11 most difficult moments in marriage and how to overcome them

In any marriage, there can be misunderstandings and difficult moments – it is important to know how to overcome them, to be closer and not lose a loved one. Research shows that 67% of divorces are due to unresolved conflicts that could have been prevented with the right approach.




Statistics: According to the American Psychological Association, couples who are actively working to solve problems are 85 percent more likely to save their marriage.


Understanding the nature of family crises
Marriage is not just a romantic partnership, but a complex system of interactions that is constantly evolving. Every couple faces unique challenges, but research in family psychology highlights the universal crisis points that occur in most relationships.

Dr. John Gottman, a leading researcher in family psychology, says, Successful couples don’t avoid conflict, they learn to resolve it constructively. ?


Top 11 most difficult moments in marriage

1Financial disagreement
Money remains one of the main causes of marriage conflicts. Differences in financial habits, goals, and spending approaches create tension that can disrupt relationships.
Solution: Create a family budget together. Hold monthly financial meetings to discuss expenses, income and goals. Share the responsibility: One partner may be responsible for day-to-day expenses, the other for long-term investments.



2 Differences in the upbringing of children
When partners have different views on the discipline, education and development of the child, it creates serious contradictions and affects the family atmosphere.
Solution: Discuss your childhood memories and how you were raised. Develop common principles, but leave room for individuality. Consult child psychologists in case of serious disagreements.





3 Intimacy and sexual compatibility
Differences in libido, preferences, and intimacy needs can create distance between partners and affect the overall quality of relationships.
Solution: Openly discuss your needs without judgment. Learn new ways to show intimacy. For serious problems, consult a family psychologist or sexologist.



4 Intervention of relatives
Excessive influence of parents or other relatives on family decisions can create tension and loyalty conflicts between partners.
Solution: Set clear boundaries with relatives. Support your partner in conflicts with your relatives. Create new family traditions that only belong to you.



It's important to remember: Every crisis in a relationship is an opportunity to get closer and understand each other more deeply. The main thing is not to avoid problems, but to solve them together.


5 Career vs. Family
Balancing professional ambition and family responsibilities is often a source of stress and recrimination.
Solution: Set priorities at different stages of life. Support your partner’s career goals, but not at the expense of family time. Plan joint activities and vacations in advance.



6 Lack of emotional support
When partners stop being emotionally accessible to each other, there is a feeling of loneliness in the marriage, which can lead to serious problems.
Solution: Practice active listening. Make time for daily conversations without gadgets. Learn your partner’s love language and express caring in ways they understand.



7 Domestic conflicts
Uneven distribution of household duties, different standards of cleanliness and order create constant tension in everyday life.
Solution: Make a list of household chores and distribute them fairly. Consider work schedules and personal preferences. Hire help around the house, if possible financially.





8 Loss of identity
Fusing too closely in a marriage can lead to the loss of one’s own identity and interests, creating a sense of suffocation and a desire to distance oneself.
Solution: Keep personal hobbies and friendships. Support your partner’s individual goals. Plan time for personal development and self-reflection.



9 Lack of common goals
When partners move in different directions and do not have common plans for the future, it creates a sense of disconnection and loss of meaning in the relationship.
Solution: Regularly discuss your dreams and plans. Create a shared vision of the future. Set short-term and long-term goals that you will achieve together.



10 Treason and breach of trust
Betrayal is one of the most painful crises in a marriage that requires significant effort to repair a relationship.
Solution: Full transparency from the guilty party. Professional assistance of a family psychologist. Work to rebuild trust through concrete actions, not just words. Time and patience to heal emotional wounds.



11 Age-related crises and changes
Midlife crisis, health changes, retirement – all these life transitions can create tension in a relationship.
Accept change as a natural part of life. Support your partner during the adjustment period. Find new ways to spend time together and grow as a couple.



Family psychologist Sue Johnson notes, “The strongest marriages go through many crises, but each challenge overcome together makes the bond between partners even stronger.” ?


Universal strategies for crisis management

The main rule: Remember that you are a team, not opponents. Fight the problem, not each other.


Regardless of the nature of the conflict, there are proven methods that help couples overcome difficulties:

Use “messages” instead of accusations. Express your feelings and needs without attacking your partner. Listen to understand, not to answer.


Time to cool down If emotions go off the scale, take a pause. Agree to return to the discussion after a certain time, when both are calm.


Focus on what can be changed, not what has already happened. Look for compromises and win-win solutions.


Conclusion
Marriage is a constant work on a relationship that requires patience, understanding and mutual effort. Crises are inevitable, but they must not be the end of history. Every challenge we overcome makes a couple stronger and closer. Remember: the goal is not to avoid all problems, but to learn how to solve them together, maintaining love and respect for each other.


Glossary
Emotional support
The ability of the partner to be emotionally accessible, to show empathy and understanding to the feelings and experiences of the other.

Active hearing
Communication technique, in which the listener is fully focused on the speaker, does not interrupt and ask clarifying questions.

Love language
The concept of Gary Chapman describes the five main ways of expressing and receiving love: words of support, time, gifts, help, physical intimacy.

I-messages.
A way of expressing your feelings and needs without blaming your partner, starting with “I feel...” instead of “You do...” . . ?

Midlife crisis
A period of emotional change and reassessment of life priorities, usually occurring between the ages of 40 and 60.

Empathy.
The ability to understand and share the feelings of another person, to put themselves in their place.