How to understand that Your child being bullied in school, if he is silent? Bashny.Net

Even if you have the most trusting relationship with the child, things he will not say never. For example, at school it hurt the children or the teacher. Why?

Thinks himself is to blame for what is happening. Learned hard that a Snitch is ashamed and does not understand when the situation is so dangerous that it is time to call for help. Ashamed that he can not control the situation. Believes that nothing can be done, and doesn't want to upset the mother in vain. Finally, he can be blackmailed by something, in his opinion, so parents will turn on him.

Children's bullying, however, is a thing that should not be ignored. In the best case it will “cost” long-term stress and psychological trauma. But, feeling of impunity and right (the same can not be wrong the whole class, right?) children diverge more and sometimes reach up to criminal offences. So it is important to notice the dangerous situation .





Signs that we should guard

The child withdraws, becoming more dark, tense, aggressive. There is no meaning attributed to “transitional age”. Even in the age of transition from the long period of depressed mood or persistent irritation is the real cause. Optional, of course, conflict with other children or a teacher – maybe it's you personally the child space to give less or Chad unrequited love. In any case, pay attention.

The child is constantly looking for reasons not to go to school. Normal kids see the shore and carefully use pretexts to skip classes, and then on week two day headache two days heel, and another day the signs of impending death are found. When you fail to evade legal, the child may begin to skip or seriously late to the start of classes.

Out of school almost always comes to a child not his own, then pale, then red, then with a random bruise. Jackets and school uniform is constantly tearing, things are always lost, satchel constantly turns into a dust bag... Noticed how many times there repeated the word “constantly”? It is the key. From time to time to lose a sneaker or fall down the stairs with the nose forward. The nuance is in how often it occurs.

At school things may appear strange, obscene or abusive inscriptions, the tutorial is always a neat child in the early years pririsoval ballpoint pen horns and a mustache all the portraits, notebooks and then spoiled idiotic sweeping patterns.

Sharply decreased school performance. Even the most beloved items two and three. The child is not drawn to doing homework is not the word. The child does little to pull. Closes in the room or area will vibrate and silent or in a tablet stares. Forced to sit on the notebooks – just be staring at a blank sheet. What he thinks is unclear.

Younger students may lose appetite, appear enuresis. Teenagers can be sloppy to the extreme. If a teenager “writing”, it is possible to detect a recurring story (novels, comics) that the main character being bullied. A case where a girl wrote this story in the essay on the free theme... But this cry for help nobody noticed.

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How to bring child to talk?

To drop the phrase in the spirit: “What, you act like you do in school do not want to go! Maybe you want another go?” After some time the child approached with the question whether it is possible really to take and to change schools? Bingo. In this school the child being bullied. Probably better really translate to another, and go to the clinic to see a child psychologist. Let them chat without my mom. To begin with.

To see a movie where a child has to resist the persecution. “Scarecrow” too the forehead and depressing. “The sixth sense” – excellent ride under the guise of a horror film (not to forget to mutter at key moments: “those bastards of young”). “Telekinesis” – similar to adolescents. “Cyberterror” with Maisie Williams will make the child wonder if the child was a victim of blackmail. Mean girls – a Comedy which also deals with the question of persecution, “the Good son” and “Child of darkness” – a Thriller about how monsters escape punishment and that in the end the parents know the truth and stand on the side of hurt. Perfect and the movie “Speak”, but “Class” and “Finale” lay aside very heavy on fresh wounds.

To entice the child to do something together – even a ravioli mold, though the decoration from the paper to the glue. Talk – not vystrelival, and tell me something. About favorite books. About how with my dad on a fishing trip went, and what came of it. A terrible story, just as you are angry dog or drunken chased down the street. And by the way, remember the story of how one of your girlfriend at camp bullied at school. Or school friend blackmailed indecent photos she sklopu made or it was made to do by force. Or you're not realizing what they are doing, got involved in the persecution or even the beginning of it...

Speak with unequivocal condemnation to those who are poison (even if it was silly you're young) and the equally unambiguous sympathy to someone who's poisoned. Don't do the views full of hints, do not ask leading questions. Then just go to another topic more easily. Let me get this straight. Very likely the child himself he'll come to you, or to ask again about the history of bullying/blackmail, or have to tell their story. published

 

Author: Lilith Mazikina

 

P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©

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