How to Raise a Happy Child

After the birth of a child, the life of a woman turns into a round-the-clock watch for the care of the baby. Although the husband and relatives are sure that the decree is similar to a resort. Sit at home, play with the child, change diapers, walk... In your free time, you can clean the kitchen. With such a support group mother She forgets that she is primarily a woman, not a housekeeper. Sitting alone in the toilet is a basic human right, just like sleeping with your eyes closed.



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Experienced mothers comfort that it will become easier a little later. But when? With the age of the child, the situation only gets worse: “How is it?” I gave you the best years, I gave up my career! You could say thank you for growing up.” The mother gives the child all of herself, gives the last and the best, and he suffers. Suffers at 5, at 10, at 30... And in another quarrel with anger, he says: “I did not ask me to give birth!”

As psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky says, “If the meaning of your life is in another person, then your own life has no meaning.” And he's right. When a child becomes the center of the universe around which all relatives revolve, he grows up to be a real egoist. He has no desire for others, for he is the master.



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What do I do? We must not stop living for ourselves. No, don’t give up on the baby, as many “right” moms might think. We need to value ourselves and live in joy. This will seem selfish to the child. But who wants your victims? As practice shows, no one. And selfish moms have the happiest kids.

It's about healthy selfishness. priority and values. All children are empaths who can read emotions. If a mother can be happy and happy, children will learn to be happy. The main task of parents is to show the child that life is beautiful!





DepositPhotos There Are No Perfect Mothers You can never embrace the immense. In 90% of cases, the child needs a calm and adequate mother. Psychologists say that in order to raise a happy childSelfish mothers must meet the following requirements.

What a selfish mother does.

1. Choosing breastfeeding
   Breastfeeding is primarily convenient. Breasts help during childhood illnesses and whims. No need to get up in the middle of the night, sterilize bottles, dilute the mixture. No matter what you say! But if breastfeeding does not work out, never blame yourself.
   
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2. Take care of herself.
   We are talking primarily about basic needs: time to lunch, take a shower and get a good night’s sleep. Manicure, hairdresser, coffee with a girlfriend - this is also necessary.
3. He can ask for help.
   Especially my husband. Dad in the house is not a piece of decor. He will be able to change the baby's diaper, buy groceries, pick up older children from school. Not so terrible is the extra jacket and hat worn by the child’s grandmother. Maybe it’s hard for my mom because she never asks for help. 51290
   
   
   
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4. Sometimes it includes the “lazy mother” mode.
   You can't do everything. You do not need to clean the apartment to shine, falling from fatigue. Picking up toys several times a day is also an empty undertaking. Distribute household responsibilities to all family members, including children.
5. He's into something.
   Some people like to knit and embroidery, others find remote work for several hours. No matter what you do, the main thing is that you like it.
   
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6. Don't forget her husband.
   The husband also wants attention and care from the woman. You don’t have to cook a three-course meal to please your loved one. Sometimes it is enough to talk, hug and be alone.
7. Don't hurt your health.
   You do not need to perform heroic acts in the form of mandatory three-hour walks, if before that there was a sleepless night. Normal sleep is the key to emotional stability.
   
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8. Doesn't become a "carrier mom"
   The child does not need mugs and sections every day, as well as all sorts of “development rooms”. When choosing additional classes, always weigh how it will affect the quality of your own life. Perhaps the English school near the house is no worse than fashionable, but on the other side of the city.
9. Does not suffer from hyperprotection and does not look for a child's disease
   Good intentions pave the way to hell. Paradoxically, over-caring for children can eventually lead to a lack of friends and mental disorders. In adulthood, overprotected children cannot establish personal life, find work.
10. It does not extinguish independence in children.
    Never humiliate childhood. Give the baby a choice. At any age, let him do what he likes. Of course, with my mother's help, it will be much better. But only help when asked.
    
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    Surely you don’t want to tell your friends like this: “My murmur is already 15, and he won’t make a sandwich, the bed won’t make, he won’t sew a button ...”
    
    
11. Not feeling guilty.
    Remember, guilt won't change anything. There is no point in suffering that you had to go to work and give the baby to kindergarten. Instead, try to really be with your child rather than chatting on the phone while walking. Don’t worry about your child all the time while at work. You are not only a mother, but also a colleague, friend, wife.
12. One day off, the law!
    Dedicate at least one day a month to yourself. Put everything aside, take the kids to your grandmas and let yourself do what you want. By the way, every adult family member needs such a reboot.
    
    
    
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Psychologists say that if a woman devotes all her time to a child, it is very harmful and even dangerous, primarily for the child. A child who is used to being near his mother (dad, grandparent, any parent) who is fully involved in his affairs will never be independent. Moreover, he will not learn to empathize, be attentive to others and notice their needs.

Child-rearing and education It is not limited to fashion school and the number of clubs. It is much more important to teach a child to make an informed choice, to teach him to be confident in himself. Let the “right” moms think you’re selfish. It is better to be like this than to demand from the child all his life the repayment of debts that he did not take and did not ask to give him.



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Of course, the baby is the main thing. But every mother has a border that separates her personal space and the interests of the child. The only question is who and where does this border move?

Should parents have children when we make our own decisions? I don't know, but when you're a mom, you don't stop being a person. Your interests, your personal life, and your dreams are as important as taking care of a child. Never forget that.

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