You can, if you really

I remember my childhood very well, clearly, to the smallest detail. And I can to recall many of the events, and not very bright, I can remember sometimes the most ordinary ... nothing unremarkable day or night, I do not know why, but very clearly. To do this I need to be alone in a room, then the paint memories are brighter, the air flies past the room from the window light gray small sparkles, then gradually, but rapidly becomes noise, a smell, and I remember ...

Since my childhood I was not very sociable boy. I remember looking out the window for hours parental room on the yard where the boys were running: boys, girls - malyshnya and those who are older. We had a very friendly yard. All for one another mountain. However we walked, defended their territory from the boys with Podgornaya street, along worried if someone got it from "foreign».

I really wanted to be the same: to play "potato" or run around, shoot a water pistol in the yard dogs that this wagged their tails and jumping. Or at least just do nothing, but together. In the evening, I listened to the open window of the song with a guitar and laughing Tanya Frolova first entrance - it was love red Igor. I really wanted to be as an adult. Highly. But I could not. And I remember that very suffering. Highly.

Parents tried to kick me out, led to a psychologist, the pope went even secretly asked the guys to take me to the company, and they readily agreed, but I still continued to sit at home. I suffered. Parents are worried about me, I could feel it and suffer from it even more. And it is because of this even more worried.
The only thing that saved me at the time - this is my fantasy. I've dreamed of, really wanted to.

I studied well, very much. Mom always comes with a parents' meetings in a good mood and bought me my favorite "tube" with cream and ice cream. She said: "We must always keep the bar, you can raise or at least maintain the same level, but you can not lower it for anything, nor the slightest slice." And I will not let down. Though sometimes it was difficult at times - very.
I really wanted to share with the court cakes, and then watch how my cakes bring pleasure and joy, but I could not. Rather, I would go out and give the children pastries, but never never tried. I was not very sociable boy.

And one day I fell in love. So I do not suffer ever. I was walking home from school and was always looking for her eyes. She even smiled at me when we met views. But I never went. And it suffered. Highly.
Many years have passed, I am now an adult, wealthy person and I understand a lot of things that did not understand before. And I now know that you can break out of solitude, you can walk proudly in front of all, you can always be in the forefront. Though it is very difficult. Highly. Sometimes - unbearable. Especially if you have no hands.

© Chizhyhpyzhyh, 19.09.06

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