"10 style errors that make only Russian women". "If the woman yelling at the child, she's definitely Russian." "Only Russian women dream to get married and never work." One such remarks only cause confusion: someone seriously believes that the family scandals, love of leopard print pants and a marriage zolotoiskatel – feature of the national mentality, and not a property of each individual character?
But the expression "only a Russian woman» transformed into a popular search query, you begin to feel that "only Russian woman", which somehow became fashionable to rinse in the information flow.
One million seven hundred ninety five thousand one hundred fourteen
To sum up the most popular speculations about Russian women, portrait get creepy: selfish, lazy, obsessed with relationships, the manipulative, poorly dressed and painted up like hookers. Ready to kill each other for the right to serve illiterate refugee from the Middle East – because only Russian women will do anything for the pants in the house. Bad mother. Bad wife. Bungler. And – the icing on the cake – without a hint of dignity and respect.
I look at myself in the mirror and wonder, someone sees me like this? Or am I really this person? My girlfriends are? My colleagues, relatives, people on the streets of Moscow? We are all monsters?
Much truth in this kind of reasoning? Who feels entitled to judge us? Legitimate whether the generalization of "only Russian women"?
In my opinion, it doesn't matter. Much more important is motivation.
Why do people do this? From good intentions? Want to become better? Believe that nasty "only Russian women" is a bitter but necessary medicine? What are we ashamed, realize your own insignificance and once more to meet the expectations of some self-proclaimed judges?
In the middle of the last century, the scientist Gregory Bateson formulated and described the concept "double bind": the communicative situation in which a person simultaneously receives from the source two conflicting messages.
For example, "I love you, you damn fool!"Or "you're a man, rag lousy!"Or... or – respect yourself, "only Russian woman", dependent, greedy, stupid creature, which is in contrast to European women and American women don't know how to dress, paint, make and raise children.
It's not medicine and not help. This violence. Humiliation for humiliation, and not with some noble purpose. And it pours on our heads from the TV screen, from the mouth of some "Church style": "Well, you certainly don't beauty, big, sprout came out, but still not smiling, squeezed... And all because do not love yourself. Look at Parisian women, why you can't do?»
Let me explain.
A woman should be strong, independent, well-earning and "feminine". Slender, well-groomed, without cellulite – without dieting, without gym because the barbell and dumbbells "unfeminine."
Women should respect themselves and silently read "10 reasons why only a Russian woman can be mistaken for a prostitute". A woman needs to understand that should nothing to anybody! Because self-respecting Europeans such!
I don't care that they exist only in the imagination of those who meticulously counts the shortcomings of the only "Russian women".
By the way, I don't think those accountants from our sins sincerely believe, if a leopard dress and presentation of the man as the stone wall is a prerogative of the "Russian women". If so – they are idiots.
Because the difference between a Muscovite, Roman and Parisian very small. Because the line is not on nationality, but by habitat.
Life and aspirations of the village girls about the same all over the world – whether Russian is a village Portuguese or American. The inhabitant cities similar because they live in similar conditions. And no matter how this metropolis called new York, Sao Paulo or Moscow.
In a situation when we are constantly poking his nose in our supposedly unique, extremely our inherent sins, there's only one way to show respect for myself: to send. "Only Russian women painted like prostitutes." – "Fuck off". "Only Russian women yelling at their children." – "Fuck off". "Only Russian women anything." – "Went out twice".
No need to explain, to justify, to try to decipher that damn double message. We must remember that any double bind is violence, and those who practice it – a sadist who takes pleasure to humiliate people. He doesn't need us to become smarter, stronger and better.
Self-sufficiency: what does it mean for you?
Because what he will write or speak? Whom he will condemn? From what he – or she! – will feel that they are above only "Russian women"? Broadcast of this kind is not a cure. It is a disease. Not ours, but those broadcasts.
And I don't even want to try to understand the causes of this disease. Or else you will get in the heroine's notes "10 reasons why only Russian women are spared those who humiliated them".published