The starting point is the bottom

If you start to analyze and compare stories of successful people, inspiring and motivating others to live, you will notice one thing in common: most of them the starting point of the ascent was kind of difficult situation that led to the realization of great personal crisis.

Someone was on the verge of death, someone went bankrupt, someone has lost a loved one or was seriously ill. They all at some point left without any possibility to continue a normal life. And only when each of them fell low enough to look only from below upwards, they questioned their fundamental attitudes. And only then began their rapid life.

Unfortunately, most of us are aware of the need for a big change until you get into a situation leaving us no choice. And I'm no exception.

This is a personal story of my descent to the bottom.

DeclinePerhaps, I will begin the story of his crisis: it all started with the daily increasing fatigue.

At the time I was about a year worked in an IT company head of developers. I was among the first and I liked picking the right people, establish traditions, and solve collective and personal tasks. And all I got.

To try myself in this position and to develop accompanying quality was my goal when applying for a job. In a year when the team was assembled, rules are set and the process is adjusted, I slowly started getting more and more tired, and then increasingly ill.

I had to admit to myself that I lose interest in work, because I have come to the objectives set initially. I was tired not from work but from a lack of inspiring goals in it.

Following half a year was my crisis in targeting. I just couldn't find that goal in the work that I would be inspired. I continued to work, trying to do their job flawlessly. But I already drew strength not from enthusiasm, but from the reserves of your body.

So after a few months, I was already on "you" with chronic morning fatigue, lack of sleep, headaches, chronic bronchitis and the regular problems with the spine.

At the end of my life I decided to quietly prepare his departure and to leave. Which he did after some time.

...Meanwhile...I have to admit that the crisis was not only in the work. By the time I have a few years as divorced and lived alone. After several attempts to establish a relationship, was forced to admit that he is unable mentally to open up even the most worthy of candidates. And carrying for him its not end the experiences of the past, I can't be sincere in the present.

So, I resolutely refused even attempts in this direction, fully plunged into the work.

The developments on the work front you already know. I will continue from the time of dismissal. No, a little earlier time.

Before leaving work I started looking for a way out of the situation, already knowing that I needed a radical life change. And at this time, as if in answer to my inquiry, I met a man that such changes have brought into my life.

Master, I began to do a martial art. Not in its modern sense. No. It was not the classes pass in a comfortable room a few times a week. We did not, there were the trendy Eastern terms, hierarchies and titles, competitions and incentives. That's another story.

True Masters in this genre don't really light up (figuratively). There are many reasons, which understand only with time.

Discipleship to him meant primarily a spiritual development, and martial art – like path.

Under his leadership, a small group of people engaged in daily. On the street. In any weather. On the same schedule. With the same resolute attitude. It was a tough exercise, standing meditation, energy, technique-hand combat and the classical weapons possession.

I'm not going to tell you a lot about trainings and Master. Let me just say that this is a very peculiar man. Stereotypes about the spiritual Masters do not really tally his way. A normal person would never recognize such a Master, without his desire. Such people walk among us and seem unremarkable. But... to put it mildly, not so.

At first it was hard for me. Everyone in the group knew that the newcomers do not stay long and all the sidelong glances at me, wondering when I was gonna lose it. I was resolute and hell to which, usually, newcomers fell, I was passed.

But still the Master kept me at a distance.

It is necessary to explain. The approach was the following: do you train and gain strength. Master is helping you. When he sees that the strength in you is enough to defeat one of his weaknesses, he gives her a way out.

If you withstand provocation without reacting — you're getting stronger and closer to the Master and to himself. And it's not about external reactions. The calm appearance of the Master is not fooled. He sees the change in energy, and the external imitation of his disciples are not interested. If you react to the provocation — Master steps back and gives you time to rehab.

And until such a scenario still needs to grow. This is a delicate moment. After all, if you react negatively to the provocation of the Wizard — make sure you get out of ago.

Master is serology of us is like a mirror, reflecting the world. But the Master – the mirror clean. Everything sent in his direction rather quickly returned. Sent negative — get it back. And don't be surprised if it will be increased.

So the first time the Master triggers indirectly or through other students. So he saves disciples from their own stupidity. Because at first the student does not even notice their mistakes.

I continued to train.

About goalAround the time I quit my job, rested a month, he paid more attention to exercise and health, a little regained strength and began to think about how to begin to work on yourself. Not providing services as a freelancer and developing a product that would bring me passive income.

The idea was good. I had a supply of money for 4-5 months and I took a chance by starting independent development of computer games.

About my dismissal and new endeavor, none of the relatives did not know. I didn't want to disturb family with unnecessary thoughts, and their questions and concerns.

So once again I settle down to work. The area was largely new to me, and the process is only partly familiar. I gradually studied the subject and was engaged in the creative part of the game, finally remembering that I can draw.

It was a good period — there was enthusiasm, my health grew, the results in training too.

However all this was short-lived.

I originally made some big mistakes, embarking on a new business. The classic mistakes. First I put on the scales all they had, having no insurance, living in a rented apartment and not enlisting the support of loved ones. Also in terms of loneliness.

This inevitably leads to gradually increasing stress and overstatement of the importance of the business started.

The second I entered a new business planning distant and successful future in several areas. My penchant for perfectionism and global vision often plays in my favor. I was with the wrong tools and the wrong spread his forces.

Third, and most important – I didn't bother to sincerely answer the question: why do I need this the most passive income you need? Why do I need money?

The crashI was involved in the work and gradually it has taken a dominant role in my life, consuming most of my energy and attention. And then, quietly, through the back door, into my life entered and hid in a dark corner stress. He was waiting for when I give up the slack. And I didn't force him to wait long.

By the middle of the project, assessing the situation, I doubt if I have time in time. And doubt grew like a snowball down the mountain.

I became less effective at training and meditation, because I just couldn't let go of thoughts about the project, about their unclear future and not the forgotten past.

Health began to deteriorate again. I started to get back old diseases. The enthusiasm was gone and I just forced myself to work on willpower.

I was between stress at work, a succession of doctors and provocations on the workouts that I often failed.

The list of diseases was added to cholecystitis and pancreatitis and the beginning of winter, I found that my feet began to freeze, even in the ambient heat. Then I was forced to stop working out.

By the time I had not met in the pessimistic terms of the project. Was quite a bit of work, but I was just not able to do anything. My financial reserves are exhausted, and the body deemed me incompetent exploiters, completely refusing to work for me and, apparently, filing for me in some of the Supreme court.

It was the collapse.

At the bottomI was floundering in the river of life, spraying their hand until they are fully dried up.

Exhausted, I sank to the bottom, leaving where-that there, on the surface, their hopes, plans, ambitions and identities. And the moment I touched bottom, I felt a deep relaxation which I have not felt in a very long time.

I'll tell you something completely obvious, but somehow most of us unclear:

The point at which we are is always the point in which we were headed.And there, at the bottom, it was all clear. I was looking at reflections of light on the surface of the life of the river and grinned to how the person manages to waste my precious life on fleeting reflections of light.

I had an ease, and with it the undercurrents carefully lifted me and carried to new shores.

The echo of the old daysWith the bottom visible only rise.When you lose everything, what is there to fear?If you decide to wait for your crisis to act, then I say this: sooner or later survive the crisis, but only few understand that the crisis inside of them. And he's been there for a long time.P.S. I have shared this story in the future to refer to it anyone who is actions will whine and complain about their health, circumstances, fate or something else.

P. P. S. About the Wizard, please do not ask.

P. P. P. S. Well, the next entries will be about the rise.

P. P. P. P. S. Inspiration to you:)

Source: alter-world.net/2013/09/06/otpravnaya-tochka-dno/