Psychological technique 10/10/10 will help to make a difficult decision Bashny.Net

No wonder grandmothers like to say: "Morning is wiser than evening." Indeed, there is an opinion that in any difficult situation you just have to go to bed. But what to do when you Wake up — is silent. If you need to make a difficult decision, and you are in some kind of trouble, follow the 10/10/10 rule.

It is easy to lose all hope, while facing unsolvable at first glance dilemma. Deconstructing the situation down by changing your attitude day in and day, you can bring yourself to the agony. Perhaps the worst enemy in resolving this internal conflict is a short-term emotion. It acts as a very unreliable adviser. When people share made in their lives are the worst solutions, they often refer to the fact that the choice was made in a fit of instinctual emotions: anger, passion, fear, greed. Our lives would be very different, if life was acted "Ctrl+Z", which would cancel the decisions taken.



But we are not slaves to their moods. Instinctive emotions tend to erode or even unravel. Therefore, folk wisdom recommends that in the case when you have to make an important decision, it is better to go to sleep. Good advice, by the way. It does not hurt to take note! Although many of the solutions of a dream is not enough. You need a special strategy.
One of the effective tools that we would like to offer you the strategy for success at work and in life from suzy Welch (Suzy Welch) is the former chief editor of Harvard Business Review, popular author, commentator and journalist. It's called 10/10/10, and implies making decisions through the prism of three different time frames:

— How will you treat it 10 minutes later?
What would you think about this decision 10 months later?
— What will be your reaction to this after 10 years?

Concentrating their attention on these terms, we distanciruemsa some distance from the problem by making our important decisions. Now consider the effect of this rule on the example.

Situation: Veronica has a boyfriend Kirill. They've been Dating for 9 months, but their relationship is difficult to name ideal. Veronica claims that Cyril is a great person, and in many ways he's exactly what she was looking for throughout life. However, she worries that their relationship is not moving forward. She is 30, she wants a family and children. An infinite amount of time to develop a relationship with Cyril, who is under 40, it does not. During these 9 months she never met with the daughter of Cyril from his first marriage, and in their couple and did not hear the coveted "I love you" neither the one nor the other.

The divorce was horrible. After that, Cyril decided to avoid serious relationships. In addition, it keeps your daughter away from her personal life. Veronica realizes that he's hurting, but she's also sad that such an important part of the life of her beloved is closed to her.

Veronica knows that Cyril does not like to rush into making decisions. But should it in this case myself to step up and say "I love you" first?

The girl was advised to use the 10/10/10 rule, and this is what came of it. Veronica asked, though right now she must decide — is it accepted Cyril in love on a weekend or not.

Question 1: How do you react to that decision after 10 minutes?

Answer: "I think I'd be worried, but at the same time proud that I took the risk and said it first."

Question 2: What would you think about your decision, if it has been 10 months?

Answer: "I don't think I will regret it after 10 months. No, I will not. I sincerely want this to work. Who does not risk, does not drink champagne!"

Question 3: How do you react to his decision 10 years later?

Answer: "Regardless of how you will react Cyril, after 10 years, the decision to confess his love first is unlikely to be of value. By this time, or we will be happy together, or I'm going to be in a relationship with someone else."

Mind you, the 10/10/10 rule works! As a result, we have a rather simple solution:

Veronica needs to take the initiative. She will be proud of you if you do this, and sincerely believes that you will not regret it, even if Kirill the end, nothing happens. But without a conscious analysis of the situation on the 10/10/10 rule the adoption of the important decisions seemed to her very difficult. Short-term emotions — fear, nervousness, and fear of rejection — were a distraction and deterrent factors.

What happened to Veronica after that — probably you are curious. She still said "I love you" first. In addition, she tried to do everything to change the situation, and stop feeling in limbo. Cyril didn't tell her you love her. But progress was in the face: he became closer to Veronica. The girl believes that he loves her, that he just needs more time to overcome your fear and admit the reciprocity of feelings. In her opinion, the chances that they will together reach 80%.

The 10/10/10 rule helps you to win the emotional playing field. Feelings that you are experiencing now, in this moment, seem intense and dramatic, and the future — on the contrary, vague. So the emotions experienced in the present, always in the foreground. Strategy 10/10/10 forces us to change the angle of his vision: consider the future point in time (e.g., 10 months) with the same point that you see in the present.

This method allows you to submit your short-term emotions in the future. It is not that you should ignore them. Often they even help get what you desire in a given situation. But you should not let emotions prevail over you.

Remember the contrast of emotions is necessary not only in life but also at work. For example, if you are deliberately avoiding a serious conversation with your boss, you let emotions get the better of you. If you think of the possibility of holding a conversation, after 10 minutes you will be nervous, but after 10 months — would you be pleased that I decided to take this conversation? Sigh of relief? Or will you feel proud?

What if you want to promote the work of a great employee and are going to offer him a raise whether you will doubt the correctness of his decision in 10 minutes, will you regret after 10 months (suddenly, other employees will feel slighted), and whether this increase is to have any value for your business after 10 years?

As you can see, the short term emotions do not always bring harm. The 10/10/10 rule suggests that consideration of emotions in the long run — is not the only true. It just proves that you experience short-term feelings can not stand at the head of the table when taking an important and responsible decisions.

source: intrigger.ru

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