I have a neighbor - a boy Arkashka. He was eight years old. Arkady - plump, firm, with serious brown eyes. His hair - hard chestnut mane. When one of the parents trying to comb it, Arkady starts muffled growl like a dog. Grins (front, however, there is no - dropped). Maybe bite.
No, Arkady - it is good. A typical eight-bandit. He does not like to do homework, wash without laces running shoes, loves animals, sweets, sadistic poems, fight ... Everything is normal, like everyone.
But about a year ago with Arkashka something happened.
It all started with the fact that the parents at the beginning of the holidays Arkashka bought books about hobbits, Harry Potter. Well, about this bespectacled labeled more or less perky written. But about hobbits with leather heels ... all these Mithrandir-Gorgoroby-Azanulbizar ... Although - a matter of taste.
Arkady first read the entire J. K. and J.. RR Then he bought movies on these novels. Arkady looked at them. And for a while still. Three days even gave himself comb and growled. And then somehow went into the kitchen to mom and dad and said:
- I would be a writer.
I thought and added:
- Aye precepts of a higher power.
More thought and added:
- What for, then? - Dad asked.
- Just because - Arkady shrugged. - Well, I went.
... Lying on the floor in some unthinkable position kvehu ass and down the head (so to the brain blood better rushes, I tried to write in arkashkinoy pose - class!), Moving like a snake, his tongue hanging out, like a piece of the rainbow (from sucking markers ), Arkady deduced in his red notebook total:
"And the evil wizard Kuramor Wannsee sword into flesh neschasnova Dobrava valshebnika Gulyulyuna three times pirivirnul Iago. Hahaha! You pagibnesh! Shouted Kuramor. mat ** **! .. »
Especially Arkady somehow liked the word mat ** **! & Quot; And yet - "vaistenu!" And "dabudit so!". And he loved them to combine, for example:
- So be it, because!
- For, indeed!
Descriptions Arkashka not given. It is their usual, so to speak, minimize. For example: "The forest was terrible." Or so (almost Chekhovian): "The sea was great. In it was a lot of water. "
But terrible things Arkashka savored. He has all the time somebody something bit off, shouting: "Let it be!" Someone someone something pierce and be sure that pierced three times "pirivorachival" ("For!") < br />
In the evening, Arkady read their works to others. First neighbors (Mom and Dad) Arkady listened to, but then their patience is running out.
- God, what a horror! - Mom said. - Arkady! What have you got for such nightmares! You're a good boy after all! ..
- And it plodt sodrygnulysya pain - even continued to chant, low, ominous voice Arkashka - and scary black bird obklyuvali yoke on all sides ...
- I can not hear any more this "sodryganie"! - Exclaims Dad. - Once someone there "obklyuvali"! .. Now I myself someone obklyuvayu! ..
- And an evil wizard Huhur ilikricheskuyu took a saw and began merrily laughing, saw off his leg sawed off and her three times! Verily! .. - Inspired Snuffles Arkashka.
- Oh, my God! .. Leg sawed off three times ... - Mom moaned.
- And then - continued Arkady, - he thrust his hand laser mace, smeared with mortal poison, and it slowly became pirivarachivat to the painful obstradalsya ...
- All! No longer can these "obstradaniya" endure! - I cried father and ran to his office. And my mother, too, ran away and locked in the bathroom.
Then Arkady that the pope still a little afraid, and my mother - no, read under the bathroom door:
- And then the Beast grabbed the victim, and, laughing together, bloated it from all sides ...
The bathroom included at full capacity cranes.
- Because I'm hungry, screaming beast! .. - Shouted in the manner of monsters Arkashka under the door, but could not drown cranes ...
Arkashka with all its innovative manuscript long hanging around the apartment. Again I lay on the floor up the booty, to write a sequel. But he did not write. Real writer needs an audience. And mom and dad announced Arkashka boycott.
Then Arkady switched to me. He dialed my number and said:
- Uncle Voves, listen to "Black ominous rocks sticking out on all sides ...»
- "Sticking" to fix - I said automatically, correcting something different. In his manuscript.
- Good. "Black ominous rocks ... are all around. The rocks ... »
- The rocks ...
- "For the living rocks scary Pivtsov blood ...»
- What's a "Pivtsov"?
- Who drink ...
- There is no such word.
- Okay ... "They gnaw the victim from all sides three times, and then took a sharp hammer ...»
- Enough. Sorry, Arkady, I'm busy ...
Soon Arkashka lost me as well as the audience. The only listener Arkashka was an old dog Chapa. A cross between a dachshund with a lapdog, something like a dwarf jackal.
Chapa quietly lying on his mat and slept. Arkady went near him and read aloud Cape's ear:
- And he's laughing, bit off his eyes ...
Chapa suffered a couple of days, then began to whine.
- The evil witch with a sharp knife is divided by the flesh of the victim ...
- Do u have! - Chapa howled like a factory whistle, and crawled under the bed.
Arkady went next to the bed and under the bed screaming howling at Chapu:
- Truly spilled blood, for so be it !!!
In a desperate howling Chapy plea was: "Because I do not Pavlov's dog! ..»
On the third day Chapa began to bark and bite, which he had not seen him. He was even a little "thrust into the flesh" Arkashka their old teeth. It does not hurt, but still picked up his thigh. Chapu not punished, for he was truly to blame.
The next day, the pope said Arkady:
- Action! Tomorrow we're leaving for a vacation. On the sea. In Sudak. Together with Uncle Vova. We would like to take and you. But only on one condition: you will not ... we read their prose. Agreed? Give us a word?
- To give, - said a bitter sigh, Arkady. He wanted the sea. But when Dad left the room, whispering Arkashka still added: - For!
Arkady kept his word: he left us alone. But others got the full ...
Airplane Arkashka to take in hand the flight attendants. After half an hour of flight stewardesses lovely, glancing at Arkashka dilated pupils, shied away from the young writer, as horses from the wolf.
At sea, the beach, moving away from our sun beds, Arkady found a victim, some lonely skuchayuschayu childless lady mediocre years.
- Hello, - he smiled charmingly lady.
- GOOD Morning, baby - willingly lisp lady. - Hello, kisynka.
- I do not kisynka I - writer. - Arkady declared sternly. - Would you like me to read to you my literary work of art?
- Of course! - Agreed to the lady. - Pochtiay, honey. Wow, this malepunchik, and already a writer! Right Mozart, not the child! ..
Malepusenky Mozart read:
- His veins, laughing, cracked under the impact of steel clubs, and a thick stream of blood flooded Death Valley ...
- Oh-oh-oh ... - moaned the lady, and mourning rippling bust, leans back on a lounger.
Two weeks later, Arkady knew everything. When he appeared on the beach with his crimson as blood, notebook, deserted beach. Even some unknown how wormed his way to the Pike German, barely spoke in Russian, seeing Arkashka, waved his arms and shouted:
- Nine! Nine! Ih - it is not! Arkady, tsuryuk!
So it took another two weeks. On the way back again we drank a flight attendant to complete.
And the heart-rending howl Chapa, as a widow at the funeral, and then barking and biting. We had to do something.
We Arkashkinymi parents held a council in the kitchen. They kept most of the night. Nothing is decided yet. The next day was the birthday of Arkashka. And here I was (I thought then), I had an idea. I quickly went to the bookstore and bought the "bad advice." Oh, naive!
A few days Arkashkiny parents were jubilant. Arkady stopped writing. They showered me with gratitude calls. But then ...
I just do I live downstairs, directly under Arkashka. First arkashkiny parents stopped calling me. Then me began to happen something strange: it heard some thumping, something ominous creaking and rustling ... and then my top neighbors flooded me.
It's Arkashkiny case. I know.
And what now reads Arkady, I have no idea. And even afraid to assume ...
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