Parents-school-child: what about the relations between the parties of this triangle?
What are their responsibilities and whether the right?
Can these three to be a team, or everyone plays against the other two?
The role of the teacher in a child's life: friend, assistant or guide? Considers the Director of the Institute of non-formal education INO Dima Zitser.
– The child is sent to public school, what is most disturbing?
– All.– There is no hope?
"Well, we survived!", as they like to say advocates of such a rigid system. "Well, I was so brought up, and nothing!" You know, the thing is, the question of how he goes there.– From a regular kindergarten in a regular school.
You know, oddly enough, if the child comes from a regular kindergarten, it is, in a sense, ready. He knows that someone else will more important than his that he will live in a world under pressure. He doesn't understand why, by the way. But anyway is already in these hard and terrible part of the will of others, suppression system.– So, if the child will go to school after a nice private garden, where he was respected and it was considered, it will be much traumatic?
– Yes and no. Look, first off, we need to agree that we will not indiscriminately blame all, without exception, public schools, this is an important point. There are some excellent schools, and most importantly, have a wonderful teacher. I may be, I will tell an amazing thing but I believe it's true: good teachers the most.
Another thing is that when we find ourselves in hard fact, sometimes we manifest not our best quality. Who of us knows what would have behaved, he, God forbid, in a concentration camp, for example. Who knows?
With teachers of the same story. I meet with them constantly, these are nice, good people. The vast majority of 15 minutes of communication become open and accepting. Another thing – frame the circumstances.
Recently, a friend told the story. He is the filmmaker, and removed some school. Communicated with teacher, intelligent, wonderful, sweet girl. And here they come to class, and she immediately breaks into a scream, becomes a monster. We can ask the question, where it's real, where is the truth? I am inclined to think that in the first case.– What happens to it?
– Proposed circumstances. School is one of the most remarkable notions of mankind, it was created for man to have evolved, interacted with the world, enriching the world by himself. If, instead, arrange a torture chamber every second, starting from the very first moment: as you the man looked at the entrance, as you need shoes of a specific type, and now in the form of a certain type, a notebook of a certain color, what happens to a person?
But if he gets into the story from the teacher? He becomes an overseer. Especially if it's a young man, just after graduation, comes to school, meets with his senior colleagues. And senior colleagues: "what, they can't be disband! The beast never turn back!" And that's all! Well, how can he resist?
It is social psychology. Americans have a lot in this area worked in the 60's, we remember with you the experiments and the prison, and some others. Prison everything, that's what happens. And the people in it hostage, and both teachers and students.
– What to do if there is no possibility to send to a good school?
– Be ready to answer, I have hard views. If we speak honestly, honestly, there is always a way. First and foremost, we must understand what we want. Here the child goes to school, what we want. Better yet, what we do not want to write to yourself 10 red lines. What we strongly disagree.
Sit down and write, whether I am or not, that my baby was screaming. Ready or not I want my child several times a day served the will of others without giving reasons why. Ready or not I like to see my child humiliated. You will have such a road map. At this point you will reduce 80% of schools, they will be behind the red line.
But 20% will remain. The 20% of schools choose the teachers. Choose, go, ask, look, look!Write big, as red as you want: the parent has the right to come to the teacher, to see how it works, to restore. A normal parent should try to attend the class: but what, he loved one there gives a minimum of four years.
Parent in the way of the petitioner is very strange. It is necessary to move into the role of claimant. If I want my interests were taken into account, they need to promote. Don't always have to fight just to promote. Sometimes it even reservasion.
In most cases you can find good teachers even in a small town. In small towns good teachers more. There is a legend that everything is good in Moscow and partly in St. Petersburg. But it's not. When I go to seminars in the small, tiny city, you can't tell there true devotees! What do you think? The village in which I live 12 children and two teachers who have taught at all because nobody is going out there more. And all children know. Imagine what a stud these people must be that they were doing?
Well, suppose the most incredible thing: we haven't found good teachers, good schools. And mothers who have not found, well, how many of them, about five will be typed on the town? What we do next?– Creating?
– Golden words! To start a study group. We have decided to criticize the education act, but in this case I can't reach out to those who are dissatisfied. We have a great education act, one of the best in the world. It offers a very wide choice for parents, and parents generally do not use it.– The law in practice or in theory good? The Soviet Constitution, too, was one of the best in the world.
– Practice – it's just you and me. Well, that officials to your study group, which has five children that are tied to a specific school. Despite the fact that you submit the test papers and financial statements. Corruption is not there, money you do not to take. You know? We ourselves frighteningly.
Don't want a study group? Home schooling, please.
Well, let's 1% separate: don't know, I can't think of anything that could happen that parents are valid there is no way out. But that one percent, one!
99% of the cases it is just parents being lazy. I will not throw these parents in stone, I will not say that they are wrong, but I protestatio, however, a certain approach to the education of their own children, to children themselves, to interact in the family. You can change everything, can. Outputs are always more than one.– In what ways are the family and school, ordinary family and an ordinary school?
– Nikolai Vasilievich Gogol, on this occasion said: "No man did not understand his master, nor the master of man." In these respects they are. There are two extremes. The first extreme is when parents say, "back off, we've got the educational process, we know what to do." The other extreme, when, on the contrary, the parents say, "We gave you baby, let's educate". What's going on? There is a disintegration of the educational system. In this triad, "student-school-family" the decomposition of the learning process. Conflict develops between all the components of the trio. And will increase until it reaches a climax.
It's so obvious, why do we need and what is needed today is a normal average school. Why? There is no answer. If we start to think about what is and what is happening in the education system, we are faced with so many issues that we need to decide what will be scary.
To learn, of course, necessary. Question: what? There are some very important skills that a person it would be fun to master. First skill: to be able to choose. It needs to understand what he needs and what he wants. In this situation it would be good to understand what other people want. And here we come to the following skills: must be able to communicate. With another person, with yourself, with nature, with weather, with the government. He should be able to find a path to the knowledge, understand where to take.
In recent decades, humans have changed even the structure of memory. Previously, our head was similar to the archive: we've put the principle of the synchrotron, shifted Prishvin and from above poured sulfuric acid production, and there's somewhere that we have is, in case you ever need.
Now people should be able to correctly form a query, not in the narrow sense, as in Google. And wide: to yourself, to life, to the teacher. If so, I understand why I go to school. And we can go from teacher hand in hand together, and on any material – Curie, Pushkin, the laws of Archimedes, we will explore, first and foremost, themselves.
I have a favorite question to teachers of mathematics: "Why do we need the multiplication table?" They immediately feel the catch and are struggling to avoid the answer "To know!" And come to two answers – "math develops the brain" and "in order to count money". What I always say: may God grant you all that much money, so they had to be read with the multiplication tables.
This is what I? To ensure that the teacher must understand what he teaches to understand something or other. If the teacher cannot answer this question himself, he can only drum. Not to teach, and grind on the principle of "need".
— At school a lot is based on estimates. But the work on the evaluation and work on the result is not the same, there's no equal sign. Then what is "assessment"?
– Imposed the truth that the truth is not. The result of the man articulates himself in the first place. It comes from inside, even if in the company of other people.Assessment to me often at all is irrelevant: a person under the influence of some factors, often subjective, estimates by a certain law, often subjective, what I'm doing. And it often destroys the result.
How many times it happens that a person inspired, in the inspiration it creates something amazing, shows another, and the other says, "No, for the contest you shall not pass! You're not worthy." And that's all.– There are situations when estimates need?
Assessment is a strange invention. Need feedback, that's for sure. Between the teacher and student feedback to analyze what and how is it that you need to do if I want to get such result, to learn such a process, for example. This is an amazing thing, absolutely, feedback. The rating has nothing to do with it.– Teacher child – who?
"Teacher" translates from Greek as "decowood". It was the slave who took children to school. I really believe in the language, it really delived. Now let's turn to the language of practice: a teacher is a professional who knows how to create a framework, rules of the game, speaking in simple language, which starts to spin the process of learning – cognition, self-knowledge. Framework in which a person has to be comfortable, obviously. He should not fear and thinking about fear. It needs to be in a situation when to Express myself "nice and easy", in a situation in which it can realize its own interest, the basis of motivation.
If I am in a situation where I say, "put your Hands here, get up on a signal and look in the back of the girl who sits in front of you", and I want to look at her face, amazingly beautiful girl caught in the moment, I can't this of interest to Express.
In practice, the average teacher in an unknown Russian school is often a very unhappy man. It needs every morning to peel myself from the pillow and drag force his body in the dark to the hated school, afraid to explain himself, why would he need it. What distinguishes a good teacher from a bad one? He knows why he goes there.– At Strugatsky was the idea of mentoring.
– I'm all for mentoring, but we don't know who and why in this world becomes a mentor. As soon as I come in as a guide for the child, tell him: "From this moment on I am your mentor and guide," you know, it smacks of fascism or communism in the acute form. This is a problem. If we are going to honestly engage in the process of course, I could be your mentor, and you say, "Wow, this bespectacled man, I want to be like him!" But it will just be a bonus.
The danger is that the teacher can begin to take too seriously to itself. But it is lightweight, open, in a sense, almost clown profession. Imagine how flexible I need to be in communication, when in my class of 40 children. In class should be enough space and the girl who now wants to drink, and the boy who wants to draw, and I have to fit them all into one process. It's almost slapstick. But if I'm the mentor, you know? This fireproof Cabinet in a suit.
It is often said that a teacher should be a friend. Yes, he must not be his disciples another must not. If I'm obsessive to think we are friends or not, all broken.
– Dima, you have an advanced degree in education, a huge experience and seniority. You have to Institute non-formal education there is a game "What I don't know how." What you, as a teacher, do not know how?
– That's a good question. I don't know how to stop, in more ways than one. Sometimes I smell and I fly, I fly, I fly, then, looking back, you realise that a dramatic need to stay in the point. Sometimes you have to be able to stop in time, to give a message to others to go further.
I'm a very, very long time did not know how to give the other place, but I hope now are in the process of mastering this skill. Before, if we were with another teacher to co-administered, it was difficult to leave enough room for the second teacher. Now I look at our wonderful young teachers and understand that I just need to go into another room and leave them with the kids.
I think this largely comes from people from distrust of myself, which you pass on the other. I mean, yeah, what I'm saying? If you are together, begins "listen, I better do it yourself".
I, like all of us have their own idea of justice. And if it seems to me that in relation to children, mine or someone else's, is a sort of injustice, I have, literally, blows the roof. It's bad. First, as anyone who has blown off the roof, I could be wrong. Second, sometimes before I could do that after seriously regret.– Give an example of unfair, in your opinion, relationship to the child?
– You want to look out the window? And will see just the heels! If I see physical violence, I will always fit: pulls the arm pulls, pulls. Beats is an extreme point, it goes. I have the secret words that miraculously always work. I tell my mother, and I have to do it quite often, she commits a criminal offense. And indeed it is. The Criminal code of the Russian Federation, as in any other country, criminalizes physical abuse.
Pull and yank the hand – it's physical violence, and people mostly do not even think about. And it is often enough to say it once to a man thought. At this point parents know the abuser knows that it is visible that the society sees it. If today he was approached by Dima, and tomorrow he was approached by Anastasia, and then another neighbor, and then someone else, the next day he goes to jail. And this is an important message. Never in my life in such a situation, did not send me to hell.
Recently, you know, reconsidered "Station for two". At the end of the film there is a scene available, restaurant, railway station, routine, ordinary life. Sitting guard, flies drives away, someone eating something, and a mom with a child doing homework. She sits down next to him, hammered something, give him a slap with the word "Dummy!" and the irritation goes away.
Ryazanov is a great Director. I think it is this option, this dash made at the level of genius. Quoted that on every corner, at every step. So is our life: in passing this slap is given to the child!– I can't imagine a situation where I come to Europe with your child, and a stranger I will make a remark about his behaviour. And we believes it has a right to: a passer-by, the grandmother of the neighbor.
– The grandmother of the neighbor also lives in hallucinations. It was said by Vladimir Ilyich Lenin, which every cook can govern the state. Grandma and controls. You know, everything was done to people engaged in anything but themselves. Because if they do a, they'd realize that many, many, who survives. So grandma is switched on. And if you are at this moment say, "Grandma, it's none of your business", you will find a neat, polite form, you will make many useful things.
First, your loved one will feel that he is protected. Second, you implement your maternal potential. And third, the grandmother, maybe I can finally switch to itself. Will look around and say, "Oh, wow, what are we doing? Why is my grandson at school hurt? My grandson will not give offense to!" published
Also interesting: Unpopular about motivation. Why the child does not learn? My adolescent son: how did we do without teenage riot
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
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