I'm a grandmother. Been a little over three years. And I love my granddaughter Eva, and ready to see her a zillion times a week. To commit outrages, to play hide and seek, build towers, drop a Christmas tree and laugh as you can laugh only her. More often we see each other on Skype, and when I go to the kids, I was bursting with an obsession that girl could me to forget, to forget, and treated like a stranger. Because of the understandable desire to fly and to fill all of its space. BUT!
I understand that my number two. Originally always. Number one is mom and dad. Point. It has nothing to do with love – love her as much as a son, as his wife Anya.
My number two is common sense, if I want the children to be happy.
My number two is a way to avoid the kind of competition for the love of eve.
My number two is understanding that the girl came into this world not for the fact that I corrected the errors in the education of their own child and blessed me.
My number two is the adoption of the approaches of children upbringing of their own child, and not the imposition of its "priceless" experience.
Of course, grandma is the most experienced moms. But they shouldn't forget that young moms and dads this experience will not fall on his head. Ask – answer, show, teach. They go their own way? Great! Look, ask, learn. Life has changed a lot. I was taught to feed the baby cream of wheat, be sure to serve bread, within two years, will him not to go to sleep nursing. Eva travels with her parents and usypal lying in bed a quiet lullaby Anya or reading fairy tales son.
Being number two does not mean eliminated. It indicates only the degree of influence of grandmothers on child's life. I'm always ready to be there, but without imposing their decisions about the education of girls, not eclipsing the importance of parents and realizing that the main caregiver is.
In addition, I understand how IMPORTANT it is to agree on which rules I won't break under any circumstances: how to feed a baby how to speak, how to dress, when to sleep, what to punish and encouraged. After all, most of the time child spend with mom and dad. So no need to disturb them. And every adult needs to consciously accept what you are discussing.
I know that everyone need to be consistent: if the mother something forbids, the grandmother should not quietly allow. I always remember that children appreciate my help. I also understand that it cannot hurt: in the family there must be peace and tranquility, and good relations between us all.
When I see Eva runs to greet mom or dad and hangs on them, completely forgetting about me, I quietly rejoice. For their love, care, affection, give her a sense of security, relieve irrational fears in the future, to form an adequate self-esteem and confidence, encourage creativity, programming for success.
Sometimes, in the family, something goes wrong: nervousness between the grandparents and the parents, the child has not been responding to any of you, crying when some of you out... Sit down and talk. Discuss your approaches. Tell us what you like and what you never take. Agree on rules of engagement. I do not discover America. It's obvious. However, most people are silent and farther removed from each other.published Lyudmila Shepeleva
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©