Just when you need it, and just be what exactly you need. If you have boys, then you need those lessons and those life rewards that give sons. If the girls — so those that give daughter.
Boy or girl, the bully or the quiet is exactly what you need right now. Take the lessons their children with love and gratitude! Each child has its own purpose and his own mission!
The famous teacher and scholar Shalva Amonashvili, the author of the whole direction in science — humane pedagogics, Professor, Moscow city pedagogical University was held in Vladivostok, a seminar for teachers.
In the hall of the Moscow state University. Nevel was not talking about "educational process", and about things much more important. Amonashvili raises the question: who is the child? And who are we adults? If we have a point of view on the child? How we live and communicate with him? What is the purpose of a teacher?
By the way, he even had a lesson, a mystery of the Slavic alphabet. "The materialistic view of education demeans the child and the teacher" — says Amonashvili. Why? — we had our conversation after the lesson. So why, Shalva Alexandrovich? Strange to hear this from the mouth of a representative of the exact Sciences.
Because it is necessary to have expanded consciousness, to perceive the world and the cosmos and our destiny, and technique a wide moral and spiritual sight. But the materialistic mind does not give such a view. From a lecture Amonashvili:
"We don't know for sure, is there a higher world is real, but can take it as an assumption. You can call it what you prefer — the world of God, the absolute or the Supreme mind. The second assumption: the human soul is a kind of eternal, indestructible substance, it is oriented to eternal progress, other tasks it does not, and only we ourselves can either improve or destroy your soul.
And the third assumption: our earthly life is only a short part of the path of the soul, we are all travelers in the Universe. Yes, none of these assumptions is not provable, it is only possible to believe. But these ideas are the basis for religions and world classical literature. And the basis of humane pedagogics. And if all these assumptions are simply taken as a basis, then there is philosophical view of the child.
Who is he, child? No, it is not an accident or a whim of the parents, and the development of our lives. Children come into this world with its mission, purposes, each person slightly changes the shape of the world. As he changed his Christ, Pushkin or Einstein. Someone will say: of course, because it was genius. But the "little man" Arina had a mission.
People are born for each other, we help each other to rise.
And if the teacher will treat a child with such a position, it is unlikely that the class will hear the shout, irritation, anger: "Now everybody shut up! Quickly opened the notebook! And tomorrow you without a mother don't come!". Because the task of the teacher — not a paragraph to give, and not even just knowledge — it is not so difficult, but to help the child to find his destiny, his own path. How, what method, tool? And here begins the work of teachers." — Shalva Alexandrovich, you are saying that each person has his own destiny. Sorry, but what is it from murderers and terrorists?
— Judging from those philosophical views, on which I rely, people in this world do not come with bad intentions, it is the image of God or if you want space, because whatever it is, we are dependent on many space phenomena. But something can distort the way of man: someone did not help, was not on time near, said the chief of words. And there is a distortion of life purpose. But I think a bad person so I want to be? Many would like to make amends. And someone spends millions to charity — to buy a license... — At the seminar you showed the lesson of a teacher with children... And parents with children will also advise you to communicate with the position that your child came into this world with empty hands, and with your mission?
— I have my own view of parenting in the family, and I am also a father, a grandfather. Once we were raised, then we raise children by trial and error... Say the main thing: if the parents want to improve the educational system in the family, first and foremost, they must refrain from any punishment of the child. From any punishment!
You ask: and if the child is hurt, something bad does how to be? There are different approaches, but they all require a lot of effort on the part of parents. If you have a child, that you please, please — give time to the child! Bring it not as horrible, as always. Because if haphazardly — and then not do without the punishment, because you have no time to take him down, so we need a good spank, yell, deny, take away, scold. But if I give a large part of the soul child-rearing — such techniques are unlikely to need.
That doesn't mean I'm not going to demand from children something, just the conversation will be different. The child had done something bad, which I put to him a condition: come to this in our life was not. And persuade.
But as soon as he begins to understand and to do good — a hundred times I'm going to encourage him to strengthen in this aspiration. Or even try to do good — I will exaggerate to praise, to admire: you see, son, you become a man! And so constantly. Praise kids! We must raise up the child in his eyes. — Still child grows up with no "tricks"...
— Of course, including because it is "a passion for growing up" — a very powerful natural feeling, for which he will do anything. And suddenly the son starts to smoke — he understands growing up, and especially if dad still smokes. What to do? To prohibit, to yell? But he will steal cigarettes, money... Because he's growing up, everyone smokes, and he needs to smoke.
It is important that a child growing up in dealing with older, and if to fight, to conflict, there is a deafness that happens in many families, the cries, the father chases the son... Turns out, dad is not good for growing up and socializing, does not accept the son, then the boy finds a company where he is accepted.
Better to let a father has a son as a brother, tell him: "my Son, you're growing up... See, this is my last cigarette, and you will never see me smoke." If dad does, he loves the child, if you don't do he loves himself.
If a child does something wrong — not to punish, but to cry! With tears in the eyes to say how they are suffering with dad or mom. The mother's tears — a thousand times powerful than the mother's hands when she beats her child. Beats up, allegedly to call for the best from love, you see, beaten... But the kind of love a child will not accept never! Violence is not raising a child, and suspend its development. Wins spiritual support. And then we, the parents, themselves the terror will come...
Children with a STRONG WILL: what you need to knowThe TED talks that have to see every teacher
— How to read to persuade?
— Reads the Pope home? The child should see you reading the people around him who love and cherish the book. And once the father is given a couple of minutes — he's not drinking beer, not watching TV, and takes the wise book, sits and reads. And mom also reads.
And if bad would happen if before going to sleep mom, dad, grandma or grandpa will sit down to the child, even an adult, and read some of the pages: son, listen, please! Something from the Bible or stories and let him fall asleep, and you keep reading — even 10-15 minutes...
The child absorbs this. If you have a family reading environment and reading people — it is impossible that the child does not love to read. But you see, it's difficult for parents way. No wonder we say: children are our joy, our tears... posted
Author: Marina Ivleva