I regret the old men on the threshold of eternity Bashny.Net

A few years along with other Orthodox volunteers I helped lonely elderly. Today, I even hard to say who got this benefit more, me or those grandparents whose last days on this earth I tried to make safer and easier. I can confidently say that my hierarchy of values after contact with dying elderly has changed dramatically. Much of what seemed in the life of the chief, went to the second and third plan. Because almost all grandparents with whom I happened to talk with one voice complain that:

 

1. They gave birth to too few children.

Today we are afraid to recognize that the main method of "family planning" in Soviet times, had abortions, and there are many of today's grandmothers who were going to call it different euphemisms infanticide ten, twenty or more times.



"Sweetheart, where is the baby crying? I hear all the time cry baby", constantly complained to me one bedridden grandma. She didn't believe me when I said that I had no baby nearby. To hear the cry of a child was an old woman so unbearable that one day, left alone, she touches someone had left on the nightstand of scissors and cut myself on both hands wrists. In the morning grandma found in the pretty, blood stained bed and managed to save. Fortunately, the scissors were blunt, but what was needed was the will to death to this barbaric tool to tear your wrist!

"I had an abortion. A lot of abortions, eight. I don't want to live. I can't apologize enough," cried the grandmother.

After a suicide attempt, she wished to confess. Come young monk, listened to the grandmother without a single emotion, read the prayer of absolution... it's just such a priest was needed — without further ADO, "AZ same are am a witness". Then grandma was anointed, and for the first time in many years, she fell asleep quietly in the smells of incense and unrefined sunflower oil.

After confession and Holy unction the voices of the babies she no longer heard.

Similar stories of repentance in the sins of infanticide, before I die, I can tell many, but for the unborn children regret not only by those who had abortions. Regret and those who did not conceive children, predohranyayas some other, naborting way.

"You know, Anya, I'm so sorry that we did not gave birth to a daughter a little brother or sister. We lived in a communal apartment, five of us in one room with my parents. And I thought — well, where another child, where? And this is sleeping in the corner on the trunk, because even cots to put anywhere. And then my husband at the service line allocated apartment. And then two more. But age was not the one to give birth".

"Now I think: well, that's why I even gave birth to five? It was all: husband is a good, reliable earner, "stone wall." The work was, kindergarten, school, circles... All would be raised, lifted up, life arranged. And we just lived like everyone else: we all have one child and we let it be one."

"I saw how my husband's treating a puppy, and thought — but is it unspent fatherly feelings. His love for ten would be enough, and I gave birth to only one..."

 2. They worked too hard.

The second point is often linked with the first — a grandmother's recollect, that in his youth had abortions out of fear of losing their jobs, qualifications, experience. In old age, looking at my life, they simply aren't able to make why this work was held — often unskilled, low-prestige, dull, heavy, low-paid.

"I worked as a storekeeper. So uptight all the time — suddenly the shortage will discover, I will write, then, court, prison. And now think: why work? The husband has a good salary was. But just everything worked and I am too."

"Thirty years I worked in the chemical laboratory. Already for fifty years no health left — lost teeth, a sick stomach, gynecology. And why, you ask? Today my pension of three thousand rubles, even drugs are not enough."

By the way, having rich experience in dealing with the elderly, I strongly believe in the stereotype that all people are "old school" we love Stalin, and pray for his portraits. Just those who happened under Stalin to work and live, hate him as the founder of the misanthropic, oppressive and cruel working of the system.

"Stalin himself was "owl" and started to work around noon. Because of this his habits under leader was forced to adjust to the whole country. I came to the Ministry by ten o'clock in the afternoon, we got MC from the Kremlin and began to work with documents. I returned home at two o'clock in the night, his family have not seen at all, children grow up without me. Yes, damn him, that Stalin!" — told soldier, the last of the war. No "Stalin brought us a Great Victory" I have not heard from him once.

 3. They are too well-traveled.

Among his best memories the majority of older people call traveling, Hiking, travel.

"Remember how we students went to lake Baikal. There what unearthly beauty!"

"We have a whole month went on a cruise on a boat down the Volga to Astrakhan. What a joy it was! We were on tours in different historical cities, sunbathed, bathed. Let's see, I still have the pictures!"

"I remember we were visiting friends in Georgia. What kind of meat we were treated to the Georgians! They had not such meat as we do, from the store, frozen. It was fresh meat! And we were also treated to homemade wine, khachapuri, fruit from your garden."

"On the weekend we decided to go to Leningrad. We have then the car was still the twenty-first "Volga". Seven hours behind the wheel. In the morning they sat down to lunch in the Peterhof Palace on the Gulf of Finland. And then earned fountains!"

"In the Soviet Union it was cheap. Why I did not went to the far East, Sakhalin, to Kamchatka? Never now this region will not see."

 4. They bought too many unnecessary things.

"See, daughter, the carpet hanging on the wall? Thirty years ago, he was standing in line. When the carpets were given, the husband was on a business trip, I one on his hump dragged from Leninsky Prospekt to the "Three station" and then on the train Pushkino. And who today, this carpet is needed? Except that the homeless instead of the litter".

"I see we have in the cupboard is a German porcelain tea set for twelve persons. And we never even in the life out of him not eating-not drinking. Oh! Let's take out the Cup and saucer and drink from them a Cup of tea, finally. And for jam the outlet, select the most beautiful."

"We went crazy for this stuff, they bought, they got and tried... And they don't even make life more comfortable — on the contrary, they interfere. Why we bought this frame a "wall"? All children their childhood ruined — "do not touch", "don't scratch". I stood there with a simple wardrobe, made of boards nailed together, but the children could play, draw, climb!"

"Bought the entire salary of the Finnish boots. We then spent a month ate a potato, which a grandmother from the village brought. And why? Unless someone once became me more respect, better treat me due to the fact that I have the boots Finnish and others do not?"

 5. They too had little contact with friends, children, parents.

"How I wish now to see my mom, kiss her, talk to her! And mother for twenty years is no longer with us. I know that when it's not me, my daughter will just miss, it will be exactly the same I missed. But how could she explain it now? It rarely comes!"

"My best friend from his youth — Vasily Petrovich Morozov lives in two metro stops from us. But for the past few years we only talk on the phone. For two elderly people with disabilities, even two metro stations — an insurmountable distance. And what we used to have holidays! Wives baked cakes, the table was about thirty people. Songs are always sang our favorite. Often we had to meet, not only on holidays!"

"I gave birth to Sasha, and in two months gave to the nursery. Then kindergarten, school after school... in the Summer pioneer camp. One evening you come home and realize — there lives a stranger, I'm not familiar fifteen-year-old man."

 6. They are too little studied.

"Why I did not go to College, limited only to the College? It could easily get higher education. And everyone said you where, for twenty-five years, come on, work, fasten with shkolyarstvo".

"And that prevented me to learn German well? After all, how many years lived in Germany with her husband-a military man, and remember only "auf Wiedersehen".

"How little I read books! All the cases of the case. We're huge library, and most of these books I never even opened. Don't know what's under the covers".

  7. They were not interested in spiritual matters and was not looking for faith.

"What a pity that in the atheistic time, we were not taught anything, we knew nothing", is a favorite the answer to today's seniors a variety of questions of spiritual life. Those who had faith in his later years, often regret that are unable or unwilling to come to Church before.

"I'm not even one prayer, is not known. Now pray as much. At least the simple words: "Lord, have mercy!" Prayer is such a joy".

"You know, I spent my life believing people once feared. Especially was always afraid that they secretly teach me your faith, my children, tell them that God exists. The children I have baptized, but God I haven't talked to them ever — you know, then anything could be. And now I understand — believers life, they had something important that I then passed by".

"In Soviet times, the Newspapers wrote about UFOs, "Bigfoot", the Bermuda triangle, the Philippine healers, but about the Orthodox faith — never. Only occasionally, and then the bad news: about priests, about the monasteries. How much we filled bumps, believe in horoscopes, psychics".

We consider ourselves to be Orthodox, Church-going, past the temptation there is a neophyte and established views. But, talking with the elderly, understand that faith — this is the area where the more you stay, the more you have issues and the more force is required to find the answers. So we better spend the energy on finding those answers than on useless things that distract us from the Main.

I also bought train tickets. In Saransk. Perhaps, in the capital of Mordovia and nothing special. But when I visit there? published

Author: Anna Anikina

P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©

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Source: www.matrony.ru/o-chem-zhaleyut-stariki-na-poroge-vechnosti/