Arriving home, I decided not to pull and immediately invited the parents of the daughter groom to visit, so I learned a lot about myself

What lazy mother It can become so due to fatigue and burnout, many psychologists know. This is especially true of single mothers. When a small child or even children do not give a minute of rest. But you still need to somehow earn money, and no one canceled housework. Gradually, a person simply becomes empty from the inside and sends everything to a known address.



Although, on the other hand, children do not always fairly attribute this status to their parent. This is especially true of the modern generation. At a time when the Internet is just full of all sorts of advertising expensive products, childish whims are becoming more and more whimsical. My classmate has the latest game console, so why don’t I have one?

Since I did not want to work all my life as an accountant in local production and sit side by side at a crappy table, receiving only pennies and speeches of approval from the leadership, I decided to take decisive measures. Sorry about the tautology. I collected things, money that was kept for a rainy day. I told my daughter that it was just necessary, I left it with my mother, and I went to work in another country.

Since I had some knowledge of English, and I understand numbers well, for me there was one not too dusty job from a friend of an emigrant. It's better than cleaning people or washing dishes in a restaurant. Of course, the stars did not fall from the sky, but my salary was much more than I could get at home.



I kept in touch with my daughter, who, though not immediately, was used to my absence. She was 13 years old at the time, but she had a lot to understand. Especially after my father and I divorced. I confess that in order to appease her somehow and to make her life with her grandfather not seem so gray and dull, I began to buy everything for her. Makeup, clothes, phone. Everything is expensive, fashionable, modern.

But most of the money went to construction. We lived outside the city and that suited me. So to build a small house and somehow furnish it - the dream of a woman almost pre-retirement age. Shh, grace. Don’t go anywhere and watch the crowds. That's what I like. I think age plays a role, but the main thing is that I am more comfortable.

My dad was involved in construction: his friends were building, and he handed over the money and checked if everything was going according to plan. It turned out really well. I came to see when it was all over. I even consulted another person about buying furniture. But that's another story.



I didn't forget my daughter, either. When she turned 18, I realized that she was not going to stay in girls for long. I kept buying things, though not as enthusiastically as I did at first. She also sent money to live with her grandfather. So she wasn't hungry. After another conversation, it turned out that Lisa wants to live in a new city.

I was surprised when I found out that it is fashionable to build houses. In the sense that on the lower floors of such a house could be anything you want: a market, pharmacy, gym, beauty salon and much more. But the prices of such real estate cost crazy money. My "peripheral" house was not standing nearby.

Then I took a bit of water and decided that I would do without repairing my dreams. I'd rather work harder and add the money I saved to buy an apartment in one of those new-fangled buildings. One-bedroom, of course. Even she's worth crazy money.

In general, when the necessary amount was practically raised, the daughter announced that she wanted to get married. Great, I've got the gift ready. I can say that I was very lucky: the wedding itself was supposed to be in 7 months and the young did not want a lush holiday, the right decision. For the money they saved, they had plans.



When I finally got home and rested in my home, I began to take care of my maternal duties. Invited the groom's parents. She set the table, dressed up. They turned out to be nice people, not urban either. The kind that speaks straight to the eye, without a glance. And with them, I learned something new about myself.

They told me I was a lazy mom. That's what my own daughter says. That I was going to come early, because why, if the money for her comfortable life I have not yet earned. One-bedroom apartment? How will she and her husband live there? It's tight, and the kids will come later. Again, in the city without a car? What a shame. But if I were not lazy, work for another 5 years and everyone would be happy.

By the way, she also treats her groom quite consumer. My matchmakers promised to give them an apartment for the wedding, which they got from their grandmother. Also in the city, but there is no repair and the area, say, far from the center. It's just a krushchevka, nothing special. So, the daughter, having learned about this, proposed the following idea: since her apartment is more expensive and richer, then she is more important.



They will live in it, and the son-in-law’s apartment will be rented out. And the money for the change will all go to the needs of the daughter. Because, first of all, they will live with her. And second, she's used to a certain way of life, and now that I'm home, someone has to provide for her. I came back because of her wedding. Although that's not really true.

And these kind and honest people tell me these details, as politely and delicately as possible, and I blush more and more. No, well, I noticed that the daughter has her own character, but I thought it was more of a plus. You need character in life. But this is already called differently, unprintable words. Though my son-in-law is kind of happy. On the other hand, he is only 23 years old.

Wedding, of course, no one will cancel. And I don't want to ruin a young couple's life. But I have so many questions for my own child and I'm afraid her answers won't suit me. I wish I knew how I was a lazy mom. And I don’t know where to start to dot the “i.” I want to take a couple of days to think hard about everything and finally decide how to proceed.



I used to be used by my husband, which led to my divorce. My daughter, and even someone else’s family, wants to use me. This time I had no patience at all. But what if the scandal affects other people, and I wouldn’t want to? The situation, of course, does not wish the enemy.