psychologist John Gottman has spent the last 40 years in research, what really affects the quality of relationships and the preservation of love couple.
Website publishes scientific findings - psychological signs that your bonds are strong and you are together for a long time.
1. You start talking very gently and kindly. H3> You are, for example, would not be talking like this with a stranger or colleague . When the conversation begins with criticism, sarcasm, contempt, anger or accusation, the other party intuitively immediately it occupies a position of defense, and the ability to talk normally disappears immediately. The root of the problem - it is an internal belief that your partner is following you, and you are not equal. When you believe that you match the person, you treat them as would like them to treat you.
2. You do not criticize. H3> Do not criticize, and complain - you say you do not like, less humiliating way. Instead of "You're so lazy / irresponsible / rough, because it was" better to say "I hate that it happened." None of you scornful - not to each other or to other people. Ridicule, name-calling - bullying tactics, which was used at the school, is unacceptable in adult relationships. Yes, you strife and, but to be honest, you do not resort to stupid insults.
3. Are you ready to take the blame. H3> because I understand that any problem both to blame.
4. You do not try to show the other person how he is wrong. H3> Your approach: "So, we have a problem and you need to decide how we will understand it, not who is to blame».
5. Communication, communication and communication again. H3> Usually, after quarreling men tend to withdraw into themselves, and often this is a problem in the relationship. Women are more open and need to be listened to.
via www.soulpost.ru/5-psixologicheskix-priznakov-chto-vy-vmeste-nadolgo/