Why the child does not listen—4 reasons

If the children are not listening to you, try to understand why.

  

Let's analyze the actions of the child and try to understand why the child is naughty.Parents often complain that their child grows unruly, does not comply with the requirements of the senior, do not recognize the authority. However, only few try to analyze your child and understand what is causing a particular pattern of behavior. Most parents require from the child unquestioning obedience and strict compliance with all the prohibitions, not even realizing whether or not all these bans are fair and dictated by a necessity.

 

Disobedience as a protest

 

What is protesting against a naughty child? Quite often a negative pattern of behavior is a response to too many restrictions, which, frankly, are not always justified. Children are very sensitive to the surrounding situation and if a strict attitude towards them is dictated not just by the desire to protect against possible trouble, and the parents need to feel their importance, to assert its ultimate authority, then the child's reaction may be just a protest against the rigid restrictions of his freedom.

 




The overprotective adults in the child generates internal protest, which outwardly manifested in the form of disobedience. Often we do not perceive children as a full person and not even try to explain the reasons for their bans. Categorically not without any explanation of its causes, may trigger in response to a storm of protest, denial of the right of senior for strong management of the child's life. That is why it is necessary not just to prohibit, but to explain the reason of this prohibition.

 

Disobedience as a result of attention deficit

 

Psychologists say that disobedience is the child's attempt to attract the attention of parents, when he feels he lacks. Attention deficit pushes the child for bad behavior, which is for his parents as a stimulus. As a rule, to such behavior, parents react faster than obedience, and if the child fails to earn praise, he goes even to an apparent conflict with parents, in an attempt to attract their attention.

 

This pattern of behavior very quickly fixed, because the child sees that when it is disobedience of parents are detached from even the most urgent cases, in order to make a point, and sometimes even punish, that is, exercise may not be pleasant, but attention. In order that the disobedience does not become the norm, parents need to learn to listen to your child, to show genuine interest in what is happening in his life, to give him enough attention and praise, even for the smallest success.

 

Disobedience as an indicator of insecurity

 

Most children are sensitive to failures in a particular case, especially if a negative experience is reinforced by the criticism. This is the first that lowers the child's self-esteem, cause the uncertainty in the forces, leads to a loss of faith in success. This gives rise to the appearance of problems in communicating with others, and then in communication with peers.

 

Often, disobedience in school, reduction of school failure and lack of control of the child is a kind of shield, which he closed because of the insecurity. If a child is constantly criticized for the slightest mistakes and faults, he had the impression that it is not worth trying to change behaviour or attitudes to learning, to life in General, because it still will not lead to success. The child must feel the support of parents, their unconditional confidence in its success, and their love, even if it has many mistakes and blunders.

 




Disobedience because of jealousy or resentment

 

Often the appearance of a second child in the family is not only great joy but also a big test for the firstborn. Parents in this situation need to exercise maximum wisdom and diplomacy, to give the first child more love that he felt its uselessness, and that jealousy was not the reason for outbreaks of disobedience. Through disobedience, the child can vent resentment, a sense of helplessness from knowing that his place in the heart of the parent is taken by someone else.

 

It is very important to do in this situation of the firstborn ally, to explain to him how lucky youngest child, he's got a big brother or a big sister. To the extent possible need to involve an older child to care for the young, however, do not forget to leave time each day dedicated only to him. The eldest child needs to feel important, love yourself – it will help him to Orient in a situation and will not cause negative patterns of behaviour by zeal for the youngest child or because of resentment on the parents.

 

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