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The illusion of understanding each other
What are the causes of misunderstanding people?
We communicate through words. But everyone puts in a word of its own value, and as a result builds their own picture of the world.
Take the word "dog". And ask 10 people to tell you what that word means in their understanding. It is possible that You will find many similarities in these descriptions, but the differences will be many.
Each head there own way. For one it will be a fierce bull Terrier, another affectionate Chihuahua in a rhinestone collar.
This is a simple example. And try to describe the word "freedom", "love", "happiness". These concepts are much broader and deeper and the differences will be much greater.
We bring to each word its meaning and hope that the other person is coming from their reality, understand it as we understand it.
But it's impossible. The causes of misunderstanding each other lie in the fact that everyone has an individual way of processing information. And if your child has a good walk — this game with friends "war games", automatic, fence, bushes, shooting, loud cries, lying on the ground. In Your understanding a good walk can be quite different, and not anxiety, broken knees, dirty clothes and more Laundry. Although for some people the happy eyes of his child is more important than such trifles.
We do not just talk to each other and say something. Most importantly, is the meaning that we invest in them. In your own words and non-verbal manifestations, we have all the time encourage the person to some kind of step: approval, comprehension, response, action or inaction and so on. etc. But sometimes what we get is not what you want, because the other is investing in our words the meaning that is closer to his perception of reality.
Hence, the causes of misunderstanding people. Conversely, the closer one perceives the meaning, the more effective the communication. Good communicators understand this and prefer to speak "the language of semantic understanding."
Because we can really want one, and to Express quite different.
For example, you come to the furniture store. To you Manager comes up and asks:
— What interests you?
I'm looking for the kitchen — You say.
Green the seller first to clarify the price range and Your preferences in style.
Experienced won't start with the price. First he finds out: What is the kitchen in Your understanding? What for You is the main? Without which You do not think of the kitchen? What table Your concept is easy or original? Etc.
How much will buyers, the same, different answers.
Often, the opportunity to gather the whole family in comfortable surroundings is significantly more important than price.
That's how human thinking that we are special processed information. We can omit certain details or distort what he heard, and sometimes something to generalize. In some situations this is useful, but often "missing links" do not give us completeness, and forced to make the wrong conclusions.
Because of this there are often the causes of misunderstanding.
There are several ways by which we analyse your experience and all the information. Their knowledge helps us to understand how we communicate with each other and with the world.
Deletion of information.
If we strikeout the "drop" part of the information. Such a filter is important, especially now when the information flow is huge. We learn only that in the moment seems to us useful and necessary, and do not pay attention to all the "extra".
Generalization or a generalization.
Quite often we use the larger category, which includes multiple sub-categories. In different contexts we can disaggregated and summarize information. In life we are constantly doing it when attach to things or events of more General significance.
Distortion.
Examples of distortion — our "yellow press" variety of gossip and peresudy.
Remember the children's game "broken telephone". The essence is the same.
We are constantly in "illusions of understanding" each other. Noise words through their own perception filter, the resulting output information that corresponds to our experience, and try to give it meaning. published
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©
Join us in Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki
Source: vk.com/true.journal?w=wall-41226912_62736
We communicate through words. But everyone puts in a word of its own value, and as a result builds their own picture of the world.
Take the word "dog". And ask 10 people to tell you what that word means in their understanding. It is possible that You will find many similarities in these descriptions, but the differences will be many.
Each head there own way. For one it will be a fierce bull Terrier, another affectionate Chihuahua in a rhinestone collar.
This is a simple example. And try to describe the word "freedom", "love", "happiness". These concepts are much broader and deeper and the differences will be much greater.
We bring to each word its meaning and hope that the other person is coming from their reality, understand it as we understand it.
But it's impossible. The causes of misunderstanding each other lie in the fact that everyone has an individual way of processing information. And if your child has a good walk — this game with friends "war games", automatic, fence, bushes, shooting, loud cries, lying on the ground. In Your understanding a good walk can be quite different, and not anxiety, broken knees, dirty clothes and more Laundry. Although for some people the happy eyes of his child is more important than such trifles.
We do not just talk to each other and say something. Most importantly, is the meaning that we invest in them. In your own words and non-verbal manifestations, we have all the time encourage the person to some kind of step: approval, comprehension, response, action or inaction and so on. etc. But sometimes what we get is not what you want, because the other is investing in our words the meaning that is closer to his perception of reality.
Hence, the causes of misunderstanding people. Conversely, the closer one perceives the meaning, the more effective the communication. Good communicators understand this and prefer to speak "the language of semantic understanding."
Because we can really want one, and to Express quite different.
For example, you come to the furniture store. To you Manager comes up and asks:
— What interests you?
I'm looking for the kitchen — You say.
Green the seller first to clarify the price range and Your preferences in style.
Experienced won't start with the price. First he finds out: What is the kitchen in Your understanding? What for You is the main? Without which You do not think of the kitchen? What table Your concept is easy or original? Etc.
How much will buyers, the same, different answers.
Often, the opportunity to gather the whole family in comfortable surroundings is significantly more important than price.
That's how human thinking that we are special processed information. We can omit certain details or distort what he heard, and sometimes something to generalize. In some situations this is useful, but often "missing links" do not give us completeness, and forced to make the wrong conclusions.
Because of this there are often the causes of misunderstanding.
There are several ways by which we analyse your experience and all the information. Their knowledge helps us to understand how we communicate with each other and with the world.
Deletion of information.
If we strikeout the "drop" part of the information. Such a filter is important, especially now when the information flow is huge. We learn only that in the moment seems to us useful and necessary, and do not pay attention to all the "extra".
Generalization or a generalization.
Quite often we use the larger category, which includes multiple sub-categories. In different contexts we can disaggregated and summarize information. In life we are constantly doing it when attach to things or events of more General significance.
Distortion.
Examples of distortion — our "yellow press" variety of gossip and peresudy.
Remember the children's game "broken telephone". The essence is the same.
We are constantly in "illusions of understanding" each other. Noise words through their own perception filter, the resulting output information that corresponds to our experience, and try to give it meaning. published
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©
Join us in Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki
Source: vk.com/true.journal?w=wall-41226912_62736
