The story of a woman who has ceased to be angry and to change their lives for the better. h3> Website read this article recommends to all who think that marital problems can only be solved in divorce.
- I put off the moment of this until recently, but now the day has come. The day when my husband Bill went to work, and I packed up and took his two year old son and we went home to my parents. My mother met me and said that he and his father will not abandon me and help in everything.
"But before you finally get away from her husband - my mother said - to fulfill one of my request." She put a piece of paper in front of me, I held a vertical line down the middle, and asked in the first column to make a list of things that annoy me in the Bill so that it is impossible to live. I decided that she will ask the second column write a list of his positive qualities, and certainly knew that he would be much shorter.
In general, I knew what to write in the first column:
Bill always throwing their belongings. He never tells where he went. At the table blowing his nose loudly and behaves ugly. It never does me good gifts. It is messy and tightfisted in money. It never helps at home. Always silent and does not communicate with me. This list goes on for a long time, and location on the page over. I now had incontrovertible proof that no woman will live with this monster.
C camodovolnoy smile, I told my mother, "and the other column is necessary to describe his positive qualities, huh?" But my mother said she already knows his strengths. And asked me to describe my reaction to all of its shortcomings. Next to each item - I've done in response to such behavior.
That was already more difficult, I did not expect that it will go for me. But I knew that my mother did not fall behind me, until I fulfill this part of the job. So I began to write.
What am I doing in response?
Angry. He is screaming and crying. I was ashamed to be near him. I build of a martyr. I would like to marry someone else. I thought that is worth more. And, in general, it is not worthy of me. This list was also infinite. Then my mother took a piece of paper and cut it in half right in this line. She took part of the list of deficiencies Bill torn and thrown in the trash, and I gave a list of the about me, saying, "Here, take this list home and think about it today. Let the child stay with us. And then come, and if you firmly decide to get away from Bill, Dad and I will help you in everything. "
I got home and looked at his list. Without the first part of the shortcomings of Bill, he looked terrible. I saw the reflection of his terrible behavior and destructive actions and only then realized how stupid I behaved all the time. Then I thought about the qualities that irritated me a husband. And I realized that there was absolutely nothing wrong and inexcusable. I was so angry that he did not notice how lucky I was with my husband - it was good, not perfect, but a good man.
I went back to my parents. It is amazing how different I am now refers to the situation. Now, I felt peace and gratitude. Five years ago, I promised to be with him in sickness and in health - and I was horrified at how easy was ready to radically change their lives and nearly left the child without a father just because of trifles and momentary irritation. And when Bill came home from work, my son and I were waiting for him.
And I would like to say that Bill changed. But no, he has not changed. He still did all that so irritated me. But I have changed my attitude to his actions. And I'm still grateful to his mother, who with her wise advice has saved our marriage. When Bill turned 49 years old, he was diagnosed with "Alzheimer's disease", he had to leave work a teacher and I took care of her beloved husband. And when my son said, "Mom, what do we do when the Pope will not be able us to remember?" - I said, "This is what we will remember him, remember his beloved father and husband, and remember everything he taught us, he loved us. "
Becky Zerbe, was married to Bill 29 years. em>
Author: Becky Zerbe
Translation and adaptation: Website
