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How to convince a kid to listen to without tears and whims: 7 soft tech
In parenting there is no absolute solutions. Each child has its own character and mothers have to be creative in trying to convince him that we should do as mother says.
To improve the effectiveness of communication with their children, we offer a range of easy techniques that checked on my experience, sue beaver, master NLP practitioner, author of "Happy kids happy you" and the same book.
1. Turn "don't do that" "Do this"
Don't run away! Don't bite! we say, and the child continues to do what he was doing. Offer the child the option that you like.
Example:
Not to carry cookies from the box! — Take the Apple or Help me, please, set the table, and together we have tea with cookies.
Don't talk with your mouth full! Tell me when you chew it. Then I can understand that you want me to say.
In some cases, you can leave the child challenge "Prove me wrong" — "I Bet I can get dressed faster than you."
2. Turn "Stop" in "Go"
Use this technique if you can't think of an alternative to the actions of the child.
Example:
Stop biting! — You have itchy teeth? I want to bite? Here's the carrot. What do you think?
Stop drawing on the walls! Here's a sheet of paper, draw here.
3. Offer actionable choices
There are times when you are sure that the child will say "no"? Offering the choice, you give him the feeling of belonging, and understanding his desires and needs are respected and taken into account.
Example:
Need to get dressed. — You today(-a) choose what to wear, or I choose?
It's lunch time. Sit at the table. — Today you sit near me or with dad?
It's time to go to bed. — What you a story to read before bed – about little Red riding Hood or the Three little Pigs?
4. Get consent
Daily routine in the form of washing dishes, shopping, etc. to carry much easier if you focus on the positive results from these actions. Washing dishes will make our kitchen clean and tidy after going to the shop in the house there will be food. Also with children if the child will understand that he will give him the action, he will perform it with great interest.
Example:
Take away the toys. — Take toys from the floor and we can dance together.
Do your homework! — If you're quick cope with the lessons, you will be able to go with friends to go rollerblading/go eat ice cream/go to the movies, etc.
5. Get down on their level
In situations when the child ignores you, get down on his level so that your faces were at the same level, set down or take on hand. Thus you will demonstrate to the child their willingness to enter his world.
Example:
The child sits at the table but not eating, and playing with food. You cook dinner, periodically reminding him to sit up straight, there should be a spoon/fork, etc. the Child ignores you. Sat down next to him, you will notice that he is absorbed in his game and maybe you just did not hear. Sit, make eye contact and explain that the food we eat with a spoon.
6. Move
If you are face to face with someone, it can be interpreted as either a close relationship or confrontation. If you are side by side, the situation is interpreted as an equal relationship. If you feel the situation of confrontation with a child, make a move and take the lateral position, breaking eye contact.
7. Join its activities
The child is absorbed in his activities, and you need him to say something. Get down on his level and move, show interest to what he is passionate about. Feel the situation, comment, enter into its activities. Such regular "inclusion" is a great way to nurture your relationship.
Example:
You call children to dinner. He ignores you, repeating "Now." Let's see what the busy son or daughter, to help me finish what they started. Whether it's putting dolls or Parking the machine Park.
Having tried methods into practice, you will learn how to apply them in the complex. In their application be consistent and don't forget to back up words with deeds. Remember, according to your promises to the children was clear.
Examples:
"Eat soup like this..." and carry a spoonful of soup in his mouth. "Speak to me in a normal tone" you say do a "normal" tone and not increased.
Be sure to praise their children. But do it effectively. Not just "well Done!". Be alert to how the child's actions lead to good results and which qualities and have been involved in this. The child removed his toys? Tell me: What is a clean room (score). You are all your toys put (action). Good for you! (quality). Only in this manner the child will understand that you praised him.published
Author: Sue Beaver
Source: womo.com.ua/sem-tehnik-mamyi/
To improve the effectiveness of communication with their children, we offer a range of easy techniques that checked on my experience, sue beaver, master NLP practitioner, author of "Happy kids happy you" and the same book.
1. Turn "don't do that" "Do this"
Don't run away! Don't bite! we say, and the child continues to do what he was doing. Offer the child the option that you like.
Example:
Not to carry cookies from the box! — Take the Apple or Help me, please, set the table, and together we have tea with cookies.
Don't talk with your mouth full! Tell me when you chew it. Then I can understand that you want me to say.
In some cases, you can leave the child challenge "Prove me wrong" — "I Bet I can get dressed faster than you."
2. Turn "Stop" in "Go"
Use this technique if you can't think of an alternative to the actions of the child.
Example:
Stop biting! — You have itchy teeth? I want to bite? Here's the carrot. What do you think?
Stop drawing on the walls! Here's a sheet of paper, draw here.
3. Offer actionable choices
There are times when you are sure that the child will say "no"? Offering the choice, you give him the feeling of belonging, and understanding his desires and needs are respected and taken into account.
Example:
Need to get dressed. — You today(-a) choose what to wear, or I choose?
It's lunch time. Sit at the table. — Today you sit near me or with dad?
It's time to go to bed. — What you a story to read before bed – about little Red riding Hood or the Three little Pigs?
4. Get consent
Daily routine in the form of washing dishes, shopping, etc. to carry much easier if you focus on the positive results from these actions. Washing dishes will make our kitchen clean and tidy after going to the shop in the house there will be food. Also with children if the child will understand that he will give him the action, he will perform it with great interest.
Example:
Take away the toys. — Take toys from the floor and we can dance together.
Do your homework! — If you're quick cope with the lessons, you will be able to go with friends to go rollerblading/go eat ice cream/go to the movies, etc.
5. Get down on their level
In situations when the child ignores you, get down on his level so that your faces were at the same level, set down or take on hand. Thus you will demonstrate to the child their willingness to enter his world.
Example:
The child sits at the table but not eating, and playing with food. You cook dinner, periodically reminding him to sit up straight, there should be a spoon/fork, etc. the Child ignores you. Sat down next to him, you will notice that he is absorbed in his game and maybe you just did not hear. Sit, make eye contact and explain that the food we eat with a spoon.
6. Move
If you are face to face with someone, it can be interpreted as either a close relationship or confrontation. If you are side by side, the situation is interpreted as an equal relationship. If you feel the situation of confrontation with a child, make a move and take the lateral position, breaking eye contact.
7. Join its activities
The child is absorbed in his activities, and you need him to say something. Get down on his level and move, show interest to what he is passionate about. Feel the situation, comment, enter into its activities. Such regular "inclusion" is a great way to nurture your relationship.
Example:
You call children to dinner. He ignores you, repeating "Now." Let's see what the busy son or daughter, to help me finish what they started. Whether it's putting dolls or Parking the machine Park.
Having tried methods into practice, you will learn how to apply them in the complex. In their application be consistent and don't forget to back up words with deeds. Remember, according to your promises to the children was clear.
Examples:
"Eat soup like this..." and carry a spoonful of soup in his mouth. "Speak to me in a normal tone" you say do a "normal" tone and not increased.
Be sure to praise their children. But do it effectively. Not just "well Done!". Be alert to how the child's actions lead to good results and which qualities and have been involved in this. The child removed his toys? Tell me: What is a clean room (score). You are all your toys put (action). Good for you! (quality). Only in this manner the child will understand that you praised him.published
Author: Sue Beaver
Source: womo.com.ua/sem-tehnik-mamyi/
