The main thing - the house poryadochek

Last year I rented an apartment in Moscow, near the metro station. Kuntsevsky on very favorable conditions for me. One of the advantages of low cost and have a large area, and of the downsides - the owners were my relatives further, mandatory "no women" and "poryadochek."

Sami relatives lived in the country and in Moscow there were quite rare. Sometimes Uncle Misha came - quite old, a little strange man who (I think) did not care, except for the cleanliness of the house. "Poryadochek" was his fetish. Dust, dirt and filled with trash - not allowed. A newspaper front door should lie. He ran the Bed by theodolite - to any degree of inclination, and all strictly perpendicular.
Misha came to Moscow on business - go to reception and get the medicine in the hospital. Before coming ever reported for a week. Come spend the night, this morning went to the hospital and left, if I can do anything to 6pm. In general, I do not interfere. I Strahl not to upset his sense of beauty, and before his arrival threw the trash can where it was usually a couple of bottles of mineral water and a bag of potato chips. A newspaper front door stele he himself once visited. Very he liked her - a newspaper. Even the word "a newspaper", he always spoke as a particularly carefully.

One day at work I was met by my colleague - Serge and offered to buy the ottoman on the type of big bags.
- There are online discount, two for the price of one, - he said - if you want, take half?
I told him the other day that he wanted to buy the ottoman, but the price bites.
- Oh, zashib, for the money order two - I was delighted. - I want orange.
Serge took a green.

Here he is! Excellent ogromenny ottoman. Bag. Pear shape. Orange. Fire! And for half-price. I brought home and immediately dropped into it, and took the laptop got into the network. After a couple of minutes of sitting in a bag I could smell. It was like the smell of overheated chip, the Chinese plastics and diesel fuel at the same time. At first I thought that overheated laptop, but something tells me that the laptop was not to blame. Actually, sometimes the apartment smells came from the neighbors, but this time the smell was too strange. Groin my ottoman.

It took another five minutes. The smell grew stronger, ignore it, I was not able to.
- I guess - I thought - so all smell until the new ottomans. We need to give him some air.
And went to bed. Sleep on it.

The morning was awful. His head ached, and the room smelled of kerosene mixed with foam.
- It was necessary to open the window! - I heard a voice in my head Captain Obvious

I dug the window and went to work. He returned about 10 pm. The apartment stank. Waking up in the atmosphere again Gazenvagen foam does not suit me and I decided to look inside and see the padded stools, what is there so stink?

Ottoman consisted of three parts - the outer shell of an orange, the inside of the capsule is a thin tissue and filling - Styrofoam balls. It smelled everything. But most of all stank foam. I decided to wash. Yes. I decided to wash the foam. Balls.

You know how much foam balls were in my ottoman?

The ottoman was almost an entire tub of balls. I poured the contents of the ottoman bath, turned almost to the brim (see. KDPV). Bath foam was beautiful. Complete bath little smelly balls. I stuck to the hand to the elbow, and rustled in the thick foam. The feeling is very cool - rustling foam in the bathtub. Then he took his hands, they were balls. Held by static electricity. Shake off the balls were simple, but it seemed to me that if the blow, they all fall down. And I blew. Foam from the bath rose to 30 centimeters up and settled on the bathroom floor. Balls at the hands of treacherous remained in place.

So the foam collected from the floor, hands cleaned, we had to figure out how to wash foam. On the floor lay a thin inner bag. The initial idea was to erase the foam in the bag and to shift portions of the outer shell, but his hands to draw the foam out of the bath was uncomfortable and I went to the kitchen for some capacity. I came across a colander. Convenient volume of two liters and a grid instead of holes.
- Yeah! Just right!
Here eyes fell on the washing machine Candy. Since I was going to wash the foam, then why not entrust it to the washing machine? Durshlakom uploaded the first batch of balls in the bag, stuffed into the machine, sleep portion of the powder, rinse filled, twisted krutilki to "synthetic" (because synthetic foam) and press «Play». After 1, 5 hours, I realized that too far with the washing program. Two spin, endless and rinse and rinse aid. Nakoy it all? I want more quickly, but I waited. The foam from the machine simply shined. No hint of the smell of diesel fuel. Groin alpine herbs. The result has inspired me, I decided to wash the next batch, but in a quick wash.

The second portion is loaded, quick wash. In the hours around midnight. The phone rings. This is my mother. She always calls me at night.
- Hello how are you? How was your day?
- Yes, fine, work dofiga, rolled up.
- You eaten?
- Yes mom. I eat. You sprashivash each time, I have eaten there and every time I say the same thing. Are not you tired?
- No, you're my son. I want to know how you were doing. What are you doing?
- Foam wash
- ...
The tube was silence
- What do you erase?
- Nothing, laundry, say, put.
- Ahh ... well, go to bed early, do not delay.

Sleep really wanted. Before the end of the wash another 20 minutes. Service started, buried in a pillow. Pillow stank foam. How to sleep - I do not remember.

The second portion of the wash is worse than the first, but still nothing. Perfume was no smell, but does not stink. Stuffed the third portion, has got an alarm clock, went to bed. I wake up - I go to the machine - open the hatch. The bag broke and balls scored all the holes in which they could get. The main part, however, was left in the bag, but what caused a spilled Affairs. I transferred the contents of the bag to the rest of the shovel and began to wash the foam from stiralki. I remember clearly that at this moment in my head was not even a single thought. Because at first I just woke up and brain refused to think, and secondly - the fuck is there to think? Rake necessary.

He coped with the accident, I went to the bathroom and figured the situation. Three is not diminished by washing bath foam virtually nothing, the bag is torn, I want to sleep, and leave everything as it is impossible, because in the morning will need to take a shower and bathtub busy. Need more effektivanya technology. And technology has found. I decided to fill the powder directly into the bath and pour all the foam with water. So it seemed to me that I wash my entire entirely foam. He took a pack of Ariel and scattered it on the foam. Stir with his hands and began to pour all of the top of the shower.
Somehow, I did not take into account the fact that the foam density much lower than the density of water. That is, it does not sink. He pops up. That is to dip it in the water does not come out. I realized this only when a mountain of foam rose above the bath surface 20 cm., And threatened to pour from the edges. All the water that I poured was at the bottom, and above it was a layer of foam half a meter. It was necessary to make the foam sink. I tried to drown his hands and wash in the lower layer of water, but Ariel was to be machine washed and terribly pinching. Hands of drowning foam did not fit.

Came to the aid beater for carpets. She, like a paddle, I rowed foam and tried to mix it with water in the bottom layer. Stupid idea. The laws of physics have always been stronger than me. Very sleepy. I saw at the edge of the bath and turning the beater in the hands.
- What do I need beater? Hoover is that it is not enough. Uncle Misha, perhaps she enjoys. Special care must have taps every square centimeter of the carpet.
And then in the head jack came swift thought.
- Misha! He spoke in the week that he would come on Thursday. And now as the 3:00 like Thursday. Train him at 6 am, make it to Moscow for 3 hours and then at 10 he would be here. That was the end. Only now that I lacked.
I drew in the imagination of different pictures soon Uncle Misha. The worst thing is that none of the scenarios, I could not really explain why I wash the foam in his bathroom.

We had something urgently. The main thing - to cover their tracks. For a start it was necessary to drain the water. I reached up and opened the drain plug. The water began to leave, the level of foam in the tub began to decline. It was decided to "act on the forehead." - Scoop durshlakom balls and wash them under the shower. Upihivat foam in the bag with Ariel did not want to. Bath volume was about 100 durshlakov. I sewed a hole and filled with foam plastic bag for 3 hours hung him out to dry over the tub.

Outside, it was daylight. I did not notice as the morning came. At each corner of the apartment was scattered foam. He was in the kitchen, in the bathroom (of course), in the bathroom, in the bedroom, in the hallway, on the bed, to me, even on the table. It was necessary to collect it. I took a broom and tried to sweep Sharkey scoop. They elektrizovyvalis from linoleum and firmly glued to the broom. Then I decided to collect them with a vacuum cleaner. Old green hell of the unit and an unknown model stood in the corner. I never used it. Nozzles, which lay next to him, this vacuum cleaner does not fit and I had to vacuum the nozzle without a tube. I chased every ball personally. Dust Collector crouch foam in 30 seconds.

At 8 am I finished cleaning. In the bathroom hung a crude foam bag. We had to get ready for work. I washed, dressed and leaving, beds a newspaper outside the door. Uncle Misha that day never came.


See also

New and interesting