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Jeremy Clarkson on Russian
And why be overly harmful vezhlivym.Kultovy English TV presenter, the permanent leader of the automotive show Top Gear Jeremy Clarkson visited Russia in March. The whole week. And then I took a very honest and wrote an article about us. Website advised to read it, simply because it is a great chance to look at our life through the eyes of the British.
«< How to speak Russian, polite Englishman everywhere late.
Time. It is so valued in our time, that we are happy to spend all their money by making faster, if only we had more time to do more things.
A decade or more ago, if you ever really wanted to watch a video with a falling cat, you would have left a minute to download movies from the Internet. Spend this moment I could not afford any of us. So we came up with watching video online chat. Fortunately, a group of mobile phone manufacturers around the world paid the British government 22 billion. Pounds for something called 3G. Now, people had to wait for movie Falling cat just five seconds, and for a while we were all happy.
The same thing we see in elevators. We need a button, closing the door when we are ready to go. And behind the wheel - we are indignant in traffic and we send the curse, when someone goes slowly down the sidewalk.
And it's strange, because we, the British, still willing to spend hours every day on affectation and empty chatter with people who do not know. Our obsession with good manners means that we feel a duty to discuss the weather with the postman and leave with a hairdresser. We are writing to laugh long thank-you letters to people who have thanked verbally. In business correspondence, we use phrases that do not really need - just have the need to be polite. And if we want instructions, I always start like this: "I'm sorry. I'm afraid I seem intrusive, but ... »
Cease all this because recently spent a week in Russia - a country where, it seems, did not invent manners. When an administrator at the reception of the hotel requested your passport, it says "Could you show your passport for a moment, sir, if you are not much more difficult?". She says: "Passport". And if you can not find it in three seconds, then adds: "Rather!».
If you ordered a meal, which is currently not on the menu, there will be no long awkward explanation from the waiter. He simply says, "It's not." And if you try to drag your luggage through the revolving door, no one will wait patiently until you solve the problem. Will constantly push the door is in the bag you will not beat all, and all the fingers are not repulsed.
When the British Top Gear fan-wants to be photographed with me, he spent hours explaining how his son watches the show on the channel «Dave» and how it can mimic me and everyone in the house "pray" for our transfer. In Russia, just say: "Photo". And if they do not have a camera with you, you say stand and wait until they go home and not take it.
Ever stood behind the two Britons in line for a ski lift?
- After you.
- No, you were the first.
- No, sure, you were the first.
- Oh, all right. I do not mind waiting. What a beautiful day.
- Much warmer than last year. Em>
Standing in line in Russia much easier - because no one cares. Just go to the top of the queue, and if someone objects - namely, what happened - pulls out a purse and show your credit card was indignant. In Russian it means "I am richer than you, the sun, so shut up».
Same story with the so-called polite discussions. Russian do not support the counter-arguments are subtle hints, and simply say, "You are wrong." Here's a conversation I had:
- World is ruled by Jews.
- I understand what you're saying, but I think that's not the reason.
- You are wrong.
- But there are many examples ...
- I said, you're wrong. Em>
For the British it all very weird. But some time later, I began to realize that bad manners will save a lot of time and nothing you do not need. When someone spends your evenings on every empty-headed nonsense, just say that they are wrong and walk away. The butcher does not bother a little conversation. Just say "two patties" and wait until you are told the price. When one lagging on the sidewalk, push it away from the road. The bar does not try to catch sight of the bartender. Just shout out your order from the end of the queue.
This certainly works in "Aeroflot". The plane begins to rise, although not all were seated, and the landing will not rub nonsense about the weather, and the pilot does not wish to further successful trip. You are told to sit up straight and remain in place until the plane stops. But no one listens.
Even at home, at the airport "Heathrow", I came across quite a sociable immigration officer. "For a long time been on?" - He asked politely. I saved two seconds, not bothering to answer.
Terrible itself felt. Guilty to terror. But precisely this is the curse of being British. That is why we need the 4G and buttons closing the elevator doors, and more high-speed trains. Because they save us more time so we can write long letters of thanks and a little chat with the milkman.
via www.topgearclub.ru/blogs/9154
