Revenge of everyday life - not an easy thing. This film, when Steven Seagal killed another family, he moves his inescapable anguish nodules and runs to beat gate of bare biceps. Or is there a cheerful bastard when necessary napaskudit foe, hangs over his front door package with fecal surprises sobstvennozhopnogo production, the funny oblyapavshis, slips and breaks his beloved right hand and then his sprawled body ponuzhaet lascivious Pelican, escaped this morning from the zoo, uporovshis manure giraffe, whose previously fed fermented compote. All the fun and approving thumbs soar in the air.
And what do we, ordinary people, when the thirst for revenge and pulls the ribs prevents enjoy bourgeois existential?
In general, I got one neighbor. I do not know all there is, this mysterious post - senior on the porch, but in our house any. The essence of their responsibilities rather vague. Every six months they go from door to door, collecting any signatures entitling domupravleniyu continue their predatory activities, and, in fact, everything on this. But some of them (especially our Simon F.) are very serious about their project, emphasizing the word "senior". With what seemed to perk up an elderly person twice a year to annoy honest people and always scolded old woman with the courtyard? But no, it is said - a senior, so you can greet neighbors through his teeth, as if regretting the air, uttering vain spent on a pair of words to access the plebeians. Rumor has it that he once worked as a small head of the civil service and in retirement, was almost washed down, insulted the status of mere mortal. As a senior on the porch made calm in this sensitive soul, accustomed to divide and rule.
Once being slightly tipsy, I met Semyon Fedorovich in the stairwell and inadvertently allowed myself mildly ironic remark in his address. Take, say, in my deputy, also want to rotate in the highest echelons of power. He flew into a rage, for his understanding of humor, like everything in this world was subordina- categories and jokes could only senior in rank in relation to minors. Well, still allowed respectful banter between equal status.
In general, this old goat chastised me for a minute while I would not recommend him to visit the Chinese province of Hui and went home. Closing shaking hands from irritation door, I realized quite clearly that it was time to lower the swaggering mudilu from the tops of the phantom power on Mother Earth. After drinking for a creative impulse, I sat down to think about revenge.
And then it turned out that is not so easy podhuynut his neighbor without the risk at the same time enter into an unpleasant conflict with the administration, or worse, of the Criminal Law. Of course, once the idea piss geezer night the front door, but, apart from the risk of being seen by neighbors, should take into account that the detective principle of "look who benefits" certainly points to me. And the soul demanded some izyachestva, some subtle revenge.
The fifth glass of meditation, I suddenly felt a blissful shiver satori shot through my body. The idea was brilliant, and malicious neighbor was doomed.
Everyone in the house knew that until recently our entrances foreman was quite a walker. Personally, I do not understand what this man completely devoid of God's blessing, was fond of women, but rumors about his family scandals a few years ago excited the whole yard. It was necessary that any owner of a languid voice periodically nazvanivala his home, asking his wife to invite "Fyodor" to the phone. Permanent removal of the brain ruler entrance was secured.
In my environment I have exactly one owner of a languid voice - my girlfriend Masha. Immediately call her, I explained the situation and gave the number Semyonitch found in the local telephone database.
- Only his wife is the same bogomerzkih, so that you Matyukov perepadet. You do not worry, it's for business, - I warned her friend.
- Come on, frightened. I'm in tech support "EnskInterneta 'work. Matyukov a day more heard than any lover in the city.
- Well, ladnenko. You're closer to midnight calls to very insolently, and tell me tomorrow. Once a week, I think I will repeat. Maybe some friends will draw to a good cause?
- We will see. Come on, sweetheart my drunk, call each other tomorrow.
Glad that did not die even in the light of women's devotion, I went to sleep.
The next evening, coming home from work and drinking a beer with a cat, I called Masha. After exchanging greetings, she took careful aim and stabbed me in the back of the blade of betrayal.
- You know, we can not meet any more, - for no reason at all she said.
- In terms of?
- I mean, I'll throw. Now I meet with Fedor.
It was phantasmagorically unexpectedly. How the fuck, right? It seemed to me that I see a bad dream. Meanwhile, Masha told me what happened. It turned out that during yesterday's session telephone spouse aged bastard was at a party, and a call answer some priperevshayasya inappropriately relative. She calmly handed the phone Fedor Semenovich. Masha, a little lost because of an unexpected turn of events, did not have time to hang up. Suddenly, she was struck by the playful idea to pose as a secret admirer and potrollit pensioner. Rotten celadon triumph snorted and waved the remains of the tail and began ohmuryat companion. And yet ohmuril. Old horse type not spoil the furrow. Ah, Masha, you're selling the furrow. Today they had met, and the results of the meeting, I once again indefinitely remained without female affection.
- Do not worry, I will not say Fede about your stupid plan. I realize suddenly everything turned out. I myself ofigela. But, you know, he's so cool. Straight confidently beside him I feel. Do not drink, besides, not vindictive deadhead, - said Masha, it looks like remembering some of their former.
- Can be fucked - summed up I pressed the switch.
One stroke emptying a can of beer and violently poshelestev it in a clenched fist, I began to think about how to take revenge on them both now. But then somehow, you know, in vain. Well it, I thought. He punished himself that contacted heartless traitor. The vengeance of this, as it turned out, to no good does not. We need to become kinder.
And I went for vodka and became kinder.
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