5 common and unfounded myths about romantic dating

What question do couples hear most often? Right: "How did you meet?" At the same time, in response, you expect something incredibly romantic, for example: “We accidentally collided in the subway, a spark ran between us, and then we searched for each other for six months through the eyes of the crowd, until we finally met at a party with mutual friends and began to live happily ever after,” a story worthy of a melodrama script. With the candy-bouquet period of the relationship between a man and a woman is associated with a lot of clichés, from a scientific point of view, absolutely unfounded. Let’s look at the five most common ones.

1. Computer scientists - "old maidens"



Gamers and other computer nerds are dying virgins because the biggest adventure in their lives is sex chatting, and the big step is the novel in In Contact. At least that’s how movie and television geeks paint us: fat, shy boys with glasses who spend most of their lives watching computer monitors.

However, in fact, they are smart, educated, IT-savvy and not at all such “scumbags” as we used to think. A 2008 study found that gamers were twice as likely to date as their peers who did not play computer games. And most importantly, with the growth of the gaming market and the popularization of the Internet, there are almost no people who do not hang for hours behind computers and game consoles. As the saying goes, let someone who hasn’t tweeted throw a stone at me today. In addition, the audience of multiplayer online games is very large: World of Tanks is not only played by boys. There are many examples when a couple, having met in a game, then become virtualized and even create a family.

2. Dating sites for losers

“On dating sites, there are only perverts or losers who don’t get anything in real life. They are so ugly, unsociable and stupid that they can’t even talk to a saleswoman in a supermarket, let alone glue someone together, most people who are tired of scrubbing a mailbox with the headlines “Find your love!” or “You’ve been sent sympathy” think.

But statistics show the opposite: every fifth user of the dating site finds a life partner on the portal, while 94% of couples who met on the Internet meet and continue to communicate offline. Why is this happening? As you know, in the network, people are more frank: behind nicknames and avatars you can not only hide your external and internal shortcomings, but also conduct sincere intimate conversations. On the Internet, sometimes it is much easier to find like-minded people who will accept you as you are. Agree, you are unlikely to tell a random fellow commuter on the train how much you are worried about problems at work, what psychological damage to you as a child had the death of your beloved dog or why you like The Beatles. An Internet fan or fan can post almost anything, because you do not need to look him/her in the eye. Thanks to dating sites, you can easily find a person with common interests and views on life.

3. Women in relationships are more emotional, and men are calm and reasonable.

How many movies have you seen where a woman in a hysterical fit ruins everything in her path while a guy keeps his Buddhist calm trying to calm her down? This can be found in almost all Chickflicks, for example, in the series “Sex and the City”: stylish, smart and sexy Carrie Bradshaw regularly carries the brains of her fans. Do filmmakers really think men can break a woman's heart and then just wipe her tears?

After interviewing more than a thousand single young people and girls, scientists came to the conclusion that men in relationships are actually more emotional than women, but they do not tend to show their feelings. You won’t expect them to have pity on social media or tantrums: most likely, they will just close themselves, close themselves, although it is likely that they will be very worried and even cry alone. According to psychologists, this is due to the fact that for a man, the family is his rear, so quarrels and misunderstandings jeopardize his personal well-being. In addition, men, as a rule, have less opportunities for emotional discharge: a girl can call a “cry” girlfriend, and she will feel better, and representatives of the strong half of humanity do not allow this.

4. Feminism is killing romance

“A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle” is one of the mottos of feminists who advocate for equality and refuse to shave their legs and wear stockings to please husbands and misogynists. In addition, such women tend to be frigid and asexual, they believe that men (for now) are needed, but only as sperm donors. Not too romantic, is it? But is that really true?

Stubborn statistics say otherwise: women who call themselves feminists are more likely than others to be in heterosexual ("feminist" does not mean "lesbian") romantic relationships. Contrary to popular belief, feminist women do not beat or humiliate their partners, on the contrary, they have a diverse sexual life and interpersonal harmony.

5. Couples who live a civil marriage are better prepared for family life

We long ago got rid of the misconception that before the wedding neither, and cohabitation is bad, but got another. Today it is believed that before combining the bonds of a legal marriage, it is a good idea to check each other and live for a couple of years without signing. Allegedly a sharp transition from dating to living together - this is the reason for frequent divorces, a love boat crashes against everyday life, while a "civil marriage" allows partners to wash themselves.

But according to researchers from the University of Denver, couples who lived together before marriage are more likely to return to the registry office to divorce, or simply dissatisfied with their married life. In other words, a man and a woman who decided to “play” in the family and test each other for strength will almost certainly break up, because if you think that there is something to check, then something is wrong in your relationship. For example, if your partner is drinking and yelling at you, it is useless to cohabit with him in the hope that he will change. In addition, psychologists believe that there is another trap:

Instead of seeing “civil marriage” as the beginning of life together, both men and women see it as just another stage in the relationship: “We’ve already started living together!” Girls also naively believe that in this way it will be easier for them to marry their betrothed, but, as practice shows, such pressure leads to other, exactly the opposite, results. So, perhaps for good reason, our grandparents believed that a family without a stamp in the passport is not a family: a legal marriage is a good foundation for joint farming and living in love and harmony.

Source:publy.ru

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