The psyche creates love

If the baby stopped smiling and no longer enjoys favorite toys and sluggishly reacting to all the mom's attempt to cheer him up, it is possible that he fell into depression. A very real depression, as in adults. And the reason there may be two. Initial — a failure in metabolism in the brain, that is a manifestation of a genetic predisposition, which is hard to influence. And second — psychogenic negative impact, or, more simply, the inability to obtain the necessary emotional comfort. In small children is often a lack of communication with parents.

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Very important in infancy often hug the child, talk to him. If he is alone or feels that his signal — shout, a smile or tears — don't react, he feels a lot of stress. Add to this nervous condition of the mother and the child in the depression.

I have seen kids in the war zone after the bombing. If the mother was calm, the child is also almost not afraid of explosions, but the others had psychological trauma. Parents, it is important to remember that the kid appreciates the world largely through a reaction to it the closest and most significant adults.

But depression needs to be treated. The longer this condition lasts, the more it affects the brain. When stress and depression neural connections that are responsible for mental development of the baby, are formed incorrectly. This may result in the delay of development and the emergence of States that are close to the children's autism.

That the child correctly developed, not necessarily to stand over him to show in more detail how, for example, to pronounce consonants or what pace for how to move when walking. In childhood learning through zapechatlevshie, repetition, or simply, memory. But this happens automatically — the child simply sees these as actions performed by the parents, and then trying to play them. The task of parents is to create a comfortable environment, for example to purchase a playpen or a Walker. In infancy it is possible to repeat the child's sounds that he says, — he is pleased. He feels that talking to him in his language. But the older the child becomes, the more it needs to hear meaningful speech, and overflowing love and affection to Express not mindless babbling, and intonation.

The actions of the parents and their reactions to different events have on a child is much greater impact than spoken for the purpose of training the speech: the child will be acting like parents, not like they taught him in words.

Of course, not everything in nature is determined by the imprinting. A lot depends on genetics. Two twins who are brought up in different families far apart can still have the same habits, Hobbies, and some, for example, a characteristic gesture. Or a child who does not live with their biological parents, suddenly more like his father, whom he never saw. Not so much appearance, how many actions. And no matter how it is brought up, the genes have taken their toll. An effort of will "of plants to raise a dog" —the achievement of the hero of one of the poems of Nikolay Zabolotsky — nobody.

Another view pediatric depression associated with early separation from the mother. It is called analiticheskoi depression. Being apart from mom, the child loses already acquired skills. Therefore it is not a long time to part with young children, even leaving them close relatives. But if the mother still had to go to work, it's good to choose an occupation that will take away from her all forces.

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Evening, back home, two tired and devastated parents — almost a "zombie". The child wants to play, to cuddle, and Mama to lie down. In such a situation it is difficult to restrain irritation. But we must try. Children cannot say that they lack communication, they Express it as they can. For example, suitable in the evening the baby to the Pope, but as "will bite" the hand. And the man immediately with a belt. It would seem, for case, as said a hundred times that you can't bite. But, on the other hand, you've got to understand that the child is too tired and is just trying to attract attention, but does it clumsily. Unless, of course, is not repeated from time to time, give him a hug, talk or play.

The problem is that excessive attention from parents deprives the child of self-reliance. I always recommend accustomed to it from their earliest years. For example, crib. Where to put? In a separate room or with your parents? Better in private that the kid was easier to learn to fall asleep alone.

Love is what creates a healthy psyche of the child. But it is important not to overdo it. Here have previously given birth to children helped in the family: to tidy up the house, for cattle to watch, and for siblings. And now? Now the child is the head of the family, the center of everything. Offspring acquire to somehow realize themselves, to realize their desires in life. And the child feels it: well, times have given birth to yourself, then indulge: want iPhone, games console and anything else. To me when mother came home all bruised, bitten, can't do anything, and dad is there from the power structures, but still a child can not cope, because the one in charge. In recent times all over the world are increasingly frequent cases of violence in the family: parents are not cruel to children, but rather children beaten by parents.

Partly to blame and television, and producers of goods. The world has changed, children now are not as, for example, during the war years, — they do not need to grow up quick. And it strongly emphasized on the screen and the posters. Everything is aimed at teenagers, this age admire, I try to extend it.
14-15 years old man thinks that 30 lives would be over, because all the most interesting, as it is said in the TV, it is happening now.

Education is a very complex process that requires constant attention and continuous thought. It is necessary to notice the slightest signals of the child, and as soon as there is a feeling that you lose contact with him and understanding, do not hesitate to contact a specialist. In Russia why-that are afraid of psychologists, and especially psychiatrists. In America is part of the culture, and we believe that these doctors treat only those who are really bad: "I'm not crazy, that to go to a psychiatrist".

But remember about them when your child in the morning before school suddenly start to feel sick. Eliminating pretense, a conscious parent would carry their child to different doctors, and they will shrug, because physically the baby is healthy. But I'm sick of it really. And the thing is that at school he was just bad, uncomfortable, and mom doesn't notice. And then the connection between the body and emotions begin to run in the opposite direction: psychological problems manifest themselves through the physiological condition of the child. In this case, be not too lazy to walk to the specialist. Fear of psychologists and psychiatrists is not worth it. published 

Author: Vitaly Grachev, neuropsychiatrist


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