As my mother-in-law Troll

present the Ukrainian language translation
The phone rings.
See "TEST." What does he have to wonder?
 - Privіt, Sash. Tee tіlki not displayed as. Good? (Hello, Sasha. You just do not take offense. Okay?)
 - What else? - I ask.
 - Since then, such a right zagalom squad pilyaє ostannіm hour, moїh forces Absent whole mozok zzherla, ni normal vіdpochiti, Vipiteno gorіlki, ni in Lazne ... (Yes, there is such a thing, in general, the wife nags Recently, my strength not, the whole brain ate or relax properly or vodka to drink, nor to the bathhouse ...)
 - Short.
 - Korotshe I zaproponuvav їy two tizhnі s up to you Іrkoyu motnutisya, well Movlyav providay dіtey yak stink there solіnnya Varenne fetch, so i ti bula in Moskvі ostannіy time "if Lenina Hove." Vaughan weather. Well, not obrazhaєshsya? (In short, I offered her two weeks to you with Irkoy motnutsya, well, supposedly to visit the children they are there, pickles, jams fetch, and in Moscow, you were the last time "when Lenin was buried." She agreed. Well, do not be offended?)
 - Yeah, that's news. Udruzhit fucking. Do you have any good news?
 - Zvichayno, Je. I NKVD Tobi through neї, pіvtorashku brew passing. Good brew. Pervachok. Mi s peasants od Demba baldiimo. (Of course it is. I personally you through it, poltorashku moonshine handed. Good brew. Pervachok. We are the men of his baldeem.)
 - That fucking thank you. I'm just waiting for your pervachok. Here you fuck me to say that? I wish I had when I saw ohuel. [Next]
 - Is not displayed as, Sasha. Cudi I had її shte fusing? Garazd, let's not displayed as. SchA men vzhe halt before football needs rozslabitisya. Nashі sogodnі your vidhuyachat. Heh. (Well, no offense, Sasha. Wherever I still fused her? Okay, come on, do not be offended. SchA guys already a halt in front of football need to relax. Our today your othuyaryat. Heh.)
 - Stop, stop. So she had left what? When?
 - Well, like this. I її s Vnochi sogodnі poїzdom Sofіyskim vіdpraviv. All right, Cinco, come on. Pobachimosya. (Well, yes. I do it with the night train Sofia today to go. All right, son, come on. I'll see you.)

Oooyyyy ёёёёёb fuck fuck. Here pisdets on my head. In the evening, already pripretsya. Even have to meet 100%.

Maybe fuck home tonight? Well, I will tell my wife football with the guys in the bar decided to look back and forth, and so on.

I called.

 - Alo.
 - Alo, Sash. Mom goes to us, two weeks, today at 22:40 comes a lot of heavy bags, you have to meet. Train 060CH, the seventh car, place 23. Do you work with a lady not ed. With friends sit. And then the train station. Okay?


 - Wait wait. Do not chatter ... - I say.
 - I say, my mother today ...
 - Yes, I know, your father called and ska ...
 - Oh, he knew, why did not call, why should I learn from my mother, why, why, why ???
Vooot is familiar. Already cut in wife's mother became. Feels the approach. Apparently she had already on the phone to her lobotomy done. Brains fucking washed.
 - Yes, because he had just called and said. Ira, do not start. In general, I have other plans. My friends and I gathered at the coffee sit ... uh, mentioned the increase of ... uh ... Vaska Gorely.
 - Ahh, my mother comes so soon increase, decrease, friends, girls ...
 - Yes, some girls? You with oak collapsed?
 - Yes, I do not know you, but ... wait, hang mom calls.
I weigh fucking. That kind of talk was exactly in the summer of last year, when she pulled me to her parents to Lviv in Ukraine. And then - again, all right. Good loving family. Again, all over again.
 - All of nothing. My mother said that he was going into the compartment with a woman, that the same goes for his son it will be delivered. See how she takes care of us, that would not burn gasoline, not distracted from affairs. And you.
To himself.
"And you, my dear, do not think that we still live in Moscow. Your mother taken away somewhere, then I remember as a name. »
 - OK darling. I have already been agreed.
 - You just do not stay long. Good? I love the whole. Cyril, come on !!! (Cyril - this is my son. We see a mother for that troll sees a good judge of fact, fuck.)
 - Bye Bye. Until the evening. Kisses.
It now remains to persuade colleagues to the bar to see soccer.
 - Vasya, have plans for today? Maybe go see how Zenit will tear Miner, beer bahnem?
 - Sorry, Sanya. Del full, now I can not.
 - And Andrew where you do not know, maybe he will?
 - So it is a day today.
 - Fuck, exactly.
That outlook is not cheerful. Most go in pussy. Can Sanya or Ephraim? Now I call ...
 - No fucking can not. Okay. Soooo, if it arrives at 22:40, while here and there, come, come. Football have time to look. Well frets. Then home ...
 - That's football. It has long been a vzaimoostroy games are not observed. Playing the mutual attacks. The second half should be interesting. Should fucking !!! The doorbell rings.
 - Sasha, come open. I'm on the toilet. - Sang wife.
 - Cyril, come open, my mother in the bathroom. - I send a son.
 - Sasha, I did not understand, I say go open, my mother arrived, heavy bags ...
Oh my God.
 - Cyril, do you hear, heavy bags, go and help my grandmother open tumble into our homes. - I am the son of the troll.
I'm going to open. Two clicks of the upper, one lower castle.
 - Hi, Mom. Have you so quickly?
 - Shcho ty to Diviš mene, yak on the statue? Bіzhi down there shte Dvi bags. Let go. Kіrіllllllll, miy onuchok ulyubleny. Give forehead, potsіluyu. (What are you looking at me like a statue? Run down, there are two bags. Let go. Kirillllllll my favorite grandson. Give forehead, kiss)
 - - Ba, our Zenith your Shakhtar drёt. Who will score more.
 - Well, i scho? Meni those scho to tsogo Cup. Maintained upstream batkovі say, let them bags dopomozhe rozіbrati. (So ​​what? I though before football. It is better to tell my father, let the bag will help you understand.)
 - Repeat pas? Although I did not understand.
 - Oh, you feel good, better than I the same did not understand.
I sit watching on football. Zenith well today. Another 20 minutes of play, must win.
 - Sasha, well, you did not hear that mom asked? - Screamed the wife.
 - A vіn, if nebudu chuє vzagalі, if mom ask for? (And he'll ever hear at all, when my mother asked?) - Mother-in-law shouted from the kitchen.
 - That she would have helped, sitting with his TV series.
 - Do not show here, I have the same nails. - Yells from the other room.
 - No, not required, Ira. I own all of Rosebery. Health Protection shte dozvolyaє. A Meni Kyrylo dopomozhe. So, Kirill? (Do not, do not, Ira. I own all make out. Health still allows. And I Cyril help. Yes, Kirill?)
With an idiotic smile, the index finger at his son. Rzhu quietly.
 - Yeah, yeah ba. Ida. Thank you, Dad.
Troll Face.
 - A week has passed. Not a day of peace. I sleep in the room of his son. For it is impossible to listen to her neighbor was robbed, thumps in-law, she has grown old, and I shit ...
Stop. Where testevy moonshine? What I forgot about it. The very least I do not drink. But the principle.
 - Mom, there's grandfather Che then I passed like. You have not forgotten?
 - Infection, rozbіgsya. Nap'єtsya and potіm s squad Dytyna Biti. The I mene shte vb'є. Fіg Tobi, not moonshine. I Yogo sine tієї zhіnki vіddala scho mene pіdvoziv. (Now, fled. Drunk, and then beat his wife and child. And I still kill. Figure you, not moonshine. I'm his son, the woman gave, that I picked up.)
That fucking thank you. Others are not waiting. Get drunk, I'll beat his wife and son, and in addition it will kill.

 - Tyuyuyu, zovsіm Zabul. Well I Kirill, Tsey, yak yogo bought. Vstavlyaєtsya box and potіm Diviš televіzor i upravlyaєsh processes.

The disc is shorter, she bought him.

 - Be surprised, Kyrylo. Sully - Dita. Vlasko Ops. (See, Cyril. Sully - Ditu.Vlask Ops.)

What the fuck? Call-Duty BLACK OPS. This is wrapped.

 - Thank you, bah. - Said the son.
 - Those dad, marvel, їm not zaymaєtsya. Infect skrіz Taku osvіtu. OAO All svoїm dіtyam TAKE kupuyut. Susіdka happy. Navіt in our selі so. A vіn all yak at Radyans'ka hour Zvikov. Hoch Dytyna vihovuvav used correctly. And OAO All tsі bіyki, bіyki. Leather day Kirill come in blue bream. Scho Tse for zvіrstvo, Sina vіddavati in sektsіyu in yakіy Beating. Chuєsh, Ira. (And that, my father, look, it does. Now all is education. All of their children is to buy. A neighbor advised. Even in our village so. And he's like in Soviet times was used. Although the child would be properly educated. And all these fights, fights. Every day Kirill comes bruises. What kind of atrocity, the son to give to the section in which the beat. You hear Ira)

Son engaged in close fight.

 - Yes, Mom. I myself do not agree to be. But you know how stubborn he is.

AAAAAA. Save me, fuck. She bought her son shooter where blood fountain splatters everywhere and says that such education. Where I had to give it away in a ballet or something. And his wife there, so the son rejoiced when he brought the coin, and now. Oh my God. Give me strength to endure.

 - Mom, you do not have time to? Father in law called and said that the room was burned. Without you nothing.
 - Zhartuєsh all. Mother-kicking. Be surprised, Ira, yaky turbotlivy-law. Yak mother love. Tobi seemed, not required for Demba vihoditi. So I do not posluhala. (All kidding. Mother-kicking. Look, Ira, a careful in-law. As my mother likes. I tell you, it is not necessary for him to go. So do not listen.)
 - Sasha, what is it? Mom, do not pay attention.

OOOOOOuuuuuu. Drunk, or what? Here I sit writing, and thinking. 2 more days. On Tuesday morning leaving. As well, I am tomorrow night. Coming, as it no longer exists. Wife vsyplyu properly. And a year of peace.
And then, again TROLL FACE.
© Dud
And you also with the mother ??



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