Burning up with fever, pressure in chest, and body chills. At the thought of what might happen — dizzy. I'm scared, I understand that very scary to endure this life, to do the following steps to meet the new, frightening and unknown...Fear is one of the regulators of human behavior and feeling, which allows us to take care of their security.
And this is a good and necessary thing, when it performs its regulatory function — that is, we do not cross the road at a red light and do not eat something that is inedible and will cause harm.
When fear is more the enemy than the defender
But often fear is something more than just adjustment of behavior is a panic condition or a state of severe anxiety, which binds the hands and feet, and rather prevents to live. We face it when we make choice in favor of something new.Neurotic fear is always in the future, it is in our imagination
The key point about the neurotic fear is that it is always directed to the future, it is always some model of reality in our head. And if I die? Or get sick? Could you help me? I'm alone? These questions emerge in the minds and facing the reality, which is not yet, which has not yet come.
Fear is designed to prevent something.
And that something may have already happened to us. Once upon a time in the past. If you ask yourself what am I afraid, I not afraid of the present, I fear something in the future — or rather, a repeat of the situation that was in the past (or part of item). This condition of this pain that I have experienced in the past, I'm afraid to go through again.I can't fear what I never saw and never knew. This just not in my experience. I can only fear that what I have experienced.
But what about fantasies about severe diseases and death, you ask? Because we have not previously experienced!
Yes, of course. But we are not afraid of death. We are afraid of dying, afraid of the agony, which can get. I'm afraid, in fact, experience pain.
And when we were already in torment. Perhaps it was such suffering, which could be compared with the sufferings of the dying. Once upon a time, in childhood, in the most vulnerable childhood, where we are very few were able to do for themselves and relied on the protection of adults.
That's when we could feel real, genuine fear and horror of the impending end and the incessant torment. Those that last forever. Because who knows when mom will come and stop them. It is not known what will happen next, will anyone hear, will it help, will support, will ease my pain?..We could be afraid of those pains is unknown when it will end. This is the worst — not knowing when the pain will stop.
Then we could be in total impotence. May have been related to diapers, and possibly left in the hospital. Alone, with unknown doctors who RAID the body that are not interested in, how do we get it, scary if...
And the worst part is when there is no mom. Or someone who is "for us". The fact that behind our backs, and always sees to it that we didn't do anything wrong. And asks us, interested in us, says.
When a strong and clear danger to us in the moment, and we are faced with the experience of the wild fear and horror in adulthood — it is always about the past. It's always about that little girl or that little boy. It's always about the impotence and horror before the inevitable. It's always about the lack of protection and support.
Self-protection and self support. This is often on the vesting of the environment and the surrounding people is a strong power over himself and his life. It's about the fact that their own will is not enough, their own power over themselves is not enough. It's always about the request: note, support, comfort, help...Neurotic fear: how to deal with him
In fact, everything described above — is a neurotic fear, that is so, for no obvious specific reason in the here and now (not falling a house, not flying comet, no shooting of weapons, etc.). Neurotic fear is fantasy. And usually, what we do to them? We can stop and think, to dream. And then switch to something else, from the unbearable to be alone with the frightening fantasy.
In fact, we do not develop our imagination, not detail it. For example, the fear of cancer. We can imagine some horrible image, a picture, perhaps even blurry and fuzzy, and very much frightened, to run to do the analysis or, conversely, to hide somewhere under the covers.
But once we drill down into your imagination... How can that be, how do we do research, how do we know we are sick, what kind of tumor we will have? Where will it be located and how. Detailing, we can see that our over-the-top fear is the little changes may appear some other experiences.
Because we are beginning to understand that what they think may be wrong and even what we fantasize to live and there are a lot of scenarios. Fear is starting to get some visible form to become blurred and unlimited, but rather is targeted, clear. Beginning to emerge ideas and ways on how to protect themselves, what actions to take.
On the other hand, it is important to consider what it is that leads to this fantasy?For example, the objective reasons of cancer no. No diagnosis, no real disease. But in my head she kinda already is. Where does? Why cancer and not AIDS, for example...
Here, you can explore those "roots" which grow fears. It's always some past experience that we have. What is it? Someone was sick and died at the hands of? And then we can be "merge" with that person and somehow now "needs" to suffer.
And perhaps something similar has happened to you? Some kind of element like a "cancer" disease you already experienced?.. For example, you could have something to remove, cut, you could lose any authority.
And yet — this kind of fears, diseases, and any evil directed at himself is also very self-injurious action. That is, I'm in my fantasy I realize a lot of aggression and anger (and, perhaps, hatred), directed at myself. That is, for some reason I want to torture, to kill, to torture yourself. What is it about my life?Why are my organs to be burdened by a malignant tumor. Why can't they be healthy?
And if these bodies are responsible for some sphere of our lives — for example, the reproductive system, for the sphere of sexuality, reproduction, respiratory system — for the field of breath as manifestations of life, the right to life in this world, the ability to breathe this air, to have a place to claim it. Digestive system — the ability for us to use, to swallow, to digest what we need to get rid of, to reject unnecessary.
Whether such an aggressive fantasy about the disease — a manifestation of self-denial, self-hatred, or to any particular organ or system, which for some reason should not live?.. Why don't have to live my lungs? Why should I not breathe?.. Is there a place for me in this world?.. If I give myself the right to this life? Why don't have to live my reproductive system, if I allow myself to be sexy, to implement its excitement? If I allow myself to become pregnant and bear children?..
If I can absorb what is in this world — food, information, care, relax, enjoy all this, to usurp something? To digest, to reject? And something is to throw it away? I may not have that right? Or I don't deserve, I haven't done enough to "eat"? Maybe I swallowed something and I can't give up, not spit it out? How much and what I need for what I was "fed"?..
To initiate contact with neurotic fear, to start with it to be the case — it is important to "unpack". Those "layers" that the psyche is hiding from us, giving only a vague and terrible image of the "something" one or two pictures.Neurotic fear deprives us of liberty of contacting needs. Because of this horror can stand a lot of difficult experiences — for example, guilt or shame, pain, humiliation, from which you want to avoid.
But if they already have if they are "sitting" stopped and "Packed" then they will come back to haunt them — this is just such a horror and such fantasies and phobias.
In psychotherapy during individual and group psychotherapeutic work, it is possible to get in touch with what you yourself cannot see, and feel. There is a possibility by another or group of others "feel" your fear and terror, and what it stands for, consider all the "layers of cake", to explore their nature, their roots, where, how and when they originated.
5 phrases manipulators, able to bring to mind anyNo One Owes Anything
And in the end make fear more real, and hence focused, targeted, deliberate. To his online and real protection. published
Author: Elena Mitina
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©