What respondents think about journalists

1. Journalist - is the person who calls and comes unexpectedly.
2. Almost all of the respondents seem to him inadequate.
3. Adequate only one who likes to journalists and said, "Synchronicity».
4. His desire to hear from you "cinhron" manic.
5. "synchronous" he called your text, about 20 seconds, torn out of context.
6. He was very angry when you try to explain to him that the problem is more complicated.
7. He is "carve" your complicated explanations and leave only the required 20 seconds.

8. Then, to your "synchronous" (because, remember, he called your torn out of context, the words), so here's to your "Synchronicity", he then will paste her is that the meaning of your statement perverted beyond recognition. And that he called "the assembly».

9. If you, for example, talks about his work at its facility (clinic, a farm institute) can be sure that in the story you will see pictures of another enterprise (clinics, farms, institution), taken a few years ago. They call it "blocked." And this is also mounting. Journalist sincerely convinced that all companies (clinics, farms, institutions) engaged in the same work.

10. Before you start filming transplanted with the usual comfortable chair on an uncomfortable chair can make to take up any unnecessary items (book, cat) or put a child on my knees, to rearrange some furniture.

11. In the course of the permutations of your furniture for a long time journalist will contend with the operator, using mainly the enigmatic term "optical axis". When he finally pay attention to you, insincere smile and start talking about the weather, which means that after all that has been made over you, you try to relax a bit before the interview.

12. During the filming of the journalist will tell you that the operator got the battery and, therefore, what you have been saying for the last 15 minutes and should be repeated. However, not the fact that it will record.

13. Get your 20 seconds, a journalist starts frankly bored, remove the microphone, turn off the camera, and generally lose all interest to you.

14. However, he can sit back in your office or in your apartment, but only because of it has not come yet machine.

15. If you are at this point want to talk to him, and the car will come, it quickly say goodbye to you on the important and umchitsya, muttering to move something about following the shooting.

16. In the evening, he will call to you and wheedling voice will find out what is your name and where you work. For titles. Rumpled piece of paper on which he wrote it during the filming, he lost. Can you answer him anything. Captions on the air would not come.

17. He could talk to you for a long time, and then do not show anything at all, citing different reasons - ruined the shooting did not fit into the story, show the next time.

18. However, it can not show anything and did not explain.

19. Journalist - is a person who believes that all are obliged to act in its plot, if it is necessary.

20. coaxing you to shoot he readily upotreblinet the grossest flattery (it tells you how trivial your mind, that you are the only profound expert on the topic, you look great in a frame), willingly resorts to blackmail (" If you refuse this problem for your organization without the story will come out your point of view "). All this he does, if it is necessary.

21. If it is necessary you think it is still very.

22. Refuse to you it can, under various pretexts - sorry, we have already shot (and you have, for example, a fire), I'm sorry, but we have a day off (as you fire again), I'm sorry, but that is not our format (which is the format, you still do not understand).

23. If you want to tell something good about his work, about the fact that you have a good boss, nice colleagues that you earn a good idea - you strongly say - with the advertising agency. They were interested in the case when the chief - a reptile, colleagues tend to sadism, you do not get paid for years and have themselves made several unsuccessful suicide attempts. Of these unfortunate life circumstances they are usually happy to produce what they called the "story problem" or "special report».

24. A journalist - a man who sometimes asks you the same question twice.

25. The fact that the first time he called predyntervyu and interview is the same, but the second time. They called it - "the camera».

26. A journalist - a man who every season comes to you with the same theme and the same for you is mad.

27. A careful and kind eyes, he makes only during what they called "podsemkami».

28. This is a man who does not know their respondents in the street and greets.

29. In this case, it is usually offended if anyone knows his name and the name of the television, in which he works. Insult conceals, but it can affect the content of his story.

30. If you accidentally mixed up his program with any other - is generally inexcusable. This certificate is your complete inadequacy and a serious reason to think about how you are able to cope with their work.

31. If he invited you to live, the first thing you do with some regret informed on arrival - is that your costume does not suit for the ether, because he and checkered "is cut", or the red and the "floating" or black - it is bad for "balance", or that it merges with the backdrop. What does it all mean - you no one will ever explain.

32. If the TV considers itself advanced, before the live broadcast you can take to "make-up artist." So they called the man who will fix your, in their opinion, unfit to air, appearance. In general, they believe that almost all of the respondents are not suitable for broadcast. They call it "netelegenichnost." Himself as journalists believe very "telegenic».

33. During the live broadcast will direct you in the face the lamp and wait for you to sparkling improvisations in response to questions that the journalist was preparing a few days. Usually they lie on his desk, and he quietly spying for viewers in their paper. You use bits of paper, even if it recorded a very important figure, is strictly forbidden.

34. However, before the live broadcast you, fortunately, can not drop off because journalists confuse the street where you live, and the car will be waiting elsewhere. Blame around you will.

35. Journalist - is the person who usually believes in the power of one "box».

36. In this case, in the event, the seat of power, he certainly is late and leaves them very quickly, getting his desired "synchronous».

37. Later in his story about the power of inserting the "synchronous", he always somehow poernichat overs. That is what they called "independence».

38. ordinary people it is good only if you do not ship it to his "bytovuhoy." So they called the fallen roof on your head.

39. A journalist - a man who, after talking to you, say, about the problems in your school may suddenly ask you to play something on the piano - they call it "intershum", and without it he can not do their stories. < br />
40. And this is not relevant to the case, the tool you plot the course definitely will play twice - at the beginning and the end. They call it "ring composition».

41. He may ask you to cry again, because when you wept in fact, the camera has not been included.

42. It may also ask you to take off the glasses, without which you can not see anything.

43. However, looking at you without glasses, can say - "No, it's better to wear».

44. He talks to you briefly, and then a long walk with you through the corridors and streets. That is what they called "picture" in which he will then about you as something to tell (even better to know in advance that the "picture" for a journalist is usually more important than words). For the sake of "pictures" it all ready for many (if it is the theater of war, he could easily ask the military to shoot a gun at the enemy when they do not plan to. Apparently, the "picture" requires that the gun fired, tanks crawling, aircraft carriers sailed the oceans).

45. However, to walk with you, he wants you to quickly disappear from the picture, because now he will pronounce his "stand-up».

46. ​​The "stand-up" - the journalist is synchronous. I think the most important thing for them in the "standup" - the word "behind me" (behind me - the fire, the zoo, earthquake). We can assume that the goal of "standup" - to convince everyone that all worthy of attention in this life takes place behind the journalist.

47. His synchronous journalist, unlike you, prepare ahead of time and utters a few dublinh.

48. His synchronously he usually happy, unlike you.

49. Journalist - is a person who believes that he is better than you knows how to heal, to build, to teach, to control the city (region, country), etc.

50. Journalist - it's still not a man.


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