Not tame each other! Bashny.Net

While we have not yet learned 100% of the time to love each other, enlightened by love, often of the sincerity of the pair falls in different games that are not always humane: game two egos, the fight pride one with the true nature of another, then in the opposite direction... Can call your "true nature", I mean the strong, clean, wise initially, the energy inside each of us that moves to compassion, ability to listen but also to listen — she did not tolerate humiliation, rebels against oppression, even when it gets very subtle, implicit forms. For example, such.

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For centuries, man ensures survival, creates and maintains status. But inevitably drawn to the woman — to all those acquired by the status form filled out: home, b & b, soup bowls... maybe farther, deeper night, a pause in the monologue, heart. A man falls in love with female brightness, mind, emotion, unusual interests — something that reflects its essence. He wants her in his life. Doing the appropriate steps. But then the picture can turn less optimistic: already being in a relationship, a partner starts to systematically devalue (or at least try to) that it once drew: now the woman allegedly too loves to show off, but she's such a silly thing, but still emotionally unstable, to the same interest in her, funny... Sarcastic remarks one after the other — for weeks, months, years. And she gradually begins to believe it. Loses contact with his nature, his wisdom and power, refuses to hear their feelings (and they shout don't let treat you like that!) ceases to hunch. When I hear the saying "to marry — not to attack, only to get married abyss", remember this scenario. A woman becomes comfortable — where this gets away with it. It flatters the pride of man — its background (confused, not having an inner support, afraid to lose a loved one, trying to anticipate his desires), he looks even stronger, smarter, faster!

But what we conveniently apriori does not contain a challenge. And there is no challenge, no puzzles, it becomes boring. Needless to say, what happens next, right? And it's not that "man is by nature a hunter." We all need novelty. And it can be a single life partner, but the ever-renewing people, renewing his forever partner, and therefore ever-renewing relationship — very much bold adventure, promising a lot of inner work, and for this you need to Mature and often this maturation occurs not with the first nor with the second lover.

Pictures from life show that women are less likely to devalue their men, only in a different way: turning them into hulking creatures that have to anything, especially not strive just don't care and only care about having their "once again pulled". As a result, these women, their husbands almost no longer interested in men.
Recently I read Stephen Covey's "7 habits of highly effective families" — there are things controversial, there are obvious, not all to the letter I would apply in my family, but I was very hooked on one idea. Today (not in words but in deeds) many of us are more interested in career than family, but not because of the difficulties of the financial order, and due to the fact that there is a reward system, team spirit, evident results of operations. It gives you a sense of its value. The house is quite an ordinary are the hits, the criticism, ridicule. And if you can't share something meaningful to you with family and friends, fearing once again to meet with them devalues the relationship, begin to share it all out. Before close become more distant. Although the habit of coming home in the evening can stay. But the fee for the affirmation is as follows — the loss of trust.

Of course, the movement takes place on both sides: that someone was "depressed", you need to have it in one form or another, he agreed to it. And agree easy, because it's safer. Not to set boundaries, to live a conflict, stand quietly in the Harbor. The harbour is good. But the ship is not built for this. Clash with similar lessons in the family is associated first and foremost with self-respect and fearlessness. Attempts to devalue and tame coming from our desire to assert themselves and/or fear of losing a partner. But if we have good contact with them, we will most likely do what you love, then self-affirmation at the expense of others simply is not needed. As for the fear of losing a partner — Yes, here, it may make sense to work with a psychologist or on your own, because most of us on this topic a lot of stretches from my childhood and relationship experiences with parents. However, the source may be all the same, the issue of self-worth: "What I'm going to introduce...?".

I like to say: in the wilderness is our unique beauty, strength and inner truth. In the wilderness — like contact with their values, interests, inspiring goals and activities. And if it doesn't sacrifice trying to be "good", "comfortable", "safe" for his partner, he too will have to learn to reckon with it, and so, with love and attention to contact their own inner truth, not ego, to heal their injuries.
So — don't get comfortable. Not tame your partner. Always appreciate that savage, that you got. Himself and the other.published 

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©

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