The children have different fathers— how to build relationships

It happens that our ideas about the only man in my life not met. After the bad first experience of family life you are left with a child, and after some time met his soul mate and then wait for recharge... How to establish a relationship between half-brothers or sisters?
From the point of view of children For any child parents ' divorce is a huge stress, and the emergence in the life of the mother of another man — at least a serious test. What can we say about if from the new husband's mother is expecting another child.

When a child is deprived of a full family, it is most commonly experience anxiety, resentment and betrayal. Adaptation to new conditions takes time and effort, and when my mom comes another man, the child will again need to fit into the new conditions.

If you have decided on a second or third child from the new husband, first you have to prepare senior to such changes.

The first and most necessary condition constantly let the child know that you and your new man is his love, appreciate and cherish. Yes, family situation is different, his real dad lives alone, and the new husband with you, but that doesn't mean that you betrayed him, become less love and respect. Explain it, pronounce as often as possible. The child must be calm and confident before the advent of your family's new baby.

The second important point is that you need to prepare baby to a new family member. You need to explain that you are expecting a baby, and he will be your younger brother or sister. He needs to care, love and help, until he grows up. It is important to note that there is no difference in the fact that dads are different. Most importantly — all of you together native people and one big family.

Thirdly, it is necessary to prevent jealousy. The older child may fear that you will cease to pay attention to him, will be spending time with the "new" kid, and he'll be all alone. Try to tell a child that for the first time after the birth of his brother or sister you really will have less time but this does not mean that you will fall out and you will no longer worry about his problems. On the contrary, now he needs to grow up and help you whenever possible in the education of a new family member.

Fourth, it makes sense to explain that despite the fact that he and his brother will have different dads, they will still be family and loved ones, they will make friends and become each other real support. It is important to create an atmosphere of pleasant anticipation of the baby, and when he shows up, all goes well.

From the point of view of men If your new spouse is ready to become a father of both children, he really will try to do it. But before deciding important decisions about procreation it is important to learn some things.

First, there is serious reason to believe that your husband will love your child more so against another baby need to discuss in advance. The main and most important rule for a normal atmosphere in the family where there are half-brothers and sisters — not to compare children. Even if the difference between them is felt at the level of perception, in any case can not stress it directly. It's not the best way to affect the development of both.

Also in no event it is impossible to divide children into "my" and "mine." This also applies to cases when, together with you, a man living with your own child. If you have decided to live with a family, each family member entitled to the same amount of love, attention and respect. Otherwise, the inevitable negative consequences.

Secondly, a man may be jealous of you and the baby to the older child. To avoid this, again, rationally allocate their time and attention. You will be able to create harmony and mutual understanding in the family, except for jealousy and conflict.

Thirdly, try to build a hierarchy so that your family was "General camp". This means that you need to discuss in advance the principles of bringing up children, when you have a second or third child. It needs to be on your side, and you on it. Decisions regarding the development of children and their adulthood should be accepted together and not separately.

Fourthly, a man may have a negative attitude to the mother father of your child. There is a sense to clearly separate responsibilities of men in relation to children, so that no one jurisdiction and not encroach on "foreign territory". In any case, neither he nor you have no right to restrict the child's relationship with biological father. Exceptions are those instances when these meetings can be potentially dangerous. It is extremely important to exclude from the new husband's negative evaluative statements about his own father in the presence of children. All conflicts and disorders you have to leave outside nursery, or the children will be disoriented constant discomfort because of the situation.



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