I live in the Czech Republic, with my children and husband in a cozy house, my mother is sick and asks me to destroy everything.

It just seemed like everything was getting better in my life, and there was an unfamiliar number on the phone screen. The past won't let me go. This is my mother's roommate, calling from my hometown, asking me to come immediately. It's the third day she's calling, and I still can't decide to give her an answer. My mom got sick, and the only one who cares about her is the neighbor. She doesn't leave her just because she can't pass by man. If only she knew that her mother had put herself in this situation. First she ruined her life, and now she wants to take on my...

A person in a difficult situation I don’t know what to do. Now I live in the Czech Republic, I have two beautiful children, a wonderful husband and a cozy apartment bought with honestly earned money. I just found it. dream-workWithout knowledge of the language, I had to work part-time in hotels and restaurants. I am not going to leave my family for my mother. And to move her patient to us ... I'm afraid that it will be. Someone can judge me and say that this is all nonsense, there would be a desire. I don’t have that desire, and I have good reasons for that.

What to do if a loved one in a difficult situation

Unsplash: In my family, my brother... mother-sonI'm Dad's daughter. My mother always said that as a joke, Rostislava loves more. We even laughed at the fact that she almost spooned feeding him. But it wasn't a problem for me as a kid because I had a dad. Even from kindergartens and schools, we were picked up by different parents. My dad went to my meetings, my mom went to Rostik's parents' meetings. And that seemed normal up to a point, which was until my father died.

Dad's been gone for a long time. heart attack. It is a terrible grief in our family, no one could even imagine how this could happen. But I know that night he was on edge, because he and his mother often quarreled, and that day was no exception. I don't know how she feels after that, or if she blames herself for his death. All I know is that since then my childhood has ended.



My mom still took care of Rostika, and I left on my own. I always felt like I was bothering her with my presence. I tried to be better and more independent, hoping that then she would be proud of me. But this only made it easier for her: she didn’t have to help me with anything, but she was messing with Rostik. He had problems in his studies, then the room was a mess - in general, she had something to do. I'm on the budget.And Rostislav did not succeed, he went to a paid technical school.

I can’t say she was angry or angry with me. Sometimes I was annoyed, but nothing more. I was not punished or lectured, even if I thought I deserved it. And then I rejoiced at this attitude, not realizing that it was pureness. My mother was never interested in anything until my affairs crossed her personal boundaries or caused her problems. I never asked about my business or my relationship.



Of course, with Rostislav the story was absolutely the opposite: she pestered him every free minute. Did he eat, did he dress warmly, did he do his homework, what kind of girl did he call him, did he get sick? She did not let him live in the hostel, arguing that she already pays for his studies, and she will not pull the hostel. Besides, there's bad company and repair for three! How can Rostislav live in such conditions? But I think it was an excuse, and she just never intended it. let go.

But I said goodbye to my dear soul, but I initially said that I will pay myself, because I found a part-time job. We lived together with my classmate. So it turned out that our paths — my mother and Rostik — separated for a very, very long time.



Unsplash I graduated with a red diploma because I knew that I was alone and no one would clear my way in life. And somehow she got used to being on her own until she met her first husband, and that -- it changed everything. Yes, it was love at first sight! I have never been in such a serious relationship before. They quickly decided to get married and signed up. Like many, we thought our feelings would never change.

Lived in a rented apartment as the most ordinary young family. But after a year and a half, the relationship began to fall apart before our eyes: nothing remained of the former passion, not even simple human understanding. My husband began to drink, walk and break at me about anything. As a result, I had to pack up And I moved out, because I couldn't stand it anymore. I found myself in a situation where I had nowhere to go but home. It’s good that there were no children, otherwise I don’t know what I would do. The situation has turned for the worse. A person in a difficult situation is comforted only by prayer, which I did: I sincerely prayed.



Unsplash Mom continued to live in the same place, Rostislav did not move anywhere from her. He also married and brought his wife home. So my mom, when she saw me with my bags on the doorstep, was obviously not thrilled. She spent a long time chastising me for not saving the marriage, for jumping out to marry the first person she met. And she hinted gently that her house was simple. No room for me. And she can't evict a young family.

If it wasn't for my mom's old friend who took me in for six months, I don't know where I would have gone. I had no savings, my friends and husband are all in common. It was hard to come to my senses, and I cut ties with my mother, I still can’t forget her detached expression at the sight of me on the doorstep. Honestly, I could have moved out much earlier from Aunt Nina, but she was very kind to me and allowed me to stay longer so I could save a little bit. And I had a lot to save for, because I stayed in this city and in this country. I didn't..



As soon as I came to my senses, I quickly realized that alone and on such a low salary I would save for housing for the rest of my life. Therefore, despite a brilliant education, I decided to go to work in the Czech Republic as a handyman. And now I can confidently say that it was the best decision of my life. It was there, abroad, that I found my soulmate and built a real family. Now I have two beautiful twins and I’m going to love them equally.

A person in a difficult situation: to act rationally or succumb to the torment of conscience? But a few days ago, my perfect picture of the world cracked again. We just got back on our feet, just decorated the apartment for which so diligently saved up with my husband. And all of a sudden, mommy's roommate It shatters me. It turns out that the mother is sick, the son still lives with her, but his wife abandoned him, and he himself is drunk. He started taking things out of the house because he lost his job. The mother blames everything, because she apparently pecked her daughter-in-law so much that she couldn't stand it.



The neighbor is sounding the alarm, asking to come because my mother is not working for health reasons. Can't even go out for food. I have no idea what to do now. My whole life trying to get out of this nightmare, went as far as possible, but he still caught up with me. And now my mother is a miserable man. And I'm a selfish daughter who doesn't want to take care of her only parent and her drinking son.



Unsplash What to do? I'm not ready to leave my family for her. Bring her here? You still have to go, get her a passport, give up the job you just got. And even if it is, living in the same house again? When we're just here born? This is the day I can’t answer my neighbor. The husband comforts us, says we can afford a nurse who will take care of her, clean and buy groceries. That's the way it is, but I still feel guilty, and it won't solve the problem with my brother. What to do in such a situation?

Tags

See also

New and interesting