The gap troubled relationships: to go or not?

The gap troubled relationships, the dismissal of an unloved job, moving from boring countries, as well as many other ways to remove yourself from uncomfortable circumstances are quite popular recipes for deliverance "from all evil", but in most cases such care will not only not solve the problem, but exacerbates it. For short-term relief comes time to make the consequences of their decision, and this, it turns out, not everyone is ready to face.

No change — this is normal, people should strive to change their lives for the better, but optimistic expectations of a bright future are often greatly exaggerated, and is it surprising that the subsequent return to earth is a very painful process.

— I decided to(-a) to get away from the wife/husband relationship has outlived its usefulness, in front of a happy future in a free swim!

— Well, where will you go?

— I've got a couple of worthy candidates!

— You're so just to the candidates and go? Dating, happy summer days, butterflies in the stomach and all that?

— Yes!

— A live where you?

— Solved!

— And with a mortgage to close the question be?

— We'll see! Now I do not want about it to even think! Want Svobody!

— Kids are like?

— Well, how-how, children will understand when he grows up!

— The house has already told everyone about your care?

— Not yet, put before the fact, when you're ready to go. Why in advance to spoil the atmosphere of the house?


Great plan, what can I say!

Can you tell what will happen next.


Then once close people stop to sleep for some time, there will be tears, anger, resentment and a lot more, then people will start fighting of the property, then the manipulation of children, recriminations, drunken calls at 2am, agony, rage, attempts at revenge, and more.

A new relationship with butterflies and other joyful insects are clouded by a boycott by relatives, the requirement of alimony or financial disputes, the newly minted candidate for a husband or wife at first, most likely, will not pay attention to it, but gradually, his head will begin to creep into doubt — and do not use me as a means for healing the wounds? And if this man to serious relationship with me, if so much time, money and effort spent on resolving the issues with the previous partner? Do I need endless sidelong glances from his relatives, who are not always ready to accept a new darling or the darling of his child? After some time the summer ends, followed by autumn comes and it turns out that the age of butterflies is short...

Work often the same thing happens — the man decides to change the activity when it has more liabilities than available resources. It's hard to look yourself if your software is a couple of kids and someone else from your family, if you can't do anything except what he did in the previous job, if there is no deferred money, no ideas what to do next, no confidence, no nothing, what a change of job then? Why stress yourself to increase many times?

Is not it easier to bear in mind this idea, put some amount of money to have enough for first months, to think about a part time job that does not require special skills but will give you at least some part of income? To read, to learn somewhere if necessary, study the experience of other people, really look at your abilities, and then act.

Clearly, when the network is full of slogans like "Safety does not exist — jump," and any appeals about the way out of your comfort zone, keep the sanity not so simple, but it's worth a try.

Yes, it is possible to do business, Yes, you can work remotely, Yes, it is possible to get a job at a company that would like to generate the desired income, but successful implementation in society is also not because the sky falls on your head! Talkers in the world very much, and those who are doing something really qualitatively, much less. Do not be tempted to get everything at once and effortlessly!

Divorce, moving, dismissal and other significant changes in life should not start with drawing a cloudless future, and with adequate assessment of available prospects and their commitments.

All, can no longer live in the family, there are no options for reconciliation, then, so be kind, get to the end of the situation. Have the courage to take the resentment, the anger and the tears of your wife/husband, from which decided to leave. Patience to many times to explain to the children that mom/dad goes not from them that they are loved, can always count on understanding and support that you understand what they feel will stick around as long as necessary, etc. Well, at least read something, listen to lectures on child psychology, consult with experts to minimize the harm to the child's psyche your actions.

Find the strength to listen to all that decide to tell you the native person, concentrate on him alone and help him through the pain of loss.

Why, why if someone decides to leave the family and relations, all the dirt and pain should go to another person? Such brave, so be brave to the end. And in trouble and in joy, as they say, well, and not run off. And maybe, when you have to deal with all this romantic outcome, family history, concurrent lunch with a lover or mistress will seem inspiring.

Well, the issues with the mortgage, loans, housing and many other too it would be good to consider in advance and decide together.

When will give all the debts, to help people experience negative emotions, work with all this pain, then start with privacy. Well just leave to itself, not to another partner. Live separately in rented accommodation, think about your life, about why all so has occurred, what lessons should be learned, what to do next, where you pull, etc. So it will be more honest and more sober assessment of the situation.

I assure you that more than half of divorces would not take place if people didn't let the relationship "third wheel". When you have a wife and a mistress (the husband and the lover) that you neither there nor here. They are both for you are the entire picture, and while there the husband, the lover seems very attractive, but take away the life of her husband, to her lover also have huge number of claims.

If you really want to run away from the relationship, I suggest you imagine that you will not meet any more worthy of a man who will become your new companion. Oh, I know, to think about it is not interesting, it is always better to hope for the best, but still! In this scenario your current partner still bad that I want to leave the family or you can even doubt? Better posomnevaytes, and then leaving, slamming the door, and then someone new he/she appeared, and you have personal life things are not arranged. The sad boy, you know.

A little secret — to run away want to, not because people or the environment does not suit us, but because we are in these circumstances do not like yourself. In each of us so much shadow and subdued that even to imagine it is not always possible. I would like to think that we are good, warm, friendly, organized, able to solve problems, and it turns out that in the outside world with the idea of themselves does not add up. Somehow love more no, patience is not enough, begin to cry, be jealous, be angry, be offended, to say that we don't appreciate, make decisions on emotions.

Why do many people much easier to live alone, to do business, and in your personal life to choose no strings attached? Because in business and career are much more factors one can control, and formalized rules, and where there is a collision with human nature, not always and not all can be controlled.

And the paradox is that many tend to deal with uncomfortable external factors (husband/wife, unloved work, cold climate, poor infrastructure, etc.), but when an external factor is eliminated, on a scene there is internal dissatisfaction. Tadaam! It turns out that these external factors had kept something inside, and now have nowhere to go, will have to face yourself, and terrible spouses unloved or uninteresting work.

Change must be deliberate! Someone will take more time and effort to prepare, someone less, but you should try to carefully weigh the "pros" and "cons", try to close the obligations to objectively evaluate their prospects, new skills requiring new knowledge, to engage in internal transformation to change the nature and improve relationships with loved ones, to be honest with yourself and try to protect those who have been there for many years.

In life anything can happen, sometimes really want to quit, but if the money, career, property can be acquired, then with your favorite people is not so simple. If much someone hurt, be prepared for the fact that it will have to pay, and as you can see, payback is usually made ready to realize it. So don't be surprised if you took the path of correction, decided to become "good", and from all sides you fell the test.

A great chance to distribute your existing debts and change your character for the better!


Also interesting: the secret of the little details – the symbol of big change!

Where to take forces for change


With the move also neatly, not shoot from the hip. Today you enjoy new landscaped neighborhoods civilized country, beautiful white sand beaches, great opportunities for the sale of a business, and tomorrow you understand that parents have aged or even died, and you really want that life to talk to them did not.

Stay close to those who are close to you, take care of people. published


Author: Dean Richards

P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©



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