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© Anna Radchenko About the Octomom's sons we successfully talked, now go through Mama's daughters. About this phenomenon I write not so much whether men do not have the habit to complain and just silently leave, whether because the mother and daughter "play" with different attitudes and different values. If a woman to say that her son is a sissy, she's probably offended. But if her daughter called Mama's daughter, it will be perceived as a compliment. Interesting, isn't it? And all because default implies that a man should be independent, and woman — flexible and must be subordinate. And even the Bible passes this point side: if men are given specific instructions to leave parents and cleave to his wife, the woman of the order do not receive then they somehow and not necessarily to break away from the parental nest.

The well known saying about two Housewives in one kitchen and two bears in one den. Women are harder to get along together, and in the minds of every girl has a God given vector: to create a family, give birth to their children, to get to your kitchen and hang on the Windows of your curtains. But any attempt to become independent — and in the back is flying a desperate cry of a mother: "Without me?! Not let!!!»

Mama's daughters, as in the case of sissies, raise unhappy family life of women. And in some families formed the dynasties Mama's daughters, each of which cultivates his own daughter. And exactly the same as in the case of men, Mama's daughter determines the dependence on the mother. Method of education — directiveness. Any expression with daughter own opinion immediately suppressed, because "mother knows best, and you have more experience there." This phrase daughter will hear in 10, 20, 40 years, and if the mother will survive, and 60. My daughter always still lack experience, regardless of age.

My daughter's mother are at the mercy of various fears. One of the ways to get rid of fears, total control over everything that you are subject to. If I control, then everything will be as I need. With the birth of the daughters of these mothers in captivity phobias: a month afraid that her daughter did not sadusees diapers, in 5 years — as if it wasn't stolen, at 15 I was raped at 20 I cheated some smoothie in 30 I gave birth without a husband, to 40 — as I hadn't left, not left home... Hence strict control of every glance, every thought. It to be just like mom wants.

The relationship between mother and daughter will develop in one of two scenarios:

If the mother is clever, delicate and clever woman, then she can force a daughter myself affection. In such a tandem would be the perfect pink atmosphere, mother and daughter are "best friends", inseparable, and no men do not need them. The mother raises ally in the Holy cause of the confrontation "gross hairy creature" — men. Honey, of course, is going to marry, as expected, no civil marriages, veil, limousine, and the white doves, but only in order to conceive a baby, and "grow themselves somehow".

Son-in-law usually expelled from the family after the baby is born. Mother does not deny the possibility of personal growth of her daughter, with her blessings, "he" can even make a career, but one that will not destroy their Union. Daughter usually does not feel oppressed, gladly follows the instructions of his mother, believing that it is the guiding thread which will lead her to happiness.

If the mother is a woman too assertive, the bulldozer in the skirt, suppresses the daughter roughly in the style of "fist on the table", then between her and the daughter will develop severe pathological relationship, the mix of dependence and hatred. Her daughter hardly manage to get married even at the time, because the vigilant mother protects the daughter with the zeal of Cerberus. The mother denies any opportunity for personal growth for my daughter, and one of these families daughters, if getting a higher education, to work to get low-paid unskilled jobs, if only to be near his mother, who had already "seriously ill and needs care".

But in both cases the trend is clear: Mama's daughter may adore or hate his mother, but she is unable to exist without it any long time. Even making an attempt to leave, perhaps to go to another city or even another country, it will still come back under the maternal wing. This is particularly evident in those families where the mother and daughter relationships are hard: they may hate each other (daughter — for a gross invasion of privacy, and the mother over the "ingratitude"), they may not subside scandals and even happen brawl, but the daughter, like a faithful dog, all his life will hold the feet of the mother, carrying the whole merciless criticism, humiliation and insults.

Mommy's girl is a sacrificial woman, rejecting all personal for mom that "so many did for her". No private life, no personal interests, no skiing in winter Park or the premiere of the movie — because "mother". Such women usually devote their energy in what's called a "rich inner world". They may have a deep knowledge in quantum physics, to be connoisseurs of English poetry or French painting, but, alas, their encyclopedic knowledge remain unclaimed.

But in General there is a significant difference in the self-perception of dependent daughters and sons: if Mama's sons see themselves pupami earth, mom-and-daughter feel like a servant, that "all must", and especially his mother. And now we are close to a very interesting point: what if Mama's boy and mommy's girl? What is the future of such a marriage?

The prospects of such a marriage is, and they lie in the peculiarities of the psyche of the partners. If you remember, the type of Mama's daughters is a sacrifice and docility, while the type of a sissy — tyranny. Mommy's girl lives with the belief that her destiny — to serve, sissy — that should serve him. Thus, in a couple Mama's boy -Mama's daughter will be the type of bdsm, and this kind of relationship is one of the most stable (remember that resistant does not mean happy).

Even if mutual interference of the mother-in-law such a marriage can last quite a long time. My husband will be idle and humiliate the wife and the wife will be selfless to wield a hammer, mixer, saw and the dignity to endure the bad treatment from the husband. Both will run each to his mother to complain about the heavy sudbinushku. Such a marriage ceases to be in the moment when one of the partners ceases to play its role of either wife no longer wants to "rotten to the scoundrel," or husband suddenly miraculously take his head and begin to perform their duties towards family. Once the pattern is broken, the second becomes interesting, and with the phrase "mom was right" the couple run away to their mothers.
How to stop being a Mama's daughter? The fact that the person was thinking about it, already 50 percent of the victory; those who does not think about it, sampling is not necessary. Now we have to have the courage to step into a new life. The best option is to purchase a separate housing to finally begin to live as you see fit, where there are mom's tips and moaning lamentations: "Well, I wish good!"But when he left in independent swimming, mommy's girl must have the determination to cut off all the ropes at once.

Some places will have to cross through tantrums and insults my mom. If a woman seriously intends to start an independent life, then she needs to do without panic in the soul ("How my mother survive this?!"), without the gnawing guilt, but with the attitude of "I'm an adult independent person. I want to live my life the way I want." Communication with the mother will have to reduce, although this is hard to do — first, because of habit, secondly because of the fact that my mother will be phoning seven times a day and demand report for every breath. You can't succumb to speculation of health, sense of guilt, a subsidiary of the debt. The worst that can happen — if the heart will tremble and runaway with a guilty look back. It's safe to say that every such return will trigger a new round of dictatorship: "did I tell you?! Where are you without a mother?»

Better to endure all the difficulties pereginets, the new rhythm of life will be involved, will learn to build a relationship with my mother in new ways. Yes, it is offensive and painful for the mother, but treatment is rarely pleasant, but addiction is a disease. Maybe, both women will have to go to a psychologist. The main thing — to pursue this goal and to remember that man forges his own happiness. It happens that when changing daughter, along with the changes and the mother, finally realizing that "he" grew, and in life, there are many other interesting things. published 

Author: Lily Malakhov

 

Source: www.matrony.ru/mamockina-docya/