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Phrases of manipulators that you should not believe
Let’s talk about phrases you don’t have to believe. These are the so-called manipulative phrases.
The first group of such phrases consists of expressions., with the prefix "JOY". You squeeze, Younger Woman, Younger Mistress and so on. The purpose of these phrases is to make the person comfortable for the manipulator. These phrases cause guilt.
Well, really, what kind of hostess who can't make a lamb under a sled, and what kind of wife who doesn't meet her husband in a peñoir and with a slight smile after making that lamb all day?
Protection against manipulation can be a prepared response. “Push!” you heard, like a reproach, answer proudly: “And not just a mother, but the best mother in the world.”
My family tried to put pressure on me for a long time with the phrase: “Your psychologist.” Indeed, psychologists never feel fear, anger, rage, never raise their voices and poop with butterflies.
But, I developed a defense, and now to the phrase "Tyzhpsychologist", I answer: "No, dear." I'm neurotic now.
The second group of phrase manipulators“I’ll marry you if... (you lose weight/get out of work/give me a baby/stop hanging out with a girlfriend).”
Don't believe me. You may get married, but don’t believe you’ll be happy. Any relationship based on the word IF is doomed to failure. If it's a code, a secret code. It involves blackmail and manipulation. He's got dislike in him. There is a dead end, there is nowhere to go.
And so the best answer is, "If I don't see you again in my life, it will be your best gift to me." Ciao-cao! And left, knocking heels.
The above groups refer to negative manipulation, because they affect a person through guilt.
But in addition to negative manipulations, there are positive flattery. That's it. third group of phrase manipulators. Almost all women's magazines are full of tips on how to get from the husband and partner any action, for example, to fix the notorious tap. “Honey, no one can do it better than you!” is a phrase that magazines advise to use in managing a husband.
It's actually a huge mistake. Manipulation, even positive, will not lead to anything good.
First, insincerity is felt immediately, at the level of the subconscious, you can say anything, but you can not hide the falsehood. Secondly, this type of phrase is often perceived with aggression. After all, your husband is not a complete fool, not to understand that you seriously can not believe that he will fix a tap better than a plumber.
I will give an example from the lives of my relatives. One of my relatives has been suffering from alcoholism for a long time. He was encoded and treated, and what he did not do, did not help. About six months ago, he agreed to go to rehab, and everything seemed to be going well.
But one day he said he was leaving. When they began to understand what was happening, it turned out that he was offended that he was congratulated on his birthday. Following the books on psychology, where it is quite rightly noted that, as a rule, alcoholism is a direct consequence of dislike and feelings of uselessness, the grief psychologists of the center try to show by all means that he is needed and loved, but use such clumsy methods that only a feeling of nausea arises from them.
They congratulated him all day, he didn’t know where to go from these congratulations. At first there was a feeling of awkwardness, and then there was anger that they thought he was an idiot.
Well, in fact, he's a 50-year-old adult who can't help but realize that strangers can't love him with the motherly love he's been missing. As a result, it was necessary to spend a huge effort to smooth out this terrible situation and continue treatment.
Behind every fear is the desire that it should be so.The Psychology of Poverty or the Barriers to Wealth
No manipulation will achieve the desired result, healthy and harmonious relationships can be built only on sincerity. Everything else is called brain drain. published
Author: Natalia Meleshko
Source: psy-practice.com/publications/lichnye-otnosheniya/frazi_kotorim_ne_nado_verit/
The first group of such phrases consists of expressions., with the prefix "JOY". You squeeze, Younger Woman, Younger Mistress and so on. The purpose of these phrases is to make the person comfortable for the manipulator. These phrases cause guilt.
Well, really, what kind of hostess who can't make a lamb under a sled, and what kind of wife who doesn't meet her husband in a peñoir and with a slight smile after making that lamb all day?
Protection against manipulation can be a prepared response. “Push!” you heard, like a reproach, answer proudly: “And not just a mother, but the best mother in the world.”
My family tried to put pressure on me for a long time with the phrase: “Your psychologist.” Indeed, psychologists never feel fear, anger, rage, never raise their voices and poop with butterflies.
But, I developed a defense, and now to the phrase "Tyzhpsychologist", I answer: "No, dear." I'm neurotic now.
The second group of phrase manipulators“I’ll marry you if... (you lose weight/get out of work/give me a baby/stop hanging out with a girlfriend).”
Don't believe me. You may get married, but don’t believe you’ll be happy. Any relationship based on the word IF is doomed to failure. If it's a code, a secret code. It involves blackmail and manipulation. He's got dislike in him. There is a dead end, there is nowhere to go.
And so the best answer is, "If I don't see you again in my life, it will be your best gift to me." Ciao-cao! And left, knocking heels.
The above groups refer to negative manipulation, because they affect a person through guilt.
But in addition to negative manipulations, there are positive flattery. That's it. third group of phrase manipulators. Almost all women's magazines are full of tips on how to get from the husband and partner any action, for example, to fix the notorious tap. “Honey, no one can do it better than you!” is a phrase that magazines advise to use in managing a husband.
It's actually a huge mistake. Manipulation, even positive, will not lead to anything good.
First, insincerity is felt immediately, at the level of the subconscious, you can say anything, but you can not hide the falsehood. Secondly, this type of phrase is often perceived with aggression. After all, your husband is not a complete fool, not to understand that you seriously can not believe that he will fix a tap better than a plumber.
I will give an example from the lives of my relatives. One of my relatives has been suffering from alcoholism for a long time. He was encoded and treated, and what he did not do, did not help. About six months ago, he agreed to go to rehab, and everything seemed to be going well.
But one day he said he was leaving. When they began to understand what was happening, it turned out that he was offended that he was congratulated on his birthday. Following the books on psychology, where it is quite rightly noted that, as a rule, alcoholism is a direct consequence of dislike and feelings of uselessness, the grief psychologists of the center try to show by all means that he is needed and loved, but use such clumsy methods that only a feeling of nausea arises from them.
They congratulated him all day, he didn’t know where to go from these congratulations. At first there was a feeling of awkwardness, and then there was anger that they thought he was an idiot.
Well, in fact, he's a 50-year-old adult who can't help but realize that strangers can't love him with the motherly love he's been missing. As a result, it was necessary to spend a huge effort to smooth out this terrible situation and continue treatment.
Behind every fear is the desire that it should be so.The Psychology of Poverty or the Barriers to Wealth
No manipulation will achieve the desired result, healthy and harmonious relationships can be built only on sincerity. Everything else is called brain drain. published
Author: Natalia Meleshko
Source: psy-practice.com/publications/lichnye-otnosheniya/frazi_kotorim_ne_nado_verit/
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