1. If you really want to achieve something in life, you have a lot of work on this. And now quietly today announced the winning lottery numbers.
2. Relax, do not panic if that earn money by selling one of my livers. Both I do not care to anything.
3. Children - our future. That's why they need to stop now.
4. Let's drink alcohol - the source and the solution to all our problems.
5. If you're happy and you realize it - swore.
6.Obrazovanie not help me. Every time I do something memorable, that's something takes place vypihnuv of the brain something else. Like the time when I went to the wine-making courses and forgotten how to drive a car.
7. Women - they like beer. Well look, smell good, and you're ready to step over your own mother just to get them.
8. My son, you say "Ass Kissing Guy" as if it's something bad.
9. Do not grieve. People are constantly dying. Who knows, maybe you wake up dead tomorrow.
10. I do not sleep in one bed with a woman who thinks I'm lazy. Raztak, let push the sofa in the living room and make the bed. I want to sleep.
11. Kill the boss ?! I take up a hand to carry out the American dream?
12. It takes two lies. One is lying, the other listens.
13. An attempt - the first step to failure.
14. Listen to the people there is always some kind of statistics. It is known to 14% of the population.
15. I see no reason to leave the house. We are still every time to go back.
16. Tears dog will not return. If only tears do not smell of dog food. Takchto can sit at home, absorbing the bank for dog food jar until slezyne will give it to the dog smelled the street and came back by himself. Amozhno just go and look for him.
17. The psychiatrist is not needed. We already know that our baby shift.
18. I see the smiles of their children. And I understand that they have started something bad.
19. If you're going to be angry at me every time I make a stupid, I have to stop doing stupid things.
20. Can you great deal of something, but there will always be 1,000,000 people, making it even better.
21. We can not always blame themselves for something. Blame yourself once, and live quietly on.
22. All my life I dreamed of one thing - to achieve all their goals.
23. Children - the same monkey. Only the noise from them anymore.
24. You can work on multiple jobs simultaneously and still be lazy.
25. There was not enough even to some surgeon showed me how to handle myself!
26. Be generous in bed. Share this sandwich!
27. Sometimes I lie in bed and think that nothing will make me stand up. And then I feel like getting wet under me, and I realize that I was wrong.
28. Fool and money parted quickly. I would pay a lot of money to someone who would have told me this pattern.
29. No matter how powerful and amazing as it is, I will not tolerate even arrivals from the ocean!
30. It is always best to observe the process, you do something yourself.
31. To be loved - you have to be all good every day. To hate - do not have to strain at all.
32. Life is just a bunch of all garbage that's going on.
33. The only way to get everyone to think of you it is good to get everyone to think bad about yourself. I'm tired of all the pleasure of delivering to think well of yourself ...
(Oh God, I'm Homer Simpson! That's my thoughts ...)