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Wise advice about parenting that every mother should know!
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Yuliya Gippenreyter - Doctor of Psychology, Professor of Moscow State University. MV Lomonosov Moscow State University, and she has a very wise woman who can give good advice on the issue of education of children. Her knowledge will help you to grow a happy child. His experience of it is divided in a number of scientific publications and in his lectures. We have collected for you 17 sayings of the wise woman.
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Raising a child - it's not taming. The parents are not there to develop in children the conditioned reflexes. I do not like the verb "to educate" . It is too often associated with such actions as to force, compel, demand control check. Therefore it is better to say no to "educate" and "Rast". It helps grow. To someday the child grew and was able to live among other people on their own. Think of Michelangelo's fresco of God Created by Adam. Their hands are about to meet; powerful, muscular hand of God rushes to the outstretched hand of Adam. Adult - the carrier of knowledge, wisdom, ethical principles. And it transmits all this to your child.
When the child has grown and can live independently, an adult should push his hand. Because the hand of the child has already found its own power. He is an individual person. Parental mission is over. Then there are only their personal feelings for each other, their love, friendship between parent and child. Education - it is child abuse. strong > Each child a process of reflection, its rate of development, growth. We can not interfere in this process, the more messy intervene. This means to break it! Parents should be helpers: it's like a plant - it needs to feed, protect, and do not pull the apex, take your time. About disobedience
Disobedience - the only thing that a child may oppose misuse it. angry to get the attention of , - very typical for children. strong> Teenage fashion similar to chickenpox - a lot of guys pick up and carry it in a more or less serious form, and in a few years themselves smiling, looking back. But God forbid parents at this time to enter into a protracted conflict with his son or daughter. Discipline not before, but after the establishment of good relations , and only on the basis of them. Your baby needs a negative experience , of course, if he did not threaten his life or health. Allow your child to meet the negative consequences of their actions (or its omission). Only then it will grow and become "conscious». Children often think that their parents - "Iron Felix» , just because the parents are not used to talking about himself. Therefore, it is important to talk with your child about what we feel: "You know, I was hurt to hear it." The conclusion he made himself. The main thing - to be sincere and not to manipulate his feelings. About the self-esteem
Self-esteem of the child measured his actions. Well'm - I'm done. I help my mother - I'm done. A child needs to feel good about yourself. And if not, if the "I'm bad, my mother angry with me," then it becomes really bad.
But the child can not live with a poor opinion of yourself , he turned on the mechanism of self-salvation. As the dog of herbs, a teenager looking for a place to get the approval, support, recognition. He is looking for somewhere authoritative opinion, and it comes from a bandit or father - he does not care. About school
The school as an organization is not interested in the development of creative thinking and the child's independence. It is based on top-down jobs, programs, procedures. And demands unquestioning implementation. In fact, school - is a laboratory for the production of weak-willed men: the schoolboy by definition podnevolen. He performer. When a child is forced, threatened, when the teacher says: "I do not translate to the next grade" or "All the learned, and why are you so stupid?" - In the child's fear and instill a sense of inferiority. He lost the energy, the desire to do something. Therefore, parents have to make a choice: either stand on the side of the school, or to the side of the child. Inspire - that is the task of the adult. If the school does not do this, it means that parents have to do - at least the first steps in this direction. To release the child from prinudilovki, tell him: "You do not have». One of the participants of my workshops told me that it caused a teacher and began to scold her son: he is so-and-so, He and the fifth and tenth. But this mom just said: "You know, Nina, I love my boy!" And Nina stopped. This is one answer. There is another opposite. "Thank you all told me this, I see your strong desire to help my child get out of this unpleasant situation. I'll do what you told me. " Then come in and say, "You must have noticed an improvement, and I am too. I'm sure it is because of your efforts ». < Teachers are people too. These are sometimes important to reassure and support. Make it clear that you value their work, respect her. But the evaluation of your child is always ultimately up to you. Whatever you say, you still love him. The school - it's time. And your relationship with the child - forever.
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Raising a child - it's not taming. The parents are not there to develop in children the conditioned reflexes. I do not like the verb "to educate" . It is too often associated with such actions as to force, compel, demand control check. Therefore it is better to say no to "educate" and "Rast". It helps grow. To someday the child grew and was able to live among other people on their own. Think of Michelangelo's fresco of God Created by Adam. Their hands are about to meet; powerful, muscular hand of God rushes to the outstretched hand of Adam. Adult - the carrier of knowledge, wisdom, ethical principles. And it transmits all this to your child.
When the child has grown and can live independently, an adult should push his hand. Because the hand of the child has already found its own power. He is an individual person. Parental mission is over. Then there are only their personal feelings for each other, their love, friendship between parent and child. Education - it is child abuse. strong > Each child a process of reflection, its rate of development, growth. We can not interfere in this process, the more messy intervene. This means to break it! Parents should be helpers: it's like a plant - it needs to feed, protect, and do not pull the apex, take your time. About disobedience
Disobedience - the only thing that a child may oppose misuse it. angry to get the attention of , - very typical for children. strong> Teenage fashion similar to chickenpox - a lot of guys pick up and carry it in a more or less serious form, and in a few years themselves smiling, looking back. But God forbid parents at this time to enter into a protracted conflict with his son or daughter. Discipline not before, but after the establishment of good relations , and only on the basis of them. Your baby needs a negative experience , of course, if he did not threaten his life or health. Allow your child to meet the negative consequences of their actions (or its omission). Only then it will grow and become "conscious». Children often think that their parents - "Iron Felix» , just because the parents are not used to talking about himself. Therefore, it is important to talk with your child about what we feel: "You know, I was hurt to hear it." The conclusion he made himself. The main thing - to be sincere and not to manipulate his feelings. About the self-esteem
Self-esteem of the child measured his actions. Well'm - I'm done. I help my mother - I'm done. A child needs to feel good about yourself. And if not, if the "I'm bad, my mother angry with me," then it becomes really bad.
But the child can not live with a poor opinion of yourself , he turned on the mechanism of self-salvation. As the dog of herbs, a teenager looking for a place to get the approval, support, recognition. He is looking for somewhere authoritative opinion, and it comes from a bandit or father - he does not care. About school
The school as an organization is not interested in the development of creative thinking and the child's independence. It is based on top-down jobs, programs, procedures. And demands unquestioning implementation. In fact, school - is a laboratory for the production of weak-willed men: the schoolboy by definition podnevolen. He performer. When a child is forced, threatened, when the teacher says: "I do not translate to the next grade" or "All the learned, and why are you so stupid?" - In the child's fear and instill a sense of inferiority. He lost the energy, the desire to do something. Therefore, parents have to make a choice: either stand on the side of the school, or to the side of the child. Inspire - that is the task of the adult. If the school does not do this, it means that parents have to do - at least the first steps in this direction. To release the child from prinudilovki, tell him: "You do not have». One of the participants of my workshops told me that it caused a teacher and began to scold her son: he is so-and-so, He and the fifth and tenth. But this mom just said: "You know, Nina, I love my boy!" And Nina stopped. This is one answer. There is another opposite. "Thank you all told me this, I see your strong desire to help my child get out of this unpleasant situation. I'll do what you told me. " Then come in and say, "You must have noticed an improvement, and I am too. I'm sure it is because of your efforts ». < Teachers are people too. These are sometimes important to reassure and support. Make it clear that you value their work, respect her. But the evaluation of your child is always ultimately up to you. Whatever you say, you still love him. The school - it's time. And your relationship with the child - forever.
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