What a good parent should be.

Everywhere you look, there are tips for raising children. Some say you need to be strict, others insist on a liberal approach. It is difficult for a parent to choose one thing. How to plan here parenting? Dima Zitzer, MD and director of the Institute of Non-formal Education (INO), claims that he does not raise his children at all.





He explained why you should not prepare children for life, you do not need to educate them and you can not spoil with love. "Site" shares his thoughts with you. There's a lot to learn.

The qualities of a good parent

1. Stop raising children.
   Zitzer says, “I don’t raise my children.” They will grow up to be good people without my education. The teacher believes that the term “education” is too rude and harsh. He assumes that the teacher always knows what is right, but this is self-deception. You can influence a child by your example, but you can’t constantly invade his space and tell him what it should look like. You can draw a parallel with the style of clothes. If parents constantly tell their children how to dress, they will never have their own style. The same goes for parenting: children see how you dress, how you talk, and what you love. This way you influence the child even more than you would like.
   
   
   
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2. Learn to talk to a child
   Everyone knows the situation: you are watching TV or reading, and the child is around. What do we tell him in such cases? Something like, "Go do something." It’s an automatic reaction, but you have to fight it. Because of such phrases, the child will develop a model of “they do not want to see and accept me as I am”, and it will be difficult to change this. Next time, take a deep breath before answering your child. It will give you a second and a half to think through your words and find the right answer. Healthy. parenting - the key to proper education.
   
   
   
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3. Don't punish the child.
   What's the point of punishment? Basically, you're punishing a child for not liking the way they behave. And punishment is always humiliation. If you think about it, you will realize that this is not just a dead end, but a road to the abyss in the relationship. When you punish a child, you take back your punishment in the past. The educator says: Punishment spoils the relationship, whether the child thinks it's fair or not. After 7 years, parents can not make mistakes, but after 7 children understand that mom and dad are not always right. And grievances accumulate.”
   
   And that's normal practice. In Sweden, it is illegal to beat children at the legislative level.
   
   
   
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4. Learn to apologize.
   No one can forgive like children. That is why apologizing to a child is a powerful act. Adults think they are wise, and sometimes they can’t admit their mistakes. But they need to be recognized so that the child learns from you. When you are wrong, ask your child for forgiveness. You’re getting better and setting a good example for your child.
   
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5. Stop “preparing your child for life”
   The paradigm itself is quite strange. We always say that life will begin only after we become adults. But this is not so, life begins at birth and continues constantly. You don’t need to try to prepare your child for some other life, let him just live, and that’s all. Dima Zitzer says, “We’re trying to teach children something today, even though we have no idea what our lives will be like in the future, and neither did our teachers (but pretending to know).” Then it remains to observe and learn for ourselves.”
   
   
   
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6. Be a child's rear
   Parents are people who always support us and love us no matter what. It doesn’t mean they’ll always say “you’re right,” it means they’ll support you even when they disagree with you. You have to be a reliable home for the child. It’s great to know that you have people who love you, no matter what. And then your possibilities are limitless, because you can become for a child the world you have always dreamed of.
   
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7. Be able to laugh at yourself.
   For the time being, parents are absolute. By the age of 6, he begins to realize that his parents may be wrong. It comes to the understanding that if the mother says “I will kiss and everything will pass”, then nothing goes away. Learn to laugh at yourself to avoid failure. Let your child know that you can be wrong, you can say something stupid. So that the child can argue with you and even laugh without offending. This is important for maintaining normal relationships.
   
   
   
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8. Love your child.
   The teacher believes that a child cannot be spoiled by love. He says, “I don’t understand what ‘pampering’ is.” If you love someone, you want to make them happy. If I love you, I show you what it means to love. Loving is hard. That doesn't mean I'm selling a kidney to buy you a new toy. That doesn’t mean I’ll always agree with you. But if you really want something, and I have the opportunity to give it to you, why should I refuse? ?
   
   Do not deny the child what he really wants, dreams. They learn to love, give and give their love to others.
   
   
   
   
   
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It seems to us that the advice of Dima Zitzer can and should be applied. They teach you to love a child, not just raise it. This is an art that every parent should learn. Good luck to you and your children!

All mistakes in education then turn into complexes. Earlier we told how to raise a child without complexes and with normal self-esteem.

Learn how to stop imposing gender stereotypes on your child.

What do you think about these rules?