Bashny.Net
And that will spoil!
Bashny.Net
One of the strange little logical to me myths goes something like this: “if a child is to love unconditionally and to accept it, he will grow up spoilt unsuitable boor”.
This myth is based on several interesting ideas:
Idea 1:
“People should know that life is cruel”. Not that anyone should, but let's face it, it would be difficult from him to hide it. In addition to the right ten minute parse, which knows the conscious parent spent in the vector of acceptance and empathy, there are all the other 23 hours and 50 minutes, in which the child learns passively around: and our raised eyebrows and irritation, and grin, and our adults nematicidal conversations, and swearing, and insults, and jokes, and anger, and besides the parents he is surrounded by hundreds and thousands empathic and love colliding with life from nurses in the hospital and ending with the neighbors on the porch.
Believe me, the child will have time to see the diversity of life. Deliberately making a child's vaccinations “dislike” is about the same as deliberately to force him to breathe from the exhaust pipe and then suddenly get used to breathe in clean air.
These vaccinations he will get we want or not. A child growing up in the attempt of love and acceptance (the attempt, for none of us God) – will be much stronger, just that he will have a chance to say “it's stuffy in here,” and “I will not eat rotten”. Because he's not used to.
Idea 2:
“If you teach, it will get used”. This myth is based on ignorance of the peculiarities of development of personality. That certain personality traits are formed in stages, and it's not a question of habit.
That n're not supposed to expect from a child desires to share in two years, compassion in three or four mindfulness. The child is not only extremely plastic, it also does not develop immediately.
So the child, tantrums whose parents endured in patience and understanding in 2-3 years will not be hysteria in 7 years, just like a child pissing his pants in a year will not make it in 10. The lack of knowledge of child development raises a host of fears, and the child “taught” to be good in 2 years in fear that the children's selfishness will continue until 25.
To survive he really can, and just when a normal growing up child in the way, and he gets in the period of the war for the right to have the blue spoon and the mother's love, and fighting with the tenacity of a three-year period, to forty. He gets used if you give him the right to be myself in every age. He'll grow up. Wet pants, forgetfulness, hysteria and chaos.
Idea 3:
“If children love, they will remain selfish.” This is a very dangerous myth, because it stands for an even deeper belief that man is essentially being evil, and only a strict ban on selfishness makes a Man of him.
Man is essentially a social being. He has the ability to everything: as the greatest selfishness and the need to protect themselves, and to the great sacrifice and love, and manifests and develops these abilities in response to other people.
If a person lives in a dangerous hostile environment where a lot of humiliation, violence and insensibility, he grows reserved, angry and unfeeling. If a person lives in a supportive, respectful and nurturing environment, he grows up respecting, noble and generous.
Other things being equal, there are vegetables from the garden and breathe the pine trees more useful, than to live in Kapotnya is potato peels.
But the world is amazing: there are always those who deny it. Who says: “but I was beaten on the hands with a bow, and now I play beautifully on the violin.”
Well. We all have the ability to beat a child, not even justifying the violin. You never know what. All of a sudden.published
19 simply brilliant tips for parents
How to increase the self-esteem of the child. The Exercises "Sun"
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©
Source: www.womanfrommars.com/thinking-mommy-notes/%D0%B0-%D1%82%D0%BE-%D0%B8%D0%B7%D0%B1%D0%B0%D0%BB%D1%83%D0%B5%D1%88%D1%8C/
This myth is based on several interesting ideas:
Idea 1:
“People should know that life is cruel”. Not that anyone should, but let's face it, it would be difficult from him to hide it. In addition to the right ten minute parse, which knows the conscious parent spent in the vector of acceptance and empathy, there are all the other 23 hours and 50 minutes, in which the child learns passively around: and our raised eyebrows and irritation, and grin, and our adults nematicidal conversations, and swearing, and insults, and jokes, and anger, and besides the parents he is surrounded by hundreds and thousands empathic and love colliding with life from nurses in the hospital and ending with the neighbors on the porch.
Believe me, the child will have time to see the diversity of life. Deliberately making a child's vaccinations “dislike” is about the same as deliberately to force him to breathe from the exhaust pipe and then suddenly get used to breathe in clean air.
These vaccinations he will get we want or not. A child growing up in the attempt of love and acceptance (the attempt, for none of us God) – will be much stronger, just that he will have a chance to say “it's stuffy in here,” and “I will not eat rotten”. Because he's not used to.
Idea 2:
“If you teach, it will get used”. This myth is based on ignorance of the peculiarities of development of personality. That certain personality traits are formed in stages, and it's not a question of habit.
That n're not supposed to expect from a child desires to share in two years, compassion in three or four mindfulness. The child is not only extremely plastic, it also does not develop immediately.
So the child, tantrums whose parents endured in patience and understanding in 2-3 years will not be hysteria in 7 years, just like a child pissing his pants in a year will not make it in 10. The lack of knowledge of child development raises a host of fears, and the child “taught” to be good in 2 years in fear that the children's selfishness will continue until 25.
To survive he really can, and just when a normal growing up child in the way, and he gets in the period of the war for the right to have the blue spoon and the mother's love, and fighting with the tenacity of a three-year period, to forty. He gets used if you give him the right to be myself in every age. He'll grow up. Wet pants, forgetfulness, hysteria and chaos.
Idea 3:
“If children love, they will remain selfish.” This is a very dangerous myth, because it stands for an even deeper belief that man is essentially being evil, and only a strict ban on selfishness makes a Man of him.
Man is essentially a social being. He has the ability to everything: as the greatest selfishness and the need to protect themselves, and to the great sacrifice and love, and manifests and develops these abilities in response to other people.
If a person lives in a dangerous hostile environment where a lot of humiliation, violence and insensibility, he grows reserved, angry and unfeeling. If a person lives in a supportive, respectful and nurturing environment, he grows up respecting, noble and generous.
Other things being equal, there are vegetables from the garden and breathe the pine trees more useful, than to live in Kapotnya is potato peels.
But the world is amazing: there are always those who deny it. Who says: “but I was beaten on the hands with a bow, and now I play beautifully on the violin.”
Well. We all have the ability to beat a child, not even justifying the violin. You never know what. All of a sudden.published
19 simply brilliant tips for parents
How to increase the self-esteem of the child. The Exercises "Sun"
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©
Source: www.womanfrommars.com/thinking-mommy-notes/%D0%B0-%D1%82%D0%BE-%D0%B8%D0%B7%D0%B1%D0%B0%D0%BB%D1%83%D0%B5%D1%88%D1%8C/
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See also
How to raise children in Italy
Do we cripple love their children
Children comfortable for their own use, or I also taught and nothing...
The fears of childhood — what parents need to know
Scars education
Rich and poor children
Parents and children: 5 hard truths that must be recognized
If the children remain alive, it is a working model of the family!
What is really necessary for our children?
