A story about divorce people in Odessa

Alex's uncle comes to my shop always in the afternoon. He wondered where his chair, sits down and pointedly silent. He likes when it's rough trade. He can look at this process for a long time and with pleasure, like a drunk on a romantic fire.

- How are you doing? - I'm interested in, is no customer

. - Volodya, I am seventy-five. What might be the case when the first half of the pension is spent on food, and the second - in her analysis? Why do you need my complaints? This is not a top seller. Do you want to hear for someone else's health, go to the place in the clinic and take it all the happiness in bulk. Today I am in another case.

- I'm all - one large ear

. - Volodya, you have a car

? - There

. - I know what it is. But I think you have to be nice when you're asked about it. Now, I have something to offer to the heap to your high status "Lada" owner. I almost want to give you a chic vesch.

He carefully unwraps the package extracts therefrom old, worn with a shiny bracelet watch.

- You do not have to do. Just expose the elbow out of the window. Let the sun will play a little on the rich strap. After five minutes in the car will sit gang of luxury tsipochek that even I, Volodya, at least half an hour a widower. And you know how I love my Nina. The rest of the women will throw you under the wheels, and from there to ask in marriage.

On the face of any trace of a smile. He almost never can tell, he thinks.

- Think about it: watch tsipochki machine, and with all this fuck pleasure for some hundred to anyone but me, unnecessary hryvnia

. - Dvadtsatochku pour possible. And then - from a large consideration. Your "rich" strap strongly encrusted scratches - without enthusiasm I turn my hands useless to me "vesch". Uncle Alex takes a pause and thoughtfully looks through his glasses in the box.

- You know what, Volodya? I'll give you a good advice, and you do it at no cost. Go to our studio, ask where Aunt Valya and ask you to sew a large button on his forehead.

- Why?

- Will you wear a lower lip. Twenty hryvnia for almost a Swiss watch ?! Do not even tell my mudebeytsaly. This premium watch! Now even the children in this class do not. These young people with the wires from the ears and vitamins from McDonald's ... She also punched some clandestine Chinese in Berdichev. A solid marriage.

He makes a fantastic gesture, signifying the highest degree of indignation.

- Volodya, I have a couple of words for those hours. I've always been a person of unsound mind for their work. I've never had much money, but I always had. So Dad taught. He was a simple man and blew his nose severely out loud live symphony orchestra. But, how to make money, and most importantly - how to save, he knew. Dad said that we should be friends. So, what am I? Yes, at work, I was friends with our accountant Coley.

- This is your national fun - with all the friends

. - How different? Listen to this here. Top in this Koli has a large head with glasses. A bottom - a little bit of pee, the rest - for a good laugh. In general, with the women he was unlucky, terrible thing. And I had a friend Zina Tsarev, with her I was a friend, too. Such a stole, neither let bozhe. And I invited her to celebrate together the thirtieth anniversary of our factory. On June, as I remember. And then we announce a competition for the best costume. Well, you know, I - cutter, jack of all trades. Do yourself a rat costume: ears, tail head. Miracle, not a rat. Zina told in confidence that will be in this suit. You follow me?

- Insult

. - And you know what? Instead himself in this costume I decked shlimazel Kohl pointed to Zinochka and said, "face", and he was going to go to a sanatorium. Accountant in the rat suit ... He laughed to himself in all its two foam tooth.

Uncle Alex grins and looks at me, waiting, I appreciate all the subtlety of humor, at least, resonant laughter. I smile out of politeness.

- And here I am going to meet with tenants to pass on his summer studio, I stop at the gas station and what I see? In the luxury car "Lada" the first model with Moscow numbers sits kick-ass chick and dies of grief. The money she had stolen, and go right. This profura asks me to fill it full tank and twenty rubles to the road, and offers to pay for this is very interesting way on the wrong side. Yes, it is now eating kudoy youth tude and love. Volodya, you do not know what they want out there to fertilize? Caries? Then I only heard about it from one of the old libertine Bibirgama who used to go to a brothel before the revolution, as I work. At that time it was considered a perversion, all the more for the money.

- And you showed excessive curiosity ...

- Excess - this is not the right word. It turned out such gevalt that you are now laugh and cry with tears. We move off with it in posadochka. She takes off trousers with me and drags everything that is hanging in them, into his mouth. Azokh wei, she got up! This skilled workers needed to serve in the Navy - her tie a reef knot without removing all of the company, how do you two fingers in the opponent's leg to describe. I pribaldel that the schoolboy. It's nice to remember - he briefly pauses, closes his eyes, his face wanders contented smile

. - I'm thinking, maybe today's young people still make things right? So. Almost in the final I can see how my "Volga" reveal some three abizyan. Can you imagine? I jumped out and ran naskipidarennym bull rescue property without pants.

- So what? Recaptured swallow?

- Volodya, look at my unbaptized appearance. There you can see that I'm not Hercules? Or do you think they were afraid of my crop? The bandits laughed a little, and I pounced on them like a hungry Rabbi matzah. I tore their teeth and get a crowbar to the head. Volodya, there was a scar, a scar ... I never shave my head - I do not want shoby my upper neighbor Boris M., God bless him, seeing as I'm going through the yard to the store, shouting from the balcony: "Look, look! Dickhead for semachki goes! ". He is screaming and so, but if I shaved, Boris M. was not so wrong. And this is a shame. I left with a scar, but without panties and machines. Interestingly, this same fuel prostitute saved my life.

- How? Was not she in cahoots with the hijackers?

- Of course there was. But these three adiёta so quickly sank into my "Volga" as Baron Wrangel on the last ship to Constantinople, and at the first turn kissed telegraph pole. Brakes denied. And I was in the hospital for three months.

- Okay, so there were

. - What is the cost? Shaw are you talking about? The apartment is not handed over all stood the summer! It was was terrible losses. The lost summer of sixty-eight ...

- And Kolya something that

? - And he do? He danced Zinotchka without removing the upper part of the suit that exactly nine months later they went rats.

-.Zabavno.

- Yes, Volodya, who will tell you that sex in the USSR was not, spit in his face. And then throw a stone there. Everything was. Then a woman could get pregnant because he came into the room where five minutes ago someone did children. Each tadpole Soviet GOST and was a sign of quality. Fatherhood I lay in wait at every turn, but I do not give. Kolya raised the white flag with the first shot. I was dancing in their wedding as skazhenny. Now Nick walks in all her grandchildren and tells me thank you.

- So what's the clock

? - Oh yes. Watch ... Did not I say? Their ticket to the resort and I traded Kolya on rat suit.

- Hehe. So you traded Zinochka the clock.

- Of course, you have distorted the picture of me. But even so. I did it out of friendship. Moreover, Zina was very Soviet, and the clock - almost Swiss. Catch these two major differences? You mean it's not worth a hundred hryvnia ?! For Zinochka Tsarev ?! It was such Kral ...

- I think we should - smile and get money

. - Keep in mind that today I do not take notes, where zero is drawn only once. I would be ashamed poklast them in the pockets of my-weekend parade Brook. I want to get at my woman whole hundred and go with the two in the cafe "Ice Cream».

- Well, Uncle Alec, - I find the most elegant crisp hundred. He dignity hides money in your pocket and go.

And recently, untwisted hours, I found inside a modern mechanism with the battery and the inscription on the cover of «Made in China». Well, what to say? . Master

Author - mobilshark & ​​amp; DeaD_Must_Die

: Storyfo.ru

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