When is it necessary to help others? Bashny.Net

We've been taught since childhood that do good. It is nice to know that you are useful to someone and bring happiness. But when you hear more and more, "Well, you're like Mother Teresa," it's a wake-up call. There are people for whom the need to do good by and large prevents a normal life. More precisely, their lives simply fade into the background and even collapse.



DepositPhotos

A woman with Mother Teresa's complex lives many lives, sometimes without even realizing it. She considers herself indebted to others, such as her parents, colleague, sister/brother, neighbor, who once borrowed something. She feels guilty and wants to help. Editorial "Site" He will tell you that there is an irrepressible desire to do good to someone.

Can you ask what is wrong with a person doing good to others? The fact is that women often forget about themselves and their loved ones. For example, one day a girl left a small town and got married. She takes the responsibility of helping relatives (not necessarily parents) and does everything for them, otherwise she just feels awkward.



DepositPhotos

Sends money, helps nephews get a job at the institute, negotiates with doctors about treatment. She always does something for them, even when they are not asked. As a result, the husband was tired of it all, because for his family she was of little use, and he abandoned her. Have you often seen those who have done well all their lives get a helping hand? There are many examples where constant help is provided to strangers.



DepositPhotos

A woman with the Mother Teresa complex lives the lives of others while ignoring her own. She considers herself to be indebted to people, without guilt to everyone and everyone. But the real problem begins when a woman remembers herself.

At this moment, her attitudes change dramatically: yesterday she felt her guilt before humanity, and today all of humanity should be immensely grateful to her for her actions. Then the life of his household, friends and relatives turns into a real hell, because of it comes accumulated anger over the years.





For the first time about such a manifestation of self-sacrifice by women spoke American psychoanalyst Karen Horney. In her opinion, Mother Teresa syndrome gives rise to an unconscious sense of guilt, which, most likely, comes from childhood. For example, she had very authoritarian and strict parents who reproached for every transgression or reacted with anger to irritate the child, making him always feel guilty.





The child begins to experience fear of heavy retribution for bad thoughts, feelings and actions and therefore always tries to demonstrate his sacrifice and desire to please everyone. Over the years, compassion becomes a part of life. Habitual sacrifice does not even allow you to think about your own good, because in the world there are so many poor and disadvantaged people, cats, dogs.





In any case, addiction to good deeds is a psychological problem. Defining it is quite simple. Think about if you can’t fulfill someone’s request, do you feel guilty; when people talk about problems, do you think it’s your duty to offer them help; do you justify those who asked for help and they didn’t help; do you try to delve into the details of the lives of acquaintances even from a distance?

If you can answer 2 questions in the affirmative, you have Mother Teresa's complex.



DepositPhotos

To get rid of him, think about why you feel guilty. Put everything on paper, remember your childhood and what you were scolded for, and also try to analyze all the difficult periods of your life. Find out if other people’s problems depend on you. Learn to say “no”: start with small requests, and the battle will become easier for you. Do not give the battle affirmative answers, but take time to think.



DepositPhotos

Excessive responsiveness and sacrifice often become an obstacle to personal happiness. Therefore, in doing good, do not neglect your own interests. Don’t let your self dissolve into millions of us. Find a middle ground between selfishness and altruism and help people when they really need your help. Do it. good deeds It is necessary to have a pure soul, and not to repair with their help your spiritual wounds.

We also advise you to re-read from time to time 20 quotes by Erich Fromm about the issues that disturb a person.

Photo by depositphotos preview.