The most powerful destroyer of family life

All! Divorce! Oh happy, accidents and ideal families.

For a start - a little vulgar materialism

. Personally, I'm his wife chose the smell. Well, that is, how to choose? Of course, I did not run after girls with spread nostrils, it would be too. Just once was in the range of the one of them, I took a deep breath, exhaled and realized that everything - life had

. Further experiments showed that the air-drop way of building relationships - it is, if not perfect, then at least the probability of tragic mistakes are minimized. Especially if you follow basic precautions, the main of which just sounds provocatively: a marriage in any case should not be taken too seriously. And God forbid you to chase the family happiness. No personal relations more destructive power than the strong desire to make them perfect.




When I was young and without families, I believe Leo Tolstoy, who said that all happy families are happy alike, and unhappy - unhappy in its own way. Nothing good, by the way, this knowledge is not promised. It turned out that married life - in any case, a hell of a meal. Either you expect incredibly boring, predictable, banal well-being, or - merry blissfully misfortune. And if we choose from those two evils, the second kind of even more attractive.

But then I grew up and realized that in real life, which is not obliged to comply with the sayings of the great writers, it is not so. You can not have any happy and unhappy families. There are just a family. Where people love each other, tolerate each other, brought to tears, swear before the bombing, shouting: "That's it! Divorce! ", Asked to rub the back, jealous, and sometimes even in the case, miss apart, protect each other from external attacks, try tomorrow with a healthy lifestyle, fight for a place on the toilet, hate tesch in-law, accused of a row in a bad effect on the child's ...

In general, bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

Accidents do not happen families. There are family disintegrating. And most broken marriages - legal and "civilian" - which I've seen in my life, could not withstand the test of time for one simple reason, and very nasty. People in these families made every effort to achieve perfection.

They chose each other for signs of "spiritual kinship", struggled to find a joint harmony, strongly helped each other to correct the disadvantages have built a unique system of mutual relations in accordance with the peculiarities of their precious personalities, trying to understand each other and as a result - have sought to live in an atmosphere of complete transparency, no secrets, some of them - aaaaaa !!! - Led joint daily diary

. All the forces fl and poor people build family happiness. Because the family - she had to be happy, what else

? Family - is in fact to everyone in her life was even better, life was even more fun than before marriage. The family career - it's a good method to improve at least a little goofy around the world. Family project - the main thing that you have to do in this life. And if we build a family, the ideal. In five-plus.

These ideas - a powerful destroyer of family life. Because once instead of after five plus minus treacherously looms - begins hell and Israel. And if, God forbid, instead of five, four - quite Fukushima. The slightest problem, which is not necessary even to correct and easy to forget - and once in the head start to climb strongly clever ideas. Maybe our relationship - it is just a mistake? Maybe I generally tied (la) smiling with the wrong person? Maybe my ideal partner is still waiting for me and we must hurry before it's too late?

Someone once decided that without mutual love is not love, and happiness is not happiness. And now thousands of unmarried journalists on the pages of men's and women's magazines tell us how to achieve this damned understanding. Tens of thousands of divorced psychologists give advice to harmonize and build family relationships. The silly civilized world with each passing day becomes stronger relationship to the family as to something such that it is necessary to correct and treat the first days. We persistently impose a standard of the ideal husband, the perfect wife, the perfect child and even an ideal mother-in - and then we suffer from a lifetime of not being able to reach it

.

Probably, I venture to provoke the following paragraph hundreds of family scandals among readers, but still ... Get away from me, for Christ's sake - I do not want in their irregular family life improve anything! And do not be me, please teach understanding! Stop to climb into the soul of your harmony! Harmonise your home dog better, and even better - a hamster

. I was happy with everything. My father and mother quarreled regularly, both grandparents' lifetime spoil each other, "and even grandparents to great-grandmothers were completely deprived misfortune to live in a perfect marriage. Somehow I had become accustomed and do not see any horror inharmonious relations. And my wife with this case was a full order - and on my mother's side, and my father's

. We want to swear and be reconciled. Because swearing and tolerated - this is normal. Cursing and put up - it's actually the main feature of proximity. Angry - from the word "heart". The main thing - to between people remained paralyzing smell of love and that's a painful feeling: my girl, boy ... All the rest - from the evil one.

Author: Dmitry Sokolov-Mitrich