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19 Techniques of psychological defense against manipulation
Several effective ways to block unwanted or inappropriate attempts to manipulate
If you are using the suggested further ways of psychological protection from intrusive and manipulative actions necessary to comply with the following conditions:
The clear wording of the speech.
A well-chosen tone.
Thoroughness in the response, which is achieved by keeping pauses before answering and deliberation response, treatment response in space.
Consider next the few effective ways to block unwanted or inappropriate attempts to manipulate.
1. Acceptance of infinite refinement technique
Used when the communication partner emotionally requires something or something accusing. In this case, find out how you can be more precise and more all that was happening to him, without entering into a dispute, an explanation or justification. Your partner may increase pressure, causing you to resist, but you have steadfastly keep to the person who wants to find out the opinions of others.
The ability to raise the question, which requires substantial and detailed answer, activates its own intellectual efforts. In order to ask a question or answer the question on the merits, it is necessary to consider, therefore, part of the energy of charge transfer from the emotional to the rational flow. In addition, it won the time that the partner spends thinking about the answer. Thus, asking clarifying questions, we get time and energy in order to keep the feelings overwhelm us.
2. Acceptance of Technology external consent or mist Guidance
This technique is particularly effective against unfair criticism or outright rudeness. Confident man apparently agrees, although it can not change its position. For example:
"What an unexpected idea! I'll think about it ... »;
"I think about how I account for this in the»;
"I think if it has to do with me»;
"Maybe ...»
3. Receiving a broken record technique
In response to the attack target formulates capacious phrase containing important information attacker. The phrase should be such that it can be repeated several times without breaking meaningfulness conversation. The phrase should be pronounced as the jammed plate, with the same intonation. The tone should not be a "metal" or "poison." This technique uses the old rule:
First tell them what they're going to say.
Then tell them what you're going to tell them.
Then tell them what you told them.
4. Acceptance of Technology professor of English
Partner correctly expresses doubt about the fact that the performance of anyone's claims did not violate his personal rights:
"George, could you speak a little slower and shorter sentences, so that I can translate more accurately?»
"I'm afraid not ... You see, talk fast and long sentences - it's part of my identity»
Possible answers:
"This is the subject of my belief»;
"If I do this, I will not, I»;
"This is not consistent with my view about myself».
Reception 5. Calm and alienation
Effective psihozaschita requires a certain psychological coldness and alienation. Anger, fear, anger, surprise, joy must be stopped before they will take concrete actions to psihozaschite. If such emotions is difficult to stop completely, then it should be more difficult and transform - anger and hatred transformed into sarcasm, fear and surprise - in alertness, joy - in irony and so on. If you get angry, or angry - you lose.
6. Acceptance of finding and connecting additional factors that could affect the situation
There is always a potential situational forces operating on us - whether it's time, people, social stereotypes, some parallel events. Maybe it will fit all arm ruled out of the situation, "adjusting" it for yourself. Someone planned communication at home? - Move it to the street! You try to work alone? - Raise the topic in the company! Change situational field so that it has become a stranger to the manipulator and created additional benefits for you.
7. Acceptance of preliminary training in a foreign field.
Periodically practice is atypical behaviors - to break its usual role and personal image. On the one hand it increases the degree of freedom of behavior, on the other - makes you less predictable.
Reception 8. Do not take someone else's evaluation of the situation
If you took someone's assessment of the situation and started to plan some actions in accordance with this assessment - got his arm. We should not only reject the wrong situational framework, but also offers its own assessment of the situation. Your freedom from imposed somebody framework may begin with the phrase: "And now let me tell you how I see it all ..." - and then it is already possible to draw a picture of the situational point favorable for you.
Admission 9. If possible, do not take the obligations imposed on you from outside
It is better to suffer short-term losses in money, time and power than to take to fulfill outwardly uncritical commitment to you that are imposed from the outside. We must proceed from the fact that it is important first and foremost a commitment to.
Reception 10. The ability to change the relationship
It must be remembered that any interpersonal situation is reversible: it is always possible to step back from any interpersonal situation and say controls and manipulates (be it boss, spouse (s), policies, and so forth.) "I can continue to live without your love, friendship, location, poor circulation, even if that life will be difficult for me - as long as you do not stop doing A and B do not start ».
Reception 11. Avoid mindless action provoked
If someone insists that something was done "immediately", you should never agree with it at once. For starters take the time to think about the situation and provide further information. It should also insist on a clear explanation. Weak explanations are signs of fraud or lack of knowledge of the alleged informed interlocutor.
Reception 12. Critical perception of the situational requirements
It is critical to approach any situational requirements, no matter how trivial they may seem: role relationships and rules are always to be understood, but not always - be taken. Group rituals, slogans, duties and obligations - all this for some reason, you need someone. Claims arising from the situation is not always binding.
13. Acceptance of life almost never simple solutions
If someone speaks of "simple solutions" your difficult personal, social and political problems, it is most likely not true.
Reception 14. There is no instant "affection»
There is no such thing as a sudden and unconditional love, trust and friendship from strangers. Friendship and trust are always evolving with the times and usually include interchange, overcoming and complicity -te preliminary work on both sides. So "sudden love" and "suddenly arose" friendship are likely to be the situational background that creates a manipulator to better influence for you.
15. Reception Office itself from all
Avoid "total situations" when turning and indicate "all", not you personally. In such situations, very little personal control and freedom, so should immediately define the boundaries of their own autonomy and to be sure to prepare the psychological and physical ways to escape.
16. Receive your mistakes - your problem
Seek immediately recognize the symptoms of "guilt" you provoked someone, and never act on the basis of the motive of guilt. Mistakes are inevitable, but it is - your mistakes. So do not rush to correct errors in the way that you have not planned.
Reception 17. In every situation, there is something new
Be careful what you do in a "typical situation". You can not let the current habits and standard procedure to force you to act thoughtlessly - after each successive "typical situation" is always a little different, but your action template can always use due to their high predictability.
18. Admission does not bind itself past behavior
When someone mentions your "reliability" - is always alert. After all, there is absolutely no need to maintain the correspondence between your actions at different times - and you, and the situation can change. Therefore, the status of "reliable" always some false, since it involves some kind of action and reaction, do not depend on the situation and on the status of the "reliability". It is much preferable to the status of "adequate to the situation».
Reception 19. contrived - act!
It is not enough just to understand that there has been manipulation - you should always be prepared to openly disobey, to defend, to defy and endure the consequences of such behavior.
Andpey Nikolaevich Calov,
Candidate of Economic Sciences
If you are using the suggested further ways of psychological protection from intrusive and manipulative actions necessary to comply with the following conditions:
The clear wording of the speech.
A well-chosen tone.
Thoroughness in the response, which is achieved by keeping pauses before answering and deliberation response, treatment response in space.
Consider next the few effective ways to block unwanted or inappropriate attempts to manipulate.
1. Acceptance of infinite refinement technique
Used when the communication partner emotionally requires something or something accusing. In this case, find out how you can be more precise and more all that was happening to him, without entering into a dispute, an explanation or justification. Your partner may increase pressure, causing you to resist, but you have steadfastly keep to the person who wants to find out the opinions of others.
The ability to raise the question, which requires substantial and detailed answer, activates its own intellectual efforts. In order to ask a question or answer the question on the merits, it is necessary to consider, therefore, part of the energy of charge transfer from the emotional to the rational flow. In addition, it won the time that the partner spends thinking about the answer. Thus, asking clarifying questions, we get time and energy in order to keep the feelings overwhelm us.
2. Acceptance of Technology external consent or mist Guidance
This technique is particularly effective against unfair criticism or outright rudeness. Confident man apparently agrees, although it can not change its position. For example:
"What an unexpected idea! I'll think about it ... »;
"I think about how I account for this in the»;
"I think if it has to do with me»;
"Maybe ...»
3. Receiving a broken record technique
In response to the attack target formulates capacious phrase containing important information attacker. The phrase should be such that it can be repeated several times without breaking meaningfulness conversation. The phrase should be pronounced as the jammed plate, with the same intonation. The tone should not be a "metal" or "poison." This technique uses the old rule:
First tell them what they're going to say.
Then tell them what you're going to tell them.
Then tell them what you told them.
4. Acceptance of Technology professor of English
Partner correctly expresses doubt about the fact that the performance of anyone's claims did not violate his personal rights:
"George, could you speak a little slower and shorter sentences, so that I can translate more accurately?»
"I'm afraid not ... You see, talk fast and long sentences - it's part of my identity»
Possible answers:
"This is the subject of my belief»;
"If I do this, I will not, I»;
"This is not consistent with my view about myself».
Reception 5. Calm and alienation
Effective psihozaschita requires a certain psychological coldness and alienation. Anger, fear, anger, surprise, joy must be stopped before they will take concrete actions to psihozaschite. If such emotions is difficult to stop completely, then it should be more difficult and transform - anger and hatred transformed into sarcasm, fear and surprise - in alertness, joy - in irony and so on. If you get angry, or angry - you lose.
6. Acceptance of finding and connecting additional factors that could affect the situation
There is always a potential situational forces operating on us - whether it's time, people, social stereotypes, some parallel events. Maybe it will fit all arm ruled out of the situation, "adjusting" it for yourself. Someone planned communication at home? - Move it to the street! You try to work alone? - Raise the topic in the company! Change situational field so that it has become a stranger to the manipulator and created additional benefits for you.
7. Acceptance of preliminary training in a foreign field.
Periodically practice is atypical behaviors - to break its usual role and personal image. On the one hand it increases the degree of freedom of behavior, on the other - makes you less predictable.
Reception 8. Do not take someone else's evaluation of the situation
If you took someone's assessment of the situation and started to plan some actions in accordance with this assessment - got his arm. We should not only reject the wrong situational framework, but also offers its own assessment of the situation. Your freedom from imposed somebody framework may begin with the phrase: "And now let me tell you how I see it all ..." - and then it is already possible to draw a picture of the situational point favorable for you.
Admission 9. If possible, do not take the obligations imposed on you from outside
It is better to suffer short-term losses in money, time and power than to take to fulfill outwardly uncritical commitment to you that are imposed from the outside. We must proceed from the fact that it is important first and foremost a commitment to.
Reception 10. The ability to change the relationship
It must be remembered that any interpersonal situation is reversible: it is always possible to step back from any interpersonal situation and say controls and manipulates (be it boss, spouse (s), policies, and so forth.) "I can continue to live without your love, friendship, location, poor circulation, even if that life will be difficult for me - as long as you do not stop doing A and B do not start ».
Reception 11. Avoid mindless action provoked
If someone insists that something was done "immediately", you should never agree with it at once. For starters take the time to think about the situation and provide further information. It should also insist on a clear explanation. Weak explanations are signs of fraud or lack of knowledge of the alleged informed interlocutor.
Reception 12. Critical perception of the situational requirements
It is critical to approach any situational requirements, no matter how trivial they may seem: role relationships and rules are always to be understood, but not always - be taken. Group rituals, slogans, duties and obligations - all this for some reason, you need someone. Claims arising from the situation is not always binding.
13. Acceptance of life almost never simple solutions
If someone speaks of "simple solutions" your difficult personal, social and political problems, it is most likely not true.
Reception 14. There is no instant "affection»
There is no such thing as a sudden and unconditional love, trust and friendship from strangers. Friendship and trust are always evolving with the times and usually include interchange, overcoming and complicity -te preliminary work on both sides. So "sudden love" and "suddenly arose" friendship are likely to be the situational background that creates a manipulator to better influence for you.
15. Reception Office itself from all
Avoid "total situations" when turning and indicate "all", not you personally. In such situations, very little personal control and freedom, so should immediately define the boundaries of their own autonomy and to be sure to prepare the psychological and physical ways to escape.
16. Receive your mistakes - your problem
Seek immediately recognize the symptoms of "guilt" you provoked someone, and never act on the basis of the motive of guilt. Mistakes are inevitable, but it is - your mistakes. So do not rush to correct errors in the way that you have not planned.
Reception 17. In every situation, there is something new
Be careful what you do in a "typical situation". You can not let the current habits and standard procedure to force you to act thoughtlessly - after each successive "typical situation" is always a little different, but your action template can always use due to their high predictability.
18. Admission does not bind itself past behavior
When someone mentions your "reliability" - is always alert. After all, there is absolutely no need to maintain the correspondence between your actions at different times - and you, and the situation can change. Therefore, the status of "reliable" always some false, since it involves some kind of action and reaction, do not depend on the situation and on the status of the "reliability". It is much preferable to the status of "adequate to the situation».
Reception 19. contrived - act!
It is not enough just to understand that there has been manipulation - you should always be prepared to openly disobey, to defend, to defy and endure the consequences of such behavior.
Andpey Nikolaevich Calov,
Candidate of Economic Sciences
