- When I became a mother, everything handed me millions tips on how I should love their children. But I never let them listen. Because very few people actually know how to educate not only obedient, but also of happy children.
I urge you to take responsibility in this matter for themselves. Your first priority should be happy, not obedient children. Most parents so much care about their children that do not allow them to fall and fill their own lumps. They intervene in their lives and over are actively trying to protect from possible troubles of the world.
What is your favorite parenting rule states: "Prepare your child for the road, but do not take away from him the possibility to go through it yourself».
Error number 10: You worship your children h3> Most of us try to be perfect parents. Our children live in much better conditions than their age living in us. We satisfy all the whims of their child: he wants a new toy - please !, another chocolate bar - hold! The problem, however, is that children begin to think that the world revolves around them. And the next time your child does not get what you want, something very upset. Much stronger than the boy next door, which is not so "lisp».
We must not bow down to their children. We must love them. For us they are the center of the universe, but they themselves do not have to accept. Otherwise grow selfish. Not getting what you want here and now - this is normal.
Error number 9: Do you think that your children are perfect h3> From professionals working with children, I often hear that many parents today are not prepared to take the negative reviews with respect to their offspring. As soon as someone criticizes them, he immediately stumbles upon a wave of rejection or even aggression on the part of parents. Sometimes we need to intervene as quickly as possible so that the situation does not get out of control. If school teachers tell you that your child is misbehaving and offends classmates, the findings need to do in relation to the child, not the teachers.
Error number 8: Your whole life - it's your kids h3> We are proud of our children. When they do something important, we are happy more than if it were our own success. But all should be the measure. You must have your own life and your own success. Children need the right example for others to follow. Become them. If you want your child to live a full life, living it yourself!
Error number 7: You're taking all the decisions for himself h3> Of course, we all want our child did not get into some nasty history. Of course, we want him to sing the praises of us and respect us for what we want to give him a better life.
The problem, however, is that such a child does not know how to think for themselves. And it falls into one of two extremes: either he can not take without your participation even the most trifling decisions or begins to forget that permissiveness - it's not normal. Do not decide for your child what he should be. This is not the manifestation of love on your part that you need.
Error number 6: Competitive training h3> Every parent wants his child to be better than others. Better studied, he showed the best sports results. Many people are addicted to it so much that their child begins to consider all life as one endless competition. But our life - is not only sweat and struggle. Life - it is also the joy of knowing the moment. It is better to try to instill in children the idea that winning at all costs - it is not the only thing that matters. Man does not determine his victory and his character.
Error number 5: You are depriving his childhood h3> What will be happier childhood of your child, the more he grows up a happy man. It is imperative, proven by scientists. The surest way to deprive a child of his childhood - upload it to school lessons, lessons in music school, studying a foreign language, sports, and so on. D. And we want our children to help us to do housework. But it is all you should not forget that everyone should have the right to childhood.
Error number 4: You want to have a "right" and not a "real" baby h3> We are starting to make plans for their children have when they are in our womb. We dream that they will grow and will do better than we are.
But the irony is that you can not get to a perfect child, which he dreamed. You get to the only possible person who could be born from you. Do not try to change it that you do not like. Do not force him to become what he alleged to be in your dreams. Let it be so, whom he wants to be.
Error number 3: You forget that actions speak louder than words h3> We all want to look perfect for their children. We all know that, in order that the child grew up smart and kind, we must show him an example. But most of us also not forget that the moral precepts are only in one case: if you do follow them.
So the next time you scold your child for what it is disrespectful to peers, ask yourself, maybe a child spied a negative example for you?
Error number 2: You judge parents for their children h3> When you meet anywhere was ill-mannered child, it will automatically start to think, if he had crappy parents. But it is not always the case. In the world nothing is perfect, as well as personal hopeless. We never know how much other parents worry about their children. Therefore, we do not have to judge them.
Error number 1: Underestimating nature h3> Each child has its own character and its own internal moral compass. These things mean a lot more than your attempts to turn your child into a perfect man. Do not try to teach him in the book of patterns. Each needs its own approach. The main thing is to take care - this character. The only way to give the child his temper - it allowed him more freedom. Do not hide the child from the real world. Let your love for him does not become a prison!
Author: Kari Kampakis
Translation: Konstantin Shiyan, via: Lifter
Illustration Svetlana Yurchenko
via sve-yurchenko.com/
