Recently moved to live with a man, and immediately after that my dearest mother loomed on the horizon. Bashny.Net

We all know, What is Platonic Love?. For some, by the way, it is the highest manifestation of feelings. Well, individuals cannot manifest themselves physically to the object of their desire. That's how God made them. Psychologists say that this feature lies somewhere deep in the neurons of the brain. It is not scary and is not a deviation, it is just that it can be accepted or not. That's all, actually.



But most people need intimate life as a fact. Especially if it’s a family that lives under the same roof. In any case, you can not interfere with this otherwise there will be stress, problems, up to divorce. And children, as we all know, are not found in cabbage. And no specialists will be able to help a young, vibrant body somehow change its point of view. Therefore, you need to draw certain conclusions for yourself...

For any girl, appearance is very important and I think it is useless to argue with this. You can spend hours talking about the soul, about the beautiful character and inner qualities. It's all great. But, as they say, they meet on clothes. And just look into the bathroom of any modern representative of the fair sex: creams, tonics, cosmetics. It's not just that, is it? Since childhood, I have had my own thing about it. From an early age, when I got burned in a fire and became, let's say, not very attractive to people for the rest of my life.

I was an only child at the time, but my mother, even at that age, was already distant from me. I remember it well because I saw and felt the contrast between her attitude and my father’s. And two years later, I had a brother named Zhenya. And since then, things have only gotten worse: the older children in the family often feel a lack of attention, but in my case there were even some excesses.



Mother often yelled at me, angry about and without. My father was supportive. When I could, naturally. He had a hard, nervous job. Therefore, there is nothing surprising in the fact that one day he fell down with an illness and so did not recover from him again. I was 15 years old and it was the hardest time of my life. All motherly love switched to my brother, and sometimes I did not even have the opportunity to eat normally: my mother found some reason to scold and leave without dinner. No, I was not starving, but I hope you understand the approximate attitude.

So it’s no surprise that I didn’t want to stay home after high school. Mom and Gene. By the way, he did not grow up to be the best and most loving brother. However, his son did not turn out to be, thank God. Selfish, narcissist, owner. The only thing I can say thank you to him is that he didn’t take the moment and bully me about my appearance. I could call you anything, of course. But the burn scars never touched it.

But the other kids from school and the yard weren't so noble. And not a day went by that I didn't hear them make sarcastic remarks or just make fun of me. As a child, I took their words to heart. I now understand that this was decided among children. It's like a nickname, like a bath leaf. It sticks, you can't wipe it. It doesn’t make me any easier to understand the past.



When I decided to seriously leave the house, my mother did not mind. Moreover, she gave me some money “for the first time”, but with the agreement that later, in the future, I will have to return it. Just so you know, that was barely enough to cover a third of a month's rent. I mean, by and large, it was a penny. I am so glad that in all my schooling I have found my only friend. Who put me in her apartment. Two rooms, plenty of room. And living together is more fun.

Independent, adult life taught me that no one will give you favors. Perhaps, if you have a cute appearance and a beautiful smile, you can get some bonuses for yourself. But in my case, they could have been forgotten. As much as I tried to disguise my scars on the left side of my face, it looked even worse than without the use of makeup. So I had to break through the career ladder with this “stone” around my neck.



As time went on, I made new friends, new opportunities, and some cash. I gave the debt to my mother, and she completely forgot about it: all thoughts were occupied with Zhenya, his institute and other family moments. As you can see, I was not on their list. I was generally comfortable with that. Except for personal life, or rather its complete absence. On the one hand, men were a little afraid of me because of my appearance. On the other hand, life has made me be tough at times. I never learned to smile in 32 teeth. Who would like that in a woman? Very few, one might say, units.

And one day, this "unit" met on my way. Igor, our new sales manager. It just so happened that I gave him some advice about our work environment and went out for coffee with him. I didn’t even think that he could take it in two ways: I was used to the fact that I was only interested in men as a “friend.” Well, or a useful employee, but no more. So when Igor invited me to take a walk with him on Friday night and go somewhere afterward, I couldn’t come to my senses and didn’t even know how to dress. The novelty of the situation was completely confusing.

We moved in exactly 3 weeks. I moved in with him because he asked me to. He is from another city, rented a two-bedroom apartment, not calculating, apparently, expenses with a profit. But I was happy about that, because I had been with my friend for too long. I think it's okay. I live with a man. This is the first time I've had anything like a relationship with a guy. But... Somehow it’s not serious: maximum kisses and unassuming hugs while watching the movie. Nothing else. Do you know what platonic love is? Here we go.



Of course, my girlfriends advised me to take the initiative in my own hands, since my date does not mind living with me, but is afraid to take the first step. In principle, I was not against it myself. But just the other day, like snow on my head, fell my beloved mother. She had my phone number for a long time and we even called sometimes. But just now, suddenly, she remembered that I was her daughter and in general, we did not communicate much in the past. I began to come to visit, so you can’t kick her out, told about how bad things are going at Zhenya, my brother.

And yesterday, I started hinting that we need to live together. Because I'm an older sister and we haven't seen each other as a family in a long time. You can visit your father and visit the cemetery. I loved my dad and I agree with my mom’s words. But why now, why not in time? I want to know what platonic love is. What is going on in our relationship at all? I think if it goes like this, I'll miss the moment. And my young man will either be taken away or he will offer to remain friends. I'm going back to live with a friend. Does my mother have some kind of “cheek” and she just doesn’t want me to be happy? Men will hardly understand me, but some women, I am sure, will recognize themselves in my place.



It must be strange to hear from a girl that she is not satisfied with such a platonic relationship, but I speak as it is. I am tired of this and I want to start a family. Not necessarily with children, but to live with a man as adults, I really want. And I don't see anything prejudicial about it. My family doesn’t seem to want that. So I'll have to make my choice. Otherwise, I'm gonna be an old maid at a broken trough. In a few years I will lose all hope for a normal future. I wouldn't want that. At all.