Why is it important to admire the people, from the point of view of scientists
Site publishes psychologist Paul Zygmantovich article devoted to the most important, though not obvious truth: admiration can be a great tool to help seal the family and loved ones to overcome trudnosti.Ya always said that it is important to admire their loved ones. In the first place, of course, husband / wife, but this also applies to children and their parents, and in general to all.
The need for admiration - a fact that is called Medical. You can even extend the definition. It is important not only admiration - it is important to underscore the merits of any other
Admiration need almost everything and almost always causes an improvement in the couple. Especially if it was not previously admiration.
In this note we describe two experiments which demonstrate the importance and - unexpectedly - underscores the effectiveness of the other virtues. And, surprisingly, it's the underscore can not even articulate. Suffice it to believe that these advantages a person knows. Seriously - simple enough to believe
But let's go in order
So, the experiment (the study of Snyder, Tank and Bershayda):.
Men are encouraged to participate in the "Relationship Strategies" study. Agree seated in a room with a telephone. The woman had to meet, sit somewhere in another room (either before or after or during the experiment, the man did not see her).
Men showed a photograph of a woman - reportedly the same one with which to talk. Of course, the trick was - half of the participants showed a photo of a beautiful woman, and the second half - a photo, um, ugly
Of course, the behavior of men differed. Who think that communicating with a beautiful woman, evaluated it as a pleasant, balanced, prone to humor and knows how to keep the conversation going. Who thought that communicates with the plain woman, evaluated it is not so positive.
But the experiment is not the charm. The most juice in response to independent observers, who were given a listen only female cues in these conversations. All observers, without saying a word, without hearing the replica men unanimously agreed that the best impressed by the "beautiful" woman ( "beautiful" - those on which men thought that talking to a beautiful woman)
According to observers, these women were more confident, more cheerful, more sincere and more ardent than "Ugly Betty».
Attention - focus. The experiment showed that regardless of the actual appearance of a woman, and, regardless of the views of women about the beauty, the woman "flourished" at the level of behavior, if the man thought she was beautiful.
Again! To the woman began to behave as an attractive person, a man was enough to believe in its appeal.
It turns out that if a woman believes in the liberty of the man she lives with a bold man. If a man believes that his wife punctual - he lives with punctual woman
Once Jacob L. Kolominsky, supervisor of my department, conducted a similar study. In Minsk school, he and his team took the fake test data on the ability to combine these data with randomly selected students and teachers provided data. They say, look, how strange - you guys are capable of, and go to Losers, a miracle for some
Six months later, all of the selected children became honors and horoshist. A truly become, not because they have wound assessment.
That is proved that the related to the person strongly influences his behavior and even the sense of self If a man admires the wisdom of the spouses -. It will be wise. If a woman admires care wife - he is attentive. Such is the "infernal manipulation».
The more you admire the person, the more you tell him about his achievements and virtues, the more people become so.
So - more than admiration, more gratitude, more joy about the fact that next to you is this person more, more, more