My husband and I are not poor, we manage to help my parents a little, but recently they upset me with their request. Bashny.Net

Typical family problem: lend On their "wants"? Everyone thinks differently, but most often the answer depends on the budget. It is, as they say, a matter of life. But children grow and their demands only become more expensive. When parents can’t cope, brothers can turn to sisters or vice versa. How do you respond to adult relatives to such requests?



Peels answers may be the most indivisible. If brother and sister used to live under the same roof, now that everyone has their own life, do obligations still force each other to help? Psychologically, yes, I guess. But purely from the everyday... Everyone makes the decision on their own. How would you help a brother or sister you haven’t spoken to in a long time?

We had a normal family like that. Mom, Dad, me and my brother, Zhenya. I have nothing to say about my childhood. Well, I went to school, fell in love with guys. I had a friend, we discussed the series together, and that’s all.

My brother is 4 years older than me. It’s a good idea if your sister was born later. As a girl, her brother must protect her. There. And I want to tell you what happened to me. Although we went to the same school, and our surname is the same, but few people even knew that we are relatives.

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When I came to class with gum in my hair, everyone laughed at me. And I even knew who gave me that gum. But my brother didn't stand up for me. Not because he chickened out or didn't know. He just cared about the drum. What's going on with those juniors? And I remember it well, because there was no one to stand up for me then.

Or here's another example. A guy got attached to me on summer vacation. Zhenya knew him very well then. I asked him who he was, what kind of person? He called me all the time, didn't let me through. And my brother didn't say anything, just so I wouldn't expect us to make a good couple. Because I'm much dumber than him, and he's the slowest guy in their company. I didn’t recommend anything and I was humiliated.



Then it turned out he really liked me. But what can you do, they were young, stupid. He then went to a private school. It's a business right now, yeah. Stupid, you see.

But I'm not poor myself, let's just say. She got married at 23. Then by standard. We had children, took the apartment on a mortgage. There's a car, too. My husband had to go to work in the United States. He comes back from time to time, we're fine. But still distance is a headache.

But Zhenya, for example, went on another path. Married and divorced 2 years later. There was a terrible scandal, his ex even wrote to me on social networks that he was very disappointed in our family, in him and in general. He married a second time and the result was similar. It's also a divorce, but it's quiet, it's kind of boring, actually.



Now he's a bachelor, pays alimony, works in production and blames someone else for everything, not his stupid character. He lives with our parents, by the way. After all, he no longer has money for separate housing. We didn’t get close at all, although I understand why.

If as a child we were not close enough, then in this mess I even understand him. What kind of a sister is there when life is a mess? You can understand me, though. What kind of support can there be with that attitude?

Our parents are pensioners. I help them financially from time to time. There is no problem with this in my family. My husband gets a good salary, I also work, everything is fine. How much do they need? Dad has two hobbies - fishing and repairing old "Zhiguli", which are easier to throw away than repair.



My mother is a housewife, but sometimes she likes to buy books. She may not even read it, but she likes the process and storing good copies. Hobbies, to put it simply. And I support her in that. I can just come and give her a nice collection of rare pieces if I find something like this on the Internet. That's it, they have enough food and clothes.

But recently my brother broke down a car, expensive breakdown, need a large sum. He's been driving it lately, so the problem is pretty critical. He has no money. And parents don't have that amount. Of course, everyone at that moment remembered me.

At first, my mother hinted that I could help in this situation. Then my father called. Zhenya also wrote a message that he wants to meet, talk. I already know what the topic will be. Except I'm not really interested in him.



Don't get me wrong, I understand that a person has a black streak in life. And he's my own. But that kinship is only on paper. In fact, this is a stranger who ignored me all his life and treated me like a shadow. So what am I supposed to do now, drop everything and run to the rescue? What joy is that?

I want to be firm and just refuse. I understand that it will be a betrayal for the parents and they will certainly take his side. They live with him and he is closer to them. Besides, son, heir. What about me? My daughter, who now lives separately, I have my own family. It's not about money, it's about attitude. And principles.



What could this lead to in the future? We'll see. But I'm going to stand my ground and do what sane reason dictates. As I have been treated in the past, I will now respond. What to do, life puts everything in its place.