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How to overcome 5 of the most serious problems at work
Let's face it: conflicts with colleagues are sometimes the most difficult to resolve interpersonal problems. Because we do not choose our colleagues as we choose friends, and you can't assign a mother to be the arbitrator as during family conflicts. Below we will discuss how to get through this with dignity, becoming better than you were before.
Most people, according to the author Bob Berg does not possess the art of persuasion — a key component of solving problems with colleagues.
That's why he wrote his book Adversaries Into Allies: Win People Over Without Manipulation or Coercion ("How to turn adversaries into allies: win people over without manipulation or coercion"), which provides tips on how to become an effective and influential person at work.
"It means to become a man who knows how to obtain from others the desired results, by suggestion them to a sense of satisfaction with ourselves, the situation and you", explains Berg.
It turns out that this is a very useful skill.
"You create a positive experience, and people can't wait to work with you again," he adds. "To be a master of persuasion and negotiation much more profitable, both in financial terms and in interpersonal relationship than a skilled manipulator who people would like, but you can't easily get rid of."
Ready to begin its transformation into an authoritative and influential person?
Consider the following five methods of solving office conflicts and approved by the Berg strategies of professional reasoning.
Unpleasant situation at work No. 1: your neighbor in the workplace is poorly understood the limits ofYour inconsiderate co-worker is using speaker phone to discuss everything from client meetings to dinner with her husband; looking at your monitor over your shoulder; and strongly interfere in your conversations without your consent.
To control your emotions strategy a reputable person. The key is to make your coworker to write such annoying habits liesin your ability to stay calm. "Otherwise, you will not be able to communicate with that person for the benefit of himself," says Berg.
So before you approach a colleague, take a deep breath and promise yourself to keep sarcastic comments to yourself.
Berg emphasizes the importance of using friendly (not guilty!) tone when you say something like: "Hey, Mary, I would like to discuss with you how we can make our working atmosphere more comfortable. I like to work with you in the neighborhood, but I recently often distracted from serious project, especially when you're on the phone through the loudspeaker!"
The construction of the phrase in this way is extremely important, because it looks friendlier: you like the colleague, and you wisely use the message form "I" to describe the distractions and the tension, but not its bad habits. And to not make her feel the need to defend, you are focusing on just one shortcoming in the manner of behavior in the workplace.
Then continue in the same spirit: "is There any convenient way to tell you that you're disturbing my work, and I get distracted? I just don't want either of us feel uncomfortable when this situation will happen again."
Thus, explains Berg, you are given permission to solve the problem in the future. But don't forget to maintain composure and friendliness during the whole time that you will need in order to teach Mary how to do what you want: be a good neighbor in the workplace.
Unpleasant situation at work # 2: you have to deal with the office grouchto You, as a new project-the Manager picked the team, which includes quick-tempered fellow, notorious for criticizing everything from training on team building to the selection of snacks in the office.
To respect someone else's value system strategy reputable person. Berg says that this is a classic example of the conflict perspective.
You will never be able to fully understand the relationship of the employee to any issue simply because your own belief system — a combination of your upbringing, culture and life events — is different from his. But this should not prevent you to work on arrangements that would satisfy both of you.
Step number one in establishing contact with a grumpy employee who does not want to work in a team — it's a compliment, says Berg. Try this: "You know, ed, I would like to discuss how to make our work easier and more comfortable. I can tell you are a man of deep thinking, and you are able to challenge the status quo."
Continue: "But, nevertheless, I sometimes feel that your thinking is negative — that is actually not so bad because not everything around us is painted in pink color. But next time, when something will cause you trouble, I would like to hear from you also the solution to the problem".
Directing the conversation in a similar vein, you show your colleague that you respect his point of view, and understand that his skills could lead to greater cooperation in the future.
"This creates something very important in business and in leadership namely credibility," says Berg. "This is extremely important, because people will do business, refer business, and allow themselves to be influenced only someone I can trust."
Unpleasant situation at work # 3: chief appropriates your workyou Have great ideas, and they like your supervisor, but so much so that you suspect that he is promoting them to the highest level as their own.
To recognize someone else's ego — strategy reputable person. "Hurting someone's ego in an attempt to resolve the situation, you will definitely alienate the person, causing in him such emotions as resentment or anger," says Berg. "That's why in order to force the boss to hear your point of view in such a difficult situation, you need to appease his ego."
So start the conversation with good old flattery, making sure that your positive attitude is obvious before you go directly to the problem. We can say this: "gene, I really like to work with you. I hope that it is mutual, and that my work and suggestions are important for the team."
Surely he would agree, and you can move on to the next sentence: "And I am very glad that you represent some of my ideas to senior management."
Now that you have voiced my assessment of what he's doing to you gently mention your concerns like this: "I sometimes wonder whether I'm getting all that I deserve, given my level of involvement in work. What do you think about this?"
"Refraining from phrases like this: "Hey, I think you're stealing my ideas!", ask your boss, politely, without threatening notes, what's the matter. And he will not be able to give vent to his ego because you have not made an open accusation," says Berg.
Now your boss is obliged to explain how things are, and you have the opportunity to discuss how your concerns will be resolved in the future.
Unpleasant situation at work # 4: you want higher wages from its hard-fisted headYou heard what the income of your company this year has not increased, but this does not negate the fact that you have long been expecting promotion, and want to discuss the matter with your boss.
To create a good basis for a conversation strategy reputable person. It is your duty as a master of negotiation, says Berg. You must be able to defuse the situation and send a potentially difficult negotiations about the deal in a favorable direction.
"Reason is, and hence everything else," he says. Therefore, if you are negotiating with a person who knows the situation as well as you, the conversation is likely to go at the specified rate.
Once you understand that you have a conversation with a boss, your main goal should be the creation of a solid base. Start with a statement that Express your awareness of current issues and your request will not seem inappropriate.
Berg offers the following option: "I know that the company's budget this year is very limited, but I would still like to talk to you about what you can do within the current possibilities to raise my salary."
Then imagine the head of a list that reflects all details of your significant achievements over the past few years.
"Be ready to show him when, where and how what you did led to the increase of the company's profits," says Berg, adding that the structure of the message "I" creates realistic, not resulting from undue desires a tone that will cause the boss a favor and the desire to consider your arguments.
Unpleasant situation at work No. 5: you must rein in arrogant newbieYour just graduated College assistant tries to evade undesirable everyday tasks, such as processing contracts, which he, in fact, was hired to have the time to do serious projects that require more skills than those which he possesses.
To communicate tactfully and with understanding — the strategy of the authorities. "If you want to interact with colleagues to solve acute problems, says Berg, it is necessary to do it skillfully, entering the position of the opponents. If you're not gonna do it, then the other person will take a defensive position and will begin to show stubbornness," he says.
For a start, make it clear to my assistant that we all once something started, "John, you know you have potential, and you will only achieve in this company. I can see how much you want to probably get into the stream, and it reminds me of myself at your age".
The fact that you see and acknowledge his enthusiasm will help him to feel at ease, as well as the understanding that you yourself were once in a similar situation.
Continue: "Now we really need you to focus on responsibilities relevant to your current position. So you will be able thoroughly to study and to acquire significant experience and knowledge needed to work in this company and for your future career."
So you mention his own career and future, and Express their thoughts so that the current work becomes for him a special significance. This tactic, which is based on one of the universal rules of Berg.
"People do what they do, for their own reasons, not yours," says Berg. "Therefore, to become an effective master of persuasion, you will need to learn to link goals and needs of the other person with the desired result for you". published
The author of the translation of Vyacheslav Davidenko
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind - together we change the world! ©
Join us in Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki
Source: megamozg.ru/company/mbaconsult/blog/25336/
Most people, according to the author Bob Berg does not possess the art of persuasion — a key component of solving problems with colleagues.
That's why he wrote his book Adversaries Into Allies: Win People Over Without Manipulation or Coercion ("How to turn adversaries into allies: win people over without manipulation or coercion"), which provides tips on how to become an effective and influential person at work.
"It means to become a man who knows how to obtain from others the desired results, by suggestion them to a sense of satisfaction with ourselves, the situation and you", explains Berg.
It turns out that this is a very useful skill.
"You create a positive experience, and people can't wait to work with you again," he adds. "To be a master of persuasion and negotiation much more profitable, both in financial terms and in interpersonal relationship than a skilled manipulator who people would like, but you can't easily get rid of."
Ready to begin its transformation into an authoritative and influential person?
Consider the following five methods of solving office conflicts and approved by the Berg strategies of professional reasoning.
Unpleasant situation at work No. 1: your neighbor in the workplace is poorly understood the limits ofYour inconsiderate co-worker is using speaker phone to discuss everything from client meetings to dinner with her husband; looking at your monitor over your shoulder; and strongly interfere in your conversations without your consent.
To control your emotions strategy a reputable person. The key is to make your coworker to write such annoying habits liesin your ability to stay calm. "Otherwise, you will not be able to communicate with that person for the benefit of himself," says Berg.
So before you approach a colleague, take a deep breath and promise yourself to keep sarcastic comments to yourself.
Berg emphasizes the importance of using friendly (not guilty!) tone when you say something like: "Hey, Mary, I would like to discuss with you how we can make our working atmosphere more comfortable. I like to work with you in the neighborhood, but I recently often distracted from serious project, especially when you're on the phone through the loudspeaker!"
The construction of the phrase in this way is extremely important, because it looks friendlier: you like the colleague, and you wisely use the message form "I" to describe the distractions and the tension, but not its bad habits. And to not make her feel the need to defend, you are focusing on just one shortcoming in the manner of behavior in the workplace.
Then continue in the same spirit: "is There any convenient way to tell you that you're disturbing my work, and I get distracted? I just don't want either of us feel uncomfortable when this situation will happen again."
Thus, explains Berg, you are given permission to solve the problem in the future. But don't forget to maintain composure and friendliness during the whole time that you will need in order to teach Mary how to do what you want: be a good neighbor in the workplace.
Unpleasant situation at work # 2: you have to deal with the office grouchto You, as a new project-the Manager picked the team, which includes quick-tempered fellow, notorious for criticizing everything from training on team building to the selection of snacks in the office.
To respect someone else's value system strategy reputable person. Berg says that this is a classic example of the conflict perspective.
You will never be able to fully understand the relationship of the employee to any issue simply because your own belief system — a combination of your upbringing, culture and life events — is different from his. But this should not prevent you to work on arrangements that would satisfy both of you.
Step number one in establishing contact with a grumpy employee who does not want to work in a team — it's a compliment, says Berg. Try this: "You know, ed, I would like to discuss how to make our work easier and more comfortable. I can tell you are a man of deep thinking, and you are able to challenge the status quo."
Continue: "But, nevertheless, I sometimes feel that your thinking is negative — that is actually not so bad because not everything around us is painted in pink color. But next time, when something will cause you trouble, I would like to hear from you also the solution to the problem".
Directing the conversation in a similar vein, you show your colleague that you respect his point of view, and understand that his skills could lead to greater cooperation in the future.
"This creates something very important in business and in leadership namely credibility," says Berg. "This is extremely important, because people will do business, refer business, and allow themselves to be influenced only someone I can trust."
Unpleasant situation at work # 3: chief appropriates your workyou Have great ideas, and they like your supervisor, but so much so that you suspect that he is promoting them to the highest level as their own.
To recognize someone else's ego — strategy reputable person. "Hurting someone's ego in an attempt to resolve the situation, you will definitely alienate the person, causing in him such emotions as resentment or anger," says Berg. "That's why in order to force the boss to hear your point of view in such a difficult situation, you need to appease his ego."
So start the conversation with good old flattery, making sure that your positive attitude is obvious before you go directly to the problem. We can say this: "gene, I really like to work with you. I hope that it is mutual, and that my work and suggestions are important for the team."
Surely he would agree, and you can move on to the next sentence: "And I am very glad that you represent some of my ideas to senior management."
Now that you have voiced my assessment of what he's doing to you gently mention your concerns like this: "I sometimes wonder whether I'm getting all that I deserve, given my level of involvement in work. What do you think about this?"
"Refraining from phrases like this: "Hey, I think you're stealing my ideas!", ask your boss, politely, without threatening notes, what's the matter. And he will not be able to give vent to his ego because you have not made an open accusation," says Berg.
Now your boss is obliged to explain how things are, and you have the opportunity to discuss how your concerns will be resolved in the future.
Unpleasant situation at work # 4: you want higher wages from its hard-fisted headYou heard what the income of your company this year has not increased, but this does not negate the fact that you have long been expecting promotion, and want to discuss the matter with your boss.
To create a good basis for a conversation strategy reputable person. It is your duty as a master of negotiation, says Berg. You must be able to defuse the situation and send a potentially difficult negotiations about the deal in a favorable direction.
"Reason is, and hence everything else," he says. Therefore, if you are negotiating with a person who knows the situation as well as you, the conversation is likely to go at the specified rate.
Once you understand that you have a conversation with a boss, your main goal should be the creation of a solid base. Start with a statement that Express your awareness of current issues and your request will not seem inappropriate.
Berg offers the following option: "I know that the company's budget this year is very limited, but I would still like to talk to you about what you can do within the current possibilities to raise my salary."
Then imagine the head of a list that reflects all details of your significant achievements over the past few years.
"Be ready to show him when, where and how what you did led to the increase of the company's profits," says Berg, adding that the structure of the message "I" creates realistic, not resulting from undue desires a tone that will cause the boss a favor and the desire to consider your arguments.
Unpleasant situation at work No. 5: you must rein in arrogant newbieYour just graduated College assistant tries to evade undesirable everyday tasks, such as processing contracts, which he, in fact, was hired to have the time to do serious projects that require more skills than those which he possesses.
To communicate tactfully and with understanding — the strategy of the authorities. "If you want to interact with colleagues to solve acute problems, says Berg, it is necessary to do it skillfully, entering the position of the opponents. If you're not gonna do it, then the other person will take a defensive position and will begin to show stubbornness," he says.
For a start, make it clear to my assistant that we all once something started, "John, you know you have potential, and you will only achieve in this company. I can see how much you want to probably get into the stream, and it reminds me of myself at your age".
The fact that you see and acknowledge his enthusiasm will help him to feel at ease, as well as the understanding that you yourself were once in a similar situation.
Continue: "Now we really need you to focus on responsibilities relevant to your current position. So you will be able thoroughly to study and to acquire significant experience and knowledge needed to work in this company and for your future career."
So you mention his own career and future, and Express their thoughts so that the current work becomes for him a special significance. This tactic, which is based on one of the universal rules of Berg.
"People do what they do, for their own reasons, not yours," says Berg. "Therefore, to become an effective master of persuasion, you will need to learn to link goals and needs of the other person with the desired result for you". published
The author of the translation of Vyacheslav Davidenko
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind - together we change the world! ©
Join us in Facebook , Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki
Source: megamozg.ru/company/mbaconsult/blog/25336/
