My mother was my mother, too

Many people do not like to look for causal relationships. They say that it is - so it is, and can not change the past is now that you have been. Indeed, there are facts of life of each, which does not turn into something more. But they can be understood.

One of the most important stories of our lives, need to understand each one of us, it is the story of the life of our mother. And above all - her relationship with her mother and his own family

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Try to answer the following questions:

In what year was born your mother?

How does the account she was a child in the family?

As to her birth, her parents treated?

The conditions under which her parents lived?

What a time it was in the life of the country?

What kind of people he was her father and mother?

Were the parents after the children?

It was a poor family, medium or rich?

Does your mom loved her own mother?

What was she like as a child? What dream?

As she went to school?

Could she get the education that would like?

Did she really loved ones in your life?

These and many other questions will help to expand the focus of perception, understand that your mom like you - the "product" of many different relationships, conditions, circumstances. She immediately became such what you know it. Her childhood, her parents, the school, the environment, the expectations and the aspirations, hopes and dreams - all the "drop by drop" shaped her personality, her views, her performance ...

Once it was different - a naive little girl who wanted warmth and caring; shy teenager, not confident in their appearance; the girl who was waiting for love ... And something happened, something - not really ... Perhaps in her life had ups and downs. Perhaps somewhere there was a breakdown: drinking father or husband, violence, neglect or chronic rejection, poverty, insecurity, loneliness ...

Over time, it became what you know and remember her. But it is - not a monster, not insidious witch, not a fiend. But her life had injuries and loss, death and separation, betrayal and deceptions ... It happened - and it changed

. It - only a man with his life story. And from that, there were those who comforted her when she cried in her life; I stretched out a helping hand when she needed; cared for and looked after, when she was scared and lonely; I supported, when she could not cope - depends on whether she can do the same for you

. Sometimes, sinking layer by layer in the family history, we see a host of mothers who are unable to give their children what they need, because they themselves do not receive. My mother, grandmother, great-grandmother - they are each other's back, happy or unhappy, or strong Undercut, rejoicing or grieving. From generation to generation they transmit through communication with the experience of his own child to communicate with his mother. And maybe you - the same unit that stops the flow of pain, aggression, rejection, sverhvklyuchennosti, control ...

Stops through the emotional empathy of his mother and the understanding that it was not easy.

Find an old photo album. Look into the eyes of his mother. What it was then - before you were born? Look into those eyes as if you met her in real life. Mentally ask her about what is important to you. And closing the album, tell only one thing: "I do not know about you, Mom»

. Author: Natalia Olifirovich