often biased. The more pain and hurt, the harder it is to stop myself from aromatizirovannaya, very much like all the other people realized how bad he is or how she did a terrible thing, to have someone come and protect our wounded inner child, properly punishing those who dare to cause "irreparable damage to the self esteem, the heart and the senses."
Yes, in our life anything can happen, not all situations can (and should) do it alone. If the family violence, if long overdue crisis if too destructive behaviors inherent in those who live in the same area, it is necessary to ask for help, it's not up to a decent silence. You need to go to professionals to seek the support of friends and family, to get out of situations where there is a risk to life and health, but right now I'm writing about something else.
Now I write about situations in which many people behave like little children begin to cry and cry out to the senior defenders at the slightest excuse: "Mamaaaaa, she broke my proooooo, nakajimi her!" "Papaaaa, he doesn't want to give me the car and I want this musiienko take away his, masiyenko!", "Led Alexandrovna, it hit me podushevoe, AAAA, Babuska, he took a bite from my pilotka, aaaaaa", "Deboulet and brother always switches the TV and won't let me watch cartoons", and much more.
Took a piece of candy, did not say what he wanted to hear, not flowers, did not appreciate my gift, looked the wrong place, doing wrong things, "I/he is doing and he(a)...", does not work there, earn a little, earn a lot, but weren't paying attention, greedy, petty, cantankerous, a figure don't like the intimacy of the problem, it's not pretty, bad manners, etc.
Sometimes listening to the stories of the people about each other and the feeling that every day is a game of "find the bad that is in man," then be sure to write it all down in a special book, not to forget, and tell all the people around me to know what it really is, and then think about the poor man too well. I'll write a couple of posts of all the filth in social networks about once a close person, let them know, what a jerk. That will tell all the relatives and friends that she made, regret a million times that I was contacted. Regret certainly!
Moreover, this behavior greatly reduces the chances of settling the conflict by peaceful means.
The ability to be alone with their thoughts and emotions, the desire to understand the situation on their own (at least without excessive involvement of a third party), attempt to look at of the circumstances calmly and objectively, the desire to find not guilty, and a constructive solution to the conflict distinguish an adult from a child.
The child is very difficult to find resources to help you cope with stress and difficult life circumstances simply because of their age, lack of knowledge and experience.
It is expected that by the time the family (and preferably, several years earlier), people have worked on themselves enough to understand the topic of relations, received the necessary knowledge, worked on the character, and learned to cope with difficulties and acquire the skills necessary for family life.
If it is, then the need to go and get help and support from social networks or entourage whenever she did not get out of the house, the young man gave flowers, falling out on the date because of some little thing, but even if something serious happens — divorce, adultery, crisis in relations, property division, courts are simply not there. Yes, you will talk about it later, when things calm down, and if deemed necessary, but in the process of off-scale emotions you know how to handle the situation more environmentally friendly ways.
You need to understand that personal life affects not only ourselves but another person. When we come here and throw out someone's most unflattering of close man or woman, when accused parents or other relatives of all the deadly sins when talking about children, siblings, friends or colleagues each time start with the mudslinging, what wonder if one day the trauma will live, we will rest, and those to whom we are all told it will remain a very bad feeling.
Whether we like it or not, but their stories about important people and events we form their image, and you need to carefully choose the words because they are, as we know, not the sparrows, and if we will fly, to catch tired. No need to tell your parents bad things about the chosen one, if you don't want to face the future with a situation where they won't support our decision to create a family with him. No need to say that the wife is unable to cope with domestic or other chores, in a family of two live, so they have to build their own world separately, to help each other to grow and develop and not to destroy the heat of criticism and gossip.
If we know that each of our not very correct step, you will immediately become known to friends and relatives, motivation for transformation, not so much. Who like life under the gun? Anyone. From such a life inside there is tension and fear, the constant sense of humiliation and can be guilt, and when such background feelings to love and to build relationships is not very easy.
Every couple has hard times, every family is full of ugly stories, we all have those parties that you do not want to face even ourselves, and certainly do not want to witness such manifestations was the whole environment. Strange, but in business everyone wants to create a better reputation and the product, then we have the high-quality, and high-level professionals and the training we conduct, and clients appreciate-respect and all that, but why families do not? Sling mud and harder, but most interesting is that simultaneously with such behavior trying to obtain from a person any benefit or transformation.
Well, if a person is poor and not up to your standards, why there's something to be?
And that all this is the hardest, so it's impossible to play in a Mature relationship.
The ability to take the lessons from difficult situations, willingness to meet each other, attempt to negotiate and resolve family issues without involving third parties are expensive.
In order to begin to see the good in people and to talk about it, we need the maturity, but not excessive lyricism and romanticizing the image of a partner or other loved ones.
"From love to hate one step" is about immature love, today enjoyed by man, chose to live in a world of illusions, and tomorrow had to face the unappealing reality, and then everything collapsed. Well, because and collapsed, which was not built. And when the candy was taken away, there is only resentment, anger and other negative emotions, the desire to avenge my pain.
To see in person more than those actions which he commits, is not easy. It's all about the long road to themselves, about the ability to think, to interact, in something to limit myself, to live the pain, forgive and move on. Often to move forward we have with those who have hurt us or whom we do it caused. And if the whole life to only do what to look for supporters, receiving solely our side, the awakening can be very painful.
Also interesting: the Gap troubled relationships: to go or not?
To do "AS EXPECTED" and losing a relationship
You know, I often hear the idea — why I never stopped? Why not talk to me harshly and severely? Why didn't you tell the truth?
Didn't say because didn't want to hear, let's be honest. To blame anyone for their failures is much easier than to start with yourself. Let's start with ourselves. published
Author: Dean Richards
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
Source: www.facebook.com/dina.v.richards/posts/10153321124579452:0
Does this sound familiar? Yes every step is found.
Husband cheated and told everything to mom and dad, they, of course, furious, then my husband decided (not immediately, but within a year or two) decided to restore, to correct the error, but the rage of the parents will not go away. Wife "spree", took the kids to the country, told them in detail, then talked to neighbors, then to his closest friends, then it turned out that not so all was well in the family, and the husband is also to blame, began to understand, to try to cope at times of crisis, but how to handle them if chopped at the root, the result of so many people were involved in a personal story.
The habit of "not to wash dirty linen in public," often in favor of long-term relationships, and even better try "not to make quarrels in public," because fighting a lot of pent-up, emotional and fleeting. What today seems an incredibly important and very, very bad, tomorrow may not seem so unbearable, and the day after the incident, the conflict will seem "necessary shake-up" for your relationship.
When we in anger to a close person begin to seek support from their environment, that are often biased. The more pain and hurt, the harder it is to stop myself from aromatizirovannaya, very much like all the other people realized how bad he is or how she did a terrible thing, to have someone come and protect our wounded inner child, properly punishing those who dare to cause "irreparable damage to the self esteem, the heart and the senses."
Yes, in our life anything can happen, not all situations can (and should) do it alone. If the family violence, if long overdue crisis if too destructive behaviors inherent in those who live in the same area, it is necessary to ask for help, it's not up to a decent silence. You need to go to professionals to seek the support of friends and family, to get out of situations where there is a risk to life and health, but right now I'm writing about something else.
Now I write about situations in which many people behave like little children begin to cry and cry out to the senior defenders at the slightest excuse: "Mamaaaaa, she broke my proooooo, nakajimi her!" "Papaaaa, he doesn't want to give me the car and I want this musiienko take away his, masiyenko!", "Led Alexandrovna, it hit me podushevoe, AAAA, Babuska, he took a bite from my pilotka, aaaaaa", "Deboulet and brother always switches the TV and won't let me watch cartoons", and much more.
Took a piece of candy, did not say what he wanted to hear, not flowers, did not appreciate my gift, looked the wrong place, doing wrong things, "I/he is doing and he(a)...", does not work there, earn a little, earn a lot, but weren't paying attention, greedy, petty, cantankerous, a figure don't like the intimacy of the problem, it's not pretty, bad manners, etc.
Sometimes listening to the stories of the people about each other and the feeling that every day is a game of "find the bad that is in man," then be sure to write it all down in a special book, not to forget, and tell all the people around me to know what it really is, and then think about the poor man too well. I'll write a couple of posts of all the filth in social networks about once a close person, let them know, what a jerk. That will tell all the relatives and friends that she made, regret a million times that I was contacted. Regret certainly!
Moreover, this behavior greatly reduces the chances of settling the conflict by peaceful means.
The ability to be alone with their thoughts and emotions, the desire to understand the situation on their own (at least without excessive involvement of a third party), attempt to look at of the circumstances calmly and objectively, the desire to find not guilty, and a constructive solution to the conflict distinguish an adult from a child.
The child is very difficult to find resources to help you cope with stress and difficult life circumstances simply because of their age, lack of knowledge and experience.
It is expected that by the time the family (and preferably, several years earlier), people have worked on themselves enough to understand the topic of relations, received the necessary knowledge, worked on the character, and learned to cope with difficulties and acquire the skills necessary for family life.
If it is, then the need to go and get help and support from social networks or entourage whenever she did not get out of the house, the young man gave flowers, falling out on the date because of some little thing, but even if something serious happens — divorce, adultery, crisis in relations, property division, courts are simply not there. Yes, you will talk about it later, when things calm down, and if deemed necessary, but in the process of off-scale emotions you know how to handle the situation more environmentally friendly ways.
You need to understand that personal life affects not only ourselves but another person. When we come here and throw out someone's most unflattering of close man or woman, when accused parents or other relatives of all the deadly sins when talking about children, siblings, friends or colleagues each time start with the mudslinging, what wonder if one day the trauma will live, we will rest, and those to whom we are all told it will remain a very bad feeling.
Whether we like it or not, but their stories about important people and events we form their image, and you need to carefully choose the words because they are, as we know, not the sparrows, and if we will fly, to catch tired. No need to tell your parents bad things about the chosen one, if you don't want to face the future with a situation where they won't support our decision to create a family with him. No need to say that the wife is unable to cope with domestic or other chores, in a family of two live, so they have to build their own world separately, to help each other to grow and develop and not to destroy the heat of criticism and gossip.
If we know that each of our not very correct step, you will immediately become known to friends and relatives, motivation for transformation, not so much. Who like life under the gun? Anyone. From such a life inside there is tension and fear, the constant sense of humiliation and can be guilt, and when such background feelings to love and to build relationships is not very easy.
Every couple has hard times, every family is full of ugly stories, we all have those parties that you do not want to face even ourselves, and certainly do not want to witness such manifestations was the whole environment. Strange, but in business everyone wants to create a better reputation and the product, then we have the high-quality, and high-level professionals and the training we conduct, and clients appreciate-respect and all that, but why families do not? Sling mud and harder, but most interesting is that simultaneously with such behavior trying to obtain from a person any benefit or transformation.
Well, if a person is poor and not up to your standards, why there's something to be?
- Parents are horrible, ashamed to be with them, so why live in their territory and take their money?
- In children, the nature of bad, for those not married and married, and the example they were good? Maybe not such a good example, since apples patients on a healthy Apple tree born?
- And how do you think your husband or wife can love your family, if all the talk was about what parents with me the whole childhood abused, and parents make choice of your will, if from the beginning you only talk bad about him?
- The man will come back to you, if you write on the wall of the intimate details of his life and how ugly he behaved or said something in the heat of an argument?
- A woman wants to be with you, can you forgive, if you pearscale about her nasties?
And that all this is the hardest, so it's impossible to play in a Mature relationship.
The ability to take the lessons from difficult situations, willingness to meet each other, attempt to negotiate and resolve family issues without involving third parties are expensive.
In order to begin to see the good in people and to talk about it, we need the maturity, but not excessive lyricism and romanticizing the image of a partner or other loved ones.
"From love to hate one step" is about immature love, today enjoyed by man, chose to live in a world of illusions, and tomorrow had to face the unappealing reality, and then everything collapsed. Well, because and collapsed, which was not built. And when the candy was taken away, there is only resentment, anger and other negative emotions, the desire to avenge my pain.
To see in person more than those actions which he commits, is not easy. It's all about the long road to themselves, about the ability to think, to interact, in something to limit myself, to live the pain, forgive and move on. Often to move forward we have with those who have hurt us or whom we do it caused. And if the whole life to only do what to look for supporters, receiving solely our side, the awakening can be very painful.
Also interesting: the Gap troubled relationships: to go or not?
To do "AS EXPECTED" and losing a relationship
You know, I often hear the idea — why I never stopped? Why not talk to me harshly and severely? Why didn't you tell the truth?
Didn't say because didn't want to hear, let's be honest. To blame anyone for their failures is much easier than to start with yourself. Let's start with ourselves. published
Author: Dean Richards
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
Source: www.facebook.com/dina.v.richards/posts/10153321124579452:0