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"YOU" vs "I": surprising effect of the replacement words
Bashny.Net
"You're such a slob! You just wait, I'll clean it up".
"You work all the time. For you work is more important than family."
"You're irresponsible. Do you think money grows on trees."
Sound familiar?
The Claims about money, priorities and household responsibilities is nothing new. In fact, for many couples this is a standard problem. It is therefore very important to choose the right words during an argument.
Even if you have the best of intentions, what you say can really hurt someone you love. And the biggest mistake many of us is the frequent use of "YOU" in his statements.
HOW WE USE "YOU" IN QUARRELS?
Statements that begin with "YOU" means that the listener for something to do. They do not Express your emotions, but rather point to the guilt or error of the interlocutor. This type of statement is likely to cause your partner to feel hurt and to take a position of defense of their interests. It contributes little to the truce...
HOW TO USE "I" IN QUARRELS?
Expressions that begin with "I" force us to take responsibility for what we think and feel and do not let us blame our partners. Thus, we can remain assertive, but not hostile.
HOW TO TURN "YOU" INTO "I"?
First, remember that the "I" in your statement helps you to use such phrases as "I feel", "I feel", etc. avoid such words that seem like emotions, but actually mean your partner's actions: "...I feel your irritation, anger," etc.
You should not use your emotions to disguise your claims. For example: "I feel that you're not taking me seriously". It implies guilt and does not Express your true emotions.published
©Tony Robbins
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©
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"You work all the time. For you work is more important than family."
"You're irresponsible. Do you think money grows on trees."
Sound familiar?
The Claims about money, priorities and household responsibilities is nothing new. In fact, for many couples this is a standard problem. It is therefore very important to choose the right words during an argument.
Even if you have the best of intentions, what you say can really hurt someone you love. And the biggest mistake many of us is the frequent use of "YOU" in his statements.
HOW WE USE "YOU" IN QUARRELS?
Statements that begin with "YOU" means that the listener for something to do. They do not Express your emotions, but rather point to the guilt or error of the interlocutor. This type of statement is likely to cause your partner to feel hurt and to take a position of defense of their interests. It contributes little to the truce...
HOW TO USE "I" IN QUARRELS?
Expressions that begin with "I" force us to take responsibility for what we think and feel and do not let us blame our partners. Thus, we can remain assertive, but not hostile.
HOW TO TURN "YOU" INTO "I"?
First, remember that the "I" in your statement helps you to use such phrases as "I feel", "I feel", etc. avoid such words that seem like emotions, but actually mean your partner's actions: "...I feel your irritation, anger," etc.
You should not use your emotions to disguise your claims. For example: "I feel that you're not taking me seriously". It implies guilt and does not Express your true emotions.published
©Tony Robbins
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©
Join us in Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki
Source: www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=998153836946245&set=a.751407031620928.1073741826.100002549157155&type=3&theater
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